Story my life

[Darkover]

My childhood was terrible from early age my parent split up like 3 years old
My mother was terrible and my dad wasn't there much when we was younger even though I would go to live with him from age 12 onwards

At 12 years old I stole my mothers benefit books and went to the post office to cash them in
At age 16 I burgled my mothers house for her stereo
Both times the police were called in I got a caution and sent on some program for 6 months

I never went to school from age 12 onwards dropped out to smoke weed everyday and play on the play station one

I've had one sexual relationship between age of 16 to 18 resulting in a baby boy
She broke up with me destroying my mental wellbeing in the process

At 18 I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia probably due to me smoking weed from the age of 11 onwards has my sister and her boyfriend use to give it me all the time

At 18 I was sent to jail for a crime I didn't commit for 2 months ruining the last bit of hope I had for a life here, all because some girl came on to me instead of the other lad and I went outside to help him in a fight he had caused because he was upset that the girl didn't choose him

Broken arm left shoulder goes weak and limp dislocated 10 times from age 18 on wards
But it was injury caused when I was in nappies , when my mother was changing me she picked me up by my left arm only and I remember it hurting and something clicked

Decayed teeth 22 cavities by the age of 18 my parents never took me to the dentist
By the age of 30 I'd lost 4 moulders teeth with others needing fillings

22 years old took a paracetamol overdoes resulting in my stomach lining being damaged unable to drink alcohol without being sick, I wake up in the middle of the night needing to sit up and burp, I need to drink milk all the time to settle my belly, can't drink fizzy pop without upsetting my belly causing great
Discomfort

30 years old I got a brain injury and a bad case of tinnitus because I was addicted to smoking weed in 2014 to 2016 I'd basically just smoked weed every day for 2 years and was listening to music with headphones on resulting in my brain injury and tinnitus

I've never worked or had a job just lived off welfare system but I did learn computer programming and made 10k online selling my software and over 100,000 downloads on my software
I've never drove a car or shot a gun

Now 36 and I ready to die and have been for 6 years now there was never any kind of life here for me its just been one disaster after another and my life has only gotten worse with time

 

[again_noidea]

shit, that sounds terrible. do you have any hope left?

 

[Darkover]

shit, that sounds terrible. do you have any hope left?

there's no kind of life left here for me now i mean what woman would want me with all my health problems, no i'm planning on leaving soon just need to get SN or N this month

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really horrible what you have been through. It must be unbearable to be suffering so much. I think that it is awful how things can always get so much worse and there is no limit as to how bad things can get. I hope that you find relief from your pain.