Help My life has completely unravelled within eight months.

[alexithymia]

Within eight months, my boyfriend of five years broke up with me, I experienced a psychotic break, and I dropped out of university.

I am now living at home with my parents at the ripe age of 24. I feel totally hopeless. I am too much of a pussy to ctb although I've experimented several times with hanging. I don't want to do this anymore. I just don't. I spend every day suffering. My mom has been saying she's going to take me to the hospital and that I just need to move forward. I don't want to move forward. I want this to be over already.

 

[noreasonsleft]

You are not alone. I know what it feels like to lose a person you loved so deeply. I am here because of that too. On here you will find nice people that care and are loving and supportive. I know how the pain makes it look like we are the only ones going through this rough patch but it isn't really like that. Sending you lots of love. I am here if you want to talk

 

[alexithymia]

You are not alone. I know what it feels like to lose a person you loved so deeply. I am here because of that too. On here you will find nice people that care and are loving and supportive. I know how the pain makes it look like we are the only ones going through this rough patch but it isn't really like that. Sending you lots of love. I am here if you want to talk

The people here are so compassionate. I feel a deep sense of solidarity with you folks.

I thought I'd be okay when I met him but it all crumbled. The heartbreak has been unbearable.

Thank you for taking the time to reply.

 

[any%]

Hey alexithymia,

sorry that you are here! You must feel as if there is nothing ahead of you and I know that feeling all too well. I do not encourage anyone to ctb and you stated you probably won`t because you are too afraid of it (totally understandable, nothing "pussy" there).

So I guess now that your bf is gone and you already dropped out of university, why not trying to focus on yourself and getting over that psychotic episode you are having? I think, you are a giant mess of feelings right now and you can`t make proper decisions with a burdened heart. Maybe you despise me for saying such things but know that I am here for you and your questions, fears and troubles. At any time, feel free to PM me or chat or ignore me, it is in your hands!

We live on the same planet with the same messed up civilisation & if I can take off the edge just a little by listening and discussing with you over things then the world might be ok for a few more painless moments. My heart goes out to you, hugs!

 

[noreasonsleft]

The people here are so compassionate. I feel a deep sense of solidarity with you folks.

I thought I'd be okay when I met him but it all crumbled. The heartbreak has been unbearable.

Thank you for taking the time to reply.

I know it is one of the worst pains ever. We care and are here for you.

 

[alexithymia]

Hey alexithymia,

sorry that you are here! You must feel as if there is nothing ahead of you and I know that feeling all too well. I do not encourage anyone to ctb and you stated you probably won`t because you are too afraid of it (totally understandable, nothing "pussy" there).

So I guess now that your bf is gone and you already dropped out of university, why not trying to focus on yourself and getting over that psychotic episode you are having? I think, you are a giant mess of feelings right now and you can`t make proper decisions with a burdened heart. Maybe you despise me for saying such things but know that I am here for you and your questions, fears and troubles. At any time, feel free to PM me or chat or ignore me, it is in your hands!

We live on the same planet with the same messed up civilisation & if I can take off the edge just a little by listening and discussing with you over things then the world might be ok for a few more painless moments. My heart goes out to you, hugs!

I appreciate your reply. I feel hopeless, though. I don't have the motivation, energy, or courage to do anything right now. Even ctb.

 

[any%]

I totally understand. Just know that if you want to reach out, pls do reach out, because we are here for you. Until then I hope you can relax in any form a little bit and also don`t lose too much sleep over your troubles.

And don`t do anything spontaneous ctb-wise, it can make everything even worse if not carried out properly.
I did try to impulsively take my own life with seventeen and because it was not properly done it hurt me more in the end. You are a new member, so I cant assess your mindset at all, that is why I simply wanted to add this, because it is important!

We are here for you if you want us there! That is all I really wanted to say.

 

[Jolene40]

I would have been a wreck myself if I'd been with someone so long. It's absolute cliche crap but the saying times a healer is so true when it comes to heartbreak. Are you on any meds to try help buffer the pain you're in.

 

[alexithymia]

I would have been a wreck myself if I'd been with someone so long. It's absolute cliche crap but the saying times a healer is so true when it comes to heartbreak. Are you on any meds to try help buffer the pain you're in.

Thank you so much for your reply.

It's made worse by the fact that it was my first (and only) relationship. Fucking sucks.

I have Seroquel and Lexapro as well as Propranolol. They do help. Seroquel in particular knocks me out completely. If only it were permanent...

 

[Blackjack]

My life also unraveled (for completely different reasons) 8 months ago, too. I'm far older than you but just know that you're not alone. I've been surprised at how many younger people are here in so much pain. When I was 24 I thought I had everything all figured out and my life would just go according to my grand plan. It was a rude awakening when it didn't. I hope you find some comfort here with other like-minded folks.