Braindead Atheist
Specialist
- Oct 7, 2020
- 387
My childhood and teenhood was AWFUL. I was in psych wards frim the time i was 6. The staff were cruel and intentionally made me cry. They also locked us in our room all day with nothing to do. I had nightmare disorder for years due to meds. I was sucked into this spiral of buzzing, vibating and fashing colors that made awful noises and static electricity. The charecters in the dream electricuted me and there was one who would dip knives in colored poisons and slit my fingers with them. Then hed stab me and my blood would mix on the floor with the colored poisons.
i was locked up again at 7 and 10. My roommate beat me and at the next one the girls were awful. Fights everyday.
I had trouble sitting still and paying attention in school. When i did i got overwhelmed by tasks and complex info. I wouldn't have the working memory or auditory processing to process the directions and my mind would go blank when I tried to figure things out.
I had to get accemic support at the public school up the hill and miss recess. It was really the highlight of my life. I had a friend who went with me named nathan and wed joke around obnoxiously. They were nice to me there and I kept in touch with my teacher, Ms.Allen and the principal, ms gill. I thought we bonded because she asked me, "Isabelle if you everhave a son and a daughter, i want youbto name the daughter therese and the son Allen." And she would say stuff like that to me a lot. but i guess she was just bluffing because a few months ago Ms.Allen blocked me for no reason on fb and I asked her why on insta and get this SHE IGNORED ME! Like all those years spending one on one time with her meant NOTHING! I talk to ms.gill probably once or twice a year and I'm just wondering how long it will take her to let me down just like everyone else.
Anyways back to the story,
when I was 12 the principal, mrs.watson and nun, sister petra at my Christian elementary school bullied me. The principal would scream in my face for drawing in class and smirk when i cried. and she took my picture when I was mad just to harrase me.
She also banned me from school field trips.
The nun came charging up to me screaming that I was " so full of hate!" And I watched both of them bully my favorite teacher. And no one could do anything!
I transferred to an alternative middle school where two boys, Chad and Reid bullied me. They made jokes at me expense and Chad constantly taunted and humiliated me in the hall.stuff like, "you a little girl!" "Do you still take baths?!" "Got milk?!" And "chubby baby!"
He even made a gun with his fingers at me. I told him if I were his mom I would have aborted him. None of the teachers or staff did anything about it either. But when I lashed out there was hell to pay.
Meanwhile my meds made me throw up every night and I was bullied at school of religion.
I got locked up only to be beat again my some other bitch that should have been aborted.
In high school I was suicidal and my friend who I THOUGHT I could count on threw my friendship away for being "a bad example " she chose this girl who bullied me instead. I got a note from her saying i was "nothing but a bitter memory" yeah bitch you almost killed me.
In college my uncle(great uncle who was like a grandfather to me) and friend from elementary school died within a month of eachother. I decided I didn't want to study fashion design anymore because I sucked at sewing and reading the directions.
And once I was over that I did that I was suicidal and once again my best friend, Corinna betrayed me because i was "too negative". I was there for her but she was never there for me. She befriended all my friends leaving me with no one to truly trust.
At the same time I was having uncomfortable symptoms like extreme constipation like I'd go 5-10 days. And my insides itched and cramped. It felt like I had a uti, I was moody to the point of almost needing to go to the er with depression. I was overly tired. I was gaining weight uncomfortably. They were rude to me at my chipotle job for being tired. They said "you have less energy than a cancer patient " and got mad at me for saying anything.
i found out i have pcos. It still feels like i have a uti almost every day. Im bloated and fat.
My friend from college threw my friendship away because I was 15 minutes late. I was really uncomfortable that day. I felt my insides burning and I felt nauseous and like I had a uti.
One night I felt awful and bloated. My insides cramped, burned and itched terribly.
I was upset about everything and wanted to kill myself. My parents betrayed me and called the cops. I hit my dad for doing so because I didn't want to end up in jail or a horrible psych ward.
Oh but the cops knew I was physically uncomfortable and suicidal and they took me to jail anyways where I had a panic attack which I had again later at my warehouse job.
Oh and the cherry on top of this shit sunday if a life?!
I'm also mentally retarded and my parents are in denial and force me to work.
The job world has been nothing but being overworked, bullied for being slow and being fired for being slow(aka discrimination) or just doingsomething i hate becauseits all im capable of. I had a job at TJ maxx standing in the fitting room ALL DAY. So boring. Then I did the same thing at Sprouts.
After that I got a job at chipotle and their ungrateful asses screamed at me stuff like, "if you do this wrong one more time it's not going to be pretty" "why are you so slow?!" And "GET OFF THE LINE! GO CLEAN!" "you have no problem solving skills " "You bring the whole team down".etc. one person sat there and screamed at me about how stupid I was and insulted me for half an hour. They had to hold me back from hitting him.
The next job i had was at target as fulfillment. I wasn't fast enough and marked too many items as not found. So they moved me to get this, CLEANING CARTS. So boring. They even sat there and showed me how to do it. For that I was lazy on purpose because I was done.
Then I got a job in a warehouse and had so much trouble paying attention when picking and packing items that I had be moved to another location because I "wasn't successful ". After that I got a job at Life centers working with people who are retarded like me and they fired me because I "wasn't catching on fast enough "
now I work with special needs adults elsewhere and I'm TERRIBLE at it. The night staff talk harshly to me and write aggressive notes telling me what to do and how to do it. I also suck at transferring them out of their chairs and in the car. My back hurts terribly.
Turns out I have adhd and that's why I have these troubles with processing and memory.
Due to my SLOW learning pace,processing issues and forgetfulness, there's no way I'll be a successful graphic designer.
I'm DONE. I have no future accept more hell. I just want nothing (death is a void of existence). I can wait to kill myself. I deserve better. I need a hero, but I guess that's going to be me.
A nyan cocktail for me*if I'm smart enough to make it.
If someone could how to the website screen shot the recipe and where to get the ingredients that would be great!
i was locked up again at 7 and 10. My roommate beat me and at the next one the girls were awful. Fights everyday.
I had trouble sitting still and paying attention in school. When i did i got overwhelmed by tasks and complex info. I wouldn't have the working memory or auditory processing to process the directions and my mind would go blank when I tried to figure things out.
I had to get accemic support at the public school up the hill and miss recess. It was really the highlight of my life. I had a friend who went with me named nathan and wed joke around obnoxiously. They were nice to me there and I kept in touch with my teacher, Ms.Allen and the principal, ms gill. I thought we bonded because she asked me, "Isabelle if you everhave a son and a daughter, i want youbto name the daughter therese and the son Allen." And she would say stuff like that to me a lot. but i guess she was just bluffing because a few months ago Ms.Allen blocked me for no reason on fb and I asked her why on insta and get this SHE IGNORED ME! Like all those years spending one on one time with her meant NOTHING! I talk to ms.gill probably once or twice a year and I'm just wondering how long it will take her to let me down just like everyone else.
Anyways back to the story,
when I was 12 the principal, mrs.watson and nun, sister petra at my Christian elementary school bullied me. The principal would scream in my face for drawing in class and smirk when i cried. and she took my picture when I was mad just to harrase me.
She also banned me from school field trips.
The nun came charging up to me screaming that I was " so full of hate!" And I watched both of them bully my favorite teacher. And no one could do anything!
I transferred to an alternative middle school where two boys, Chad and Reid bullied me. They made jokes at me expense and Chad constantly taunted and humiliated me in the hall.stuff like, "you a little girl!" "Do you still take baths?!" "Got milk?!" And "chubby baby!"
He even made a gun with his fingers at me. I told him if I were his mom I would have aborted him. None of the teachers or staff did anything about it either. But when I lashed out there was hell to pay.
Meanwhile my meds made me throw up every night and I was bullied at school of religion.
I got locked up only to be beat again my some other bitch that should have been aborted.
In high school I was suicidal and my friend who I THOUGHT I could count on threw my friendship away for being "a bad example " she chose this girl who bullied me instead. I got a note from her saying i was "nothing but a bitter memory" yeah bitch you almost killed me.
In college my uncle(great uncle who was like a grandfather to me) and friend from elementary school died within a month of eachother. I decided I didn't want to study fashion design anymore because I sucked at sewing and reading the directions.
And once I was over that I did that I was suicidal and once again my best friend, Corinna betrayed me because i was "too negative". I was there for her but she was never there for me. She befriended all my friends leaving me with no one to truly trust.
At the same time I was having uncomfortable symptoms like extreme constipation like I'd go 5-10 days. And my insides itched and cramped. It felt like I had a uti, I was moody to the point of almost needing to go to the er with depression. I was overly tired. I was gaining weight uncomfortably. They were rude to me at my chipotle job for being tired. They said "you have less energy than a cancer patient " and got mad at me for saying anything.
i found out i have pcos. It still feels like i have a uti almost every day. Im bloated and fat.
My friend from college threw my friendship away because I was 15 minutes late. I was really uncomfortable that day. I felt my insides burning and I felt nauseous and like I had a uti.
One night I felt awful and bloated. My insides cramped, burned and itched terribly.
I was upset about everything and wanted to kill myself. My parents betrayed me and called the cops. I hit my dad for doing so because I didn't want to end up in jail or a horrible psych ward.
Oh but the cops knew I was physically uncomfortable and suicidal and they took me to jail anyways where I had a panic attack which I had again later at my warehouse job.
Oh and the cherry on top of this shit sunday if a life?!
I'm also mentally retarded and my parents are in denial and force me to work.
The job world has been nothing but being overworked, bullied for being slow and being fired for being slow(aka discrimination) or just doingsomething i hate becauseits all im capable of. I had a job at TJ maxx standing in the fitting room ALL DAY. So boring. Then I did the same thing at Sprouts.
After that I got a job at chipotle and their ungrateful asses screamed at me stuff like, "if you do this wrong one more time it's not going to be pretty" "why are you so slow?!" And "GET OFF THE LINE! GO CLEAN!" "you have no problem solving skills " "You bring the whole team down".etc. one person sat there and screamed at me about how stupid I was and insulted me for half an hour. They had to hold me back from hitting him.
The next job i had was at target as fulfillment. I wasn't fast enough and marked too many items as not found. So they moved me to get this, CLEANING CARTS. So boring. They even sat there and showed me how to do it. For that I was lazy on purpose because I was done.
Then I got a job in a warehouse and had so much trouble paying attention when picking and packing items that I had be moved to another location because I "wasn't successful ". After that I got a job at Life centers working with people who are retarded like me and they fired me because I "wasn't catching on fast enough "
now I work with special needs adults elsewhere and I'm TERRIBLE at it. The night staff talk harshly to me and write aggressive notes telling me what to do and how to do it. I also suck at transferring them out of their chairs and in the car. My back hurts terribly.
Turns out I have adhd and that's why I have these troubles with processing and memory.
Due to my SLOW learning pace,processing issues and forgetfulness, there's no way I'll be a successful graphic designer.
I'm DONE. I have no future accept more hell. I just want nothing (death is a void of existence). I can wait to kill myself. I deserve better. I need a hero, but I guess that's going to be me.
A nyan cocktail for me*if I'm smart enough to make it.
If someone could how to the website screen shot the recipe and where to get the ingredients that would be great!
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