Braindead Atheist

Braindead Atheist

Specialist
Oct 7, 2020
387
Maybe there's one last thing each person has to do before they die. I recently thought of that. A past mentor of mine reached out to me asking for help with a banner for her church (ik ironic bc I'm an athiest) but since I care about her, I decided to help her. The people she hired to do the original design were being pricks and it was really stupid...I told her I'd do it for free and we'd show those idiots up.

The banner turned out great and I just get this feeling that I did what I needed to do because there just doesn't seem to be anything else for me here but trauma, dissatisfaction and disappointment . It feels like a drag and I can't deal with anyone bad situations. I get the sense that if I stay theres going to be something horrific that will happen to me. Its hard to explain, but its just the way the visual-spatial reality is looking.

I feel this weird sting in my head...I don't think I even feel safe staying. It won't be good if I do and two people I care about stopped caring and refuse to understand the trauma I explained. Its been awful and just devastating. I'm just basically staring apathetically all day and eating next to nothing.

I just want my memory completely erased and IG CTB is probably the best way to get that and get away from any miserable fate that awaits me. As much as I love my friends, I can't be the person they need if I keep getting fucked over constantly by life. Its most fair to everyone, especially myself if I ctb.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,920
To me it's really understandable wanting to escape from all future suffering, existence certainly is so cruel and dreadful, I wish you the best, this existence finally being forgotten about also sounds so ideal to me.
 
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