my home is so gross and its an uphill battle. it makes me feel so miserable

[fantasticalreality]

This is incredibly embarrassing to talk about, but since i was young ive lived in disgusting houses, probably since I was 9? There was a room blocked off when i was that age that was just full of dirty laundry covered in cat piss. cat piss has destroyed my life. i love cats, and i have too many, but it is not by choice. when i was young i found one stray, and i wanted to keep her. places werent allowing fixing or neutering. it turned into 7 years of cats, all originating from her offspring and offsprings offspring, its so hard to find homes for black cats especially. i saw a lot of kittens die, too. It got better and i moved a few times, last was a nasty dirty filthy house in which my parents smoked meth and got into fights, destroying it further. as the cat problem grew, the messes did as well. some boy cats, even after being neutered, spray all over the walls. girls sometimes do it as well. my current house was so beautiful when we moved in, lovely flooring and the entire place is incredibly special to me due to the work my dad did on it when he was alive. my many cats, probably around 20, have pissed on every corner of it, and do daily. id love to rehome the cat, but he has health problems and is terrified to go outside at all. we have over 20 cats now. we started with 7 after we moved. but strays came, and had their babies, and it hurts me to see them outside our doors, crying. its just so many and everytime i work at rehoming them i get no support from my mother, i know she hates it and she does so much up keep but she never makes any moves to address the problem, probably because she is always working and doesnt have energy left over. i just want to live in a normal house. my cat keeps shitting on the floor in my bedroom, hes never done t his and i dont know why he is. i took the lid off the litterbox, and have been keeping it extra clean. maybe the universe just wants to torture me more. i havent lived in a clean house since i was a small child. every place ive been ist been shameful to have friends over. anytime i invite someone over now i have to spend 3 hours cleaning. i fucking hate it. its an uphill battle with no hope. it all just gets ruined again. i hate my life. i hate my existence. i hate the smells i hate how dirty i feel. i hate how lazy and jaded i am. i hate everything. i just want to give up.

 

[PI3.14]

Unless you live in a huge mansion and have so much money and multiple housemaids to help clean around, taking care of 20 cats is impossible.

Is there any organization that you can contact to help take care of the cats? Cus the current state of things it's good, neither for you nor for the cats.

As much as I love cats, people here now this about me, your health and well-being comes first. Living in a house where it has urine and poops around isn't healthy at all.

Also, taking care of stray cats isn't your job. Many of us here feel very hurt to see stray cats, however, you can't do much about it. You can buy them food if you can, but that's about it.

If no organization can help you with the cats, then, and as much as I hate to say this, you need to take all of them out of the house and away from it.

There are countless humans suffering on the streets, let alone animals, but you can't take the burden of helping them when you yourself need help, plus, you can't provide them the help they need to begin with.

I hope you find a way out of this situation sooner than later. Also, hiring professional cleaners might help, after you solve the cats issue ofc. The house will probably need professional cleaning and sanitizing, a clean place is a requirement for better mental health.

 

[58Alice85]

i hate how filthy everything is i live in a city and taking a walk makes me feel like i smoked a pack of cigarettes

 

[fantasticalreality]

Unless you live in a huge mansion and have so much money and multiple housemaids to help clean around, taking care of 20 cats is impossible.

Is there any organization that you can contact to help take care of the cats? Cus the current state of things it's good, neither for you nor for the cats.

As much as I love cats, people here now this about me, your health and well-being comes first. Living in a house where it has urine and poops around isn't healthy at all.

Also, taking care of stray cats isn't your job. Many of us here feel very hurt to see stray cats, however, you can't do much about it. You can buy them food if you can, but that's about it.

If no organization can help you with the cats, then, and as much as I hate to say this, you need to take all of them out of the house and away from it.

There are countless humans suffering on the streets, let alone animals, but you can't take the burden of helping them when you yourself need help, plus, you can't provide them the help they need to begin with.

I hope you find a way out of this situation sooner than later. Also, hiring professional cleaners might help, after you solve the cats issue ofc. The house will probably need professional cleaning and sanitizing, a clean place is a requirement for better mental health.

a lot of them live outside partially, a large number of the 20 cats are kittens that were recently born, theyre sick as well, their mother was originally feral. long complicated bullshit. i do work with two organizations, one we use to neuter and spay them and ferals that we've seen or caught, and another i volunteer with once a week. my house isnt hazardous, maybe i exaggerated it. we deep clean it weekly, and clean in general daily, every morning and night. its like a part time job. id rather have my house ruined then risk them dying outside alone, even if i do vent about it all. its just the constant upkeep that is tiring, so i dont even bother cleaning my room when i get extra depressed sometimes, but its still livable and i just clean it once again. im looking at a lot of resources for rehoming, but its difficult in the end to ever make sure it all goes through. its just a tough situation thatll get better eventually, but for now to even afford my slightly always gross house i need an ACTUAL job and to start college soon. even if this insane number of cats problem was taking care of, im sure id still be on this website