My goodbye thread

[Lilmeowssi]

Hello you guys~

I have been part of this forum for almost a year now and I feel like my time to ctb has come. I don't actually want to die but nobody wants me to live. All I do is bother people and all I am is a burden to people. I don't deserve live.
I am thankful that I have had you guys who were always there for me, no matter what. In real life I have never had anyone to talk about this with. I am sorry to anyone who I have offended, bothered or hurt in this forum. I wish you all the best and I love every single one of you.
I prefer to not tell you about my method, since I might get hate for it and I am in such a vulnerable state right now that I could not handle it.
I am leaving tomorrow afternoon but please don't ban me yet. I want to be banned if I don't post anything until next week on Friday.
Maybe I'll finally get my much desired peace.. Love

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

Thinking of you and hoping you find the peace you seek.

 

[demon bunny]

i just want to say that other people don't determine your value. if other people don't like you that's their loss not yours. but i understand that you're suffering.

also if you don't want to die...then don't. your post you wrote is extremely selfless and courteous. you don't seem to want to hurt anybody at all. i think you're just in a lot of pain. do your best okay. i think this is definitely worth reconsidering. i am looking at what you said and i think it's no reason to ctb.

sending you my love!!!! <3

 

[Zhontafly]

I don't actually want to die but nobody wants me to live. All I do is bother people and all I am is a burden to people. I don't deserve live.

I concur with demon bunny here. You say you don't want to die, then don't. Just cause you have haters around you doesnt mean that you should die. Also life doesnt ask or tell you if you deserve to live or not, deserving anything is a human concept, its not actual reality. Reality is that life is unfair and doesnt care (not saying that people dont care about you with this).

For example: Does Trump DESERVE to be president? Does Beyonce deserve to be beautiful and able to sing? Do children in 3rd world countries deserve to die from starvation?

Me, in your position, I would live in spite of them. But that's just me!

Stay cool and all the best.

 

[TheQ22]

I read back through some of your posts and you remind me of my daughter.

When she was at school she had no friends, and some of the kids there treated her really badly. Exactly the same things you talk about, she'd invite them to her parties but they'd rarely invite her to theirs, they'd hang out together and never hang out with her, even in the playground at school she'd be all by herself.

I think some of the girls (it's a smallish village) had known each other for ever, and we moved there when my daughter was maybe 6, so they never accepted her, they were the typical mean girls.

A new girl started and my daughter made frineds with her, and then as soon as that happened the mean girls were like Hey Q22's daughter, come play with us. The new girl got really upset "please don't go with them, I'll be all alone" so she stayed with the new girl.

Next thing new girl is hanging with the mean girls, making fun of my daughter with them, and she's all alone again. She found it very hard to make friends and was very low in self esteem - oddly my son who is younger than her is the exact opposite, makes friends wherever he goes and is very popular.

I think it's how we start to think about ourselves, the value we assign to ourselves that determines whether we have friends or not.

Anyway - the good news.

My daughter is now 19 and is at university and has found it to be like I promised her it would be - as soon as you're in a place with people interested in the same things you are, working on the same things you are, all trying to achieve the same things you are - you'll make lots of great friends. Honestly it's true, she's the happiest I've ever seen her.

In between this when me and her mom split up we fell out, she didn't want anything to do with me and I think believed I didn't care about her. That was tough for both of us.

Now were back to normal and I'm so happy for her - I think you will find this too. I know it's painful now, but it won't always be this way.

Why do you feel that your parents don't love you?

Take care.

 

[disabledandhopeless]

I wish you peace whatever your decision is

 

[Ghost2211]

I'm sorry life has been so hard on you. I hope your journey is peaceful.

For what its worth i want you here and value you.

 

[Lone_Gray_Wolf]

Even though I'm new here I connected very much with your post. Please think and make sure u really want to do it. If that's the case I wish you a good travel, friend. Wish u luck in whatever your choice is. :)

 

[Joey]

I read back through some of your posts and you remind me of my daughter.

When she was at school she had no friends, and some of the kids there treated her really badly. Exactly the same things you talk about, she'd invite them to her parties but they'd rarely invite her to theirs, they'd hang out together and never hang out with her, even in the playground at school she'd be all by herself.

I think some of the girls (it's a smallish village) had known each other for ever, and we moved there when my daughter was maybe 6, so they never accepted her, they were the typical mean girls.

A new girl started and my daughter made frineds with her, and then as soon as that happened the mean girls were like Hey Q22's daughter, come play with us. The new girl got really upset "please don't go with them, I'll be all alone" so she stayed with the new girl.

Next thing new girl is hanging with the mean girls, making fun of my daughter with them, and she's all alone again. She found it very hard to make friends and was very low in self esteem - oddly my son who is younger than her is the exact opposite, makes friends wherever he goes and is very popular.

I think it's how we start to think about ourselves, the value we assign to ourselves that determines whether we have friends or not.

Anyway - the good news.

My daughter is now 19 and is at university and has found it to be like I promised her it would be - as soon as you're in a place with people interested in the same things you are, working on the same things you are, all trying to achieve the same things you are - you'll make lots of great friends. Honestly it's true, she's the happiest I've ever seen her.

In between this when me and her mom split up we fell out, she didn't want anything to do with me and I think believed I didn't care about her. That was tough for both of us.

Now were back to normal and I'm so happy for her - I think you will find this too. I know it's painful now, but it won't always be this way.

Why do you feel that your parents don't love you?

Take care.

That kind of reminds me of a story of someone that I used to know and she was similar to age. She CTB sadly and it seemed like she really didn't want to die.

 

[Wayfaerer]

I would say that you should've live or die based on what other people want but I assume it's too late for that so I hope it at least all goes smoothly for you.

 

[Lilmeowssi]

Hello you guys~

I have been part of this forum for almost a year now and I feel like my time to ctb has come. I don't actually want to die but nobody wants me to live. All I do is bother people and all I am is a burden to people. I don't deserve live.
I am thankful that I have had you guys who were always there for me, no matter what. In real life I have never had anyone to talk about this with. I am sorry to anyone who I have offended, bothered or hurt in this forum. I wish you all the best and I love every single one of you.
I prefer to not tell you about my method, since I might get hate for it and I am in such a vulnerable state right now that I could not handle it.
I am leaving tomorrow afternoon but please don't ban me yet. I want to be banned if I don't post anything until next week on Friday.
Maybe I'll finally get my much desired peace.. Love❤

Aaaaand I chickened out. I hate myself so much.

 

[Lone_Gray_Wolf]

Aaaaand I chickened out. I hate myself so much.

Try to don't feel too bad for that. Sometimes things don't go as planned. There will be a next chance.

 

[JAG_78]

Don't hate yourself for it. You said yourself that you don't want to die. So don't.
I don't know you but touched by what you wrote.
You decide don't let others reactions decide for you.
Wishing you the best.

 

[profoundexperience]

Aaaaand I chickened out.

That's completely normal.

I hate myself so much.

Also, completely normal!

 

[RedDEE]

Aaaaand I chickened out. I hate myself so much.

It's okay, buddy. I've chickened out of suicide at least 100 times. That ain't no lie.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

I don't actually want to die but nobody wants me to live.

I hope this doesn't sound too personal, but when you say that nobody wants you to live do you mean that somebody has said something to you, or do you mean that you just feel unwanted? If someone dislikes you then that doesn't necessarily mean that you are a bad person, and if they mistreat you for an unwarranted reason then that is on them not you.

If it's true that you don't really want to die then please don't. I'm not trying to dictate what you should/shouldn't do - it is your life to do with it as you want. But CTB'ing is a personal choice so you should only do it when you genuinely feel ready; not when other people coerce you into doing it. Ultimately though I hope whatever choice you make is the 1 which you feel is right for you, and brings you peace of course.

Also: judging from the responses on this thread you are well liked, so you must not be a burden like you think.

 

[less than]

If it's true that you don't really want to die then please don't. I'm not trying to dictate what you should/shouldn't do - it is your life to do with it as you want. But CTB'ing is a personal choice so you should only do it when you genuinely feel ready; not when other people coerce you into doing it. Ultimately though I hope whatever choice you make is the 1 which you feel is right for you, and brings you peace of course.

I couldn't say that better.

 

[Dead beat dad]

Hello you guys~

I have been part of this forum for almost a year now and I feel like my time to ctb has come. I don't actually want to die but nobody wants me to live. All I do is bother people and all I am is a burden to people. I don't deserve live.
I am thankful that I have had you guys who were always there for me, no matter what. In real life I have never had anyone to talk about this with. I am sorry to anyone who I have offended, bothered or hurt in this forum. I wish you all the best and I love every single one of you.
I prefer to not tell you about my method, since I might get hate for it and I am in such a vulnerable state right now that I could not handle it.
I am leaving tomorrow afternoon but please don't ban me yet. I want to be banned if I don't post anything until next week on Friday.
Maybe I'll finally get my much desired peace.. Love❤

I'm sorry you've come to this point friend. You've been here this long, you are stronger than you realise and you matter.
I hope you find what you are looking for friend and if this isn't your time, that is okay, there is no judgement here, only love, none have walk the journey you have walked, all I offer is love and wish you peace.
Love and respect friend
DBD

 

[TAW122]

I'm sorry to hear about how life is terrible for you and yes, this world is cruel. I hope you are able to find the peace you are looking for.

 

[Ghost2211]

There is nothing wrong with not going through with it. Unless you're fully ready and committed to the process then it is not a good thing to do.

I am happy to see you again, and I will be here if you need me and will give you goodbye hugs if you change your mind and wish to go. Hopefully we can all give you the comfort and community you need.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

Wishing you peace bro. I hope everything goes well. It's sad to see someone go as always.

 

[IBreathButNoMoreLive]

Aaaaand I chickened out. I hate myself so much.

Absolutely nothing wrong with that at all.
Glad you are here, hope to see you around. I'm new you could help me when I get lost around here !!!

 

[Smudgedlines]

I read back through some of your posts and you remind me of my daughter.

When she was at school she had no friends, and some of the kids there treated her really badly. Exactly the same things you talk about, she'd invite them to her parties but they'd rarely invite her to theirs, they'd hang out together and never hang out with her, even in the playground at school she'd be all by herself.

I think some of the girls (it's a smallish village) had known each other for ever, and we moved there when my daughter was maybe 6, so they never accepted her, they were the typical mean girls.

A new girl started and my daughter made frineds with her, and then as soon as that happened the mean girls were like Hey Q22's daughter, come play with us. The new girl got really upset "please don't go with them, I'll be all alone" so she stayed with the new girl.

Next thing new girl is hanging with the mean girls, making fun of my daughter with them, and she's all alone again. She found it very hard to make friends and was very low in self esteem - oddly my son who is younger than her is the exact opposite, makes friends wherever he goes and is very popular.

I think it's how we start to think about ourselves, the value we assign to ourselves that determines whether we have friends or not.

Anyway - the good news.

My daughter is now 19 and is at university and has found it to be like I promised her it would be - as soon as you're in a place with people interested in the same things you are, working on the same things you are, all trying to achieve the same things you are - you'll make lots of great friends. Honestly it's true, she's the happiest I've ever seen her.

In between this when me and her mom split up we fell out, she didn't want anything to do with me and I think believed I didn't care about her. That was tough for both of us.

Now were back to normal and I'm so happy for her - I think you will find this too. I know it's painful now, but it won't always be this way.

Why do you feel that your parents don't love you?

Take care.

My daughter went through this, and my eldest son, and my youngest. It's not our kids that have the problem it's the others. Ours are great.
I hate the social packs that kids form these days. When I was at school you made friends and they were still friends the next morning. Nowadays they go home and bitch and cat fight behind each other's backs on social media and by morning there is a whole new set of alliances to adjust to.
OP .... I'm glad you chickened out x