Help My girlfriend left me

[charlottewilts]

I don't know what to do. She was my everything. I used to be on SS every day until I met her.

It's my fault. Despite having her, I was still suicidal. I'm a heroin addict. I don't blame her for leaving me. She lasted a year and eight months, which is a record for relationships with me...

Paradoxically, I didn't want to go yet. I still don't want to, even though I feel more lost than I did before. It's because of the heroin. I want to stick around a bit more until even that becomes boring and not enough to ward off the ever present emptiness.

All I ask is, can someone who has lost their girlfriend or wife (or boyfriend/husband) and misses them talk with me. We could vent to each other and make time pass less painfully until we catch the bus.

I hope you're all well as can be and thank you for reading. Love, Charlotte

 

[...]

I know the feeling. I can't go on without her. I cannot function anymore. It is so painful to go through I would never wish it upon anyone. Sometimes I wish I never fell in love so I wouldn't have to go through what I am now.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I don't know what to do. She was my everything. I used to be on SS every day until I met her.

It's my fault. Despite having her, I was still suicidal. I'm a heroin addict. I don't blame her for leaving me. She lasted a year and a half, which is a record for relationships with me...

Paradoxically, I didn't want to go yet. I still don't want to, even though I feel more lost than I did before. It's because of the heroin. I want to stick around a bit more until even that becomes boring and not enough to ward off the ever present emptiness.

All I ask is, can someone who has lost their girlfriend or wife (or boyfriend/husband) and misses them talk with me. We could vent to each other and make time pass less painfully until we catch the bus.

I hope you're all well as can be and thank you for reading. Love, Charlotte

She was my muse and my reason for living… the color in my life…
Last night I was watching a television show and there was this couple being so gentle and nurturing with each other and I had to stop watching it… It was too painful…
It was the first and last time I have ever been deeply in love, entirely vulnerable and intimate…
When she left my life collapsed. I vaporized all my relationships with other people, my career, my financial situation… Now I'm just a zombie…
All day sleeping… Heading for the exit… Dragging my heels…

 

[Elegy]

Of course, Charlotte. I am here to talk with you. Everyone I love disappears into the foggy mist. I am almost an expert on this.
You're wondering how you will cope without her. And going through the; "It's All MY fault" phase, when the truth is... She was partly to blame.

Takes Two to Tango.
Two birds of a feather.

 

[healthrecovery]

Its a universal story a girl or gal walking out on you...you just have to get over it
Stop using heroin go use kratom and stop the habit

Ctb because someone broke up with you is weak AF
Ctbing itself is hard thats not whst i meant

 

[charlottewilts]

I know the feeling. I can't go on without her. I cannot function anymore. It is so painful to go through I would never wish it upon anyone. Sometimes I wish I never fell in love so I wouldn't have to go through what I am now.

I am very sorry to hear that. I am trying my best to pretend everything is normal, still messaging her even though she blocked me and the messages are not going through.

Please, if you need comfort, feel free to message me.

She was my muse and my reason for living… the color in my life…
Last night I was watching a television show and there was this couple being so gentle and nurturing with each other and I had to stop watching it… It was too painful…
It was the first and last time I have ever been deeply in love, entirely vulnerable and intimate…
When she left my life collapsed. I vaporized all my relationships with other people, my career, my financial situation… Now I'm just a zombie…
All day sleeping… Heading for the exit… Dragging my heels…

I know how you feel. Everything reminds me of her. But I try my best not to feel sad; best I can do is a numb feeling. We shared everything, I told her things I hadn't told anybody else, no romantic partner or friend. We were supposed to get married. Please, if you need someone to talk to, reach out to me. It is hellish being alone after being abandoned.

Of course, Charlotte. I am here to talk with you. Everyone I love disappears into the foggy mist. I am almost an expert on this.
You're wondering how you will cope without her. And going through the; "It's All MY fault" phase, when the truth is... She was partly to blame.

Takes Two to Tango.
Two birds of a feather.

Thank you dearly for your reply, Elegy. Unfortunately (or fortunately? I do not know...) it was entirely my fault, not hers. I shouldn't have done drugs in front of her. This was the straw that broke the camel's back. I told her once when I was high, when she asked me to choose between her and heroin, that I couldn't make the choice. Dating a drug addict is hard, so as I said, I do not blame her. However, feel free to send me a message if you need someone to talk to. We were entirely the same, to the last tiny detail, except the addiction.

Its a universal story a girl or gal walking out on you...you just have to get over it
Stop using heroin go use kratom and stop the habit

Ctb because someone broke up with you is weak AF
Ctbing itself is hard thats not whst i meant

I cannot stop using heroin. And I am not killing myself because she left me. I've been suicidal for years. Heroin is the only thing I have left... Even if kratom was available in my country, I couldn't. You can't know the feeling unless you've experienced it yourself. I pray you never go through withdrawal..


P.S. I am thinking of making a discord server for people who have been left by their partners. It wouldn't be affiliated with SS so it doesn't get deleted and banned, Please let me know if you're interested. Love, Charlotte

 

[Rational man]

You're in a dark space, but im living proof that with time, you can find healing. Its.hard to.see.but life.is.full of.twists and.turns. PEACE.

 

[miserableforever]

Its a universal story a girl or gal walking out on you...you just have to get over it
Stop using heroin go use kratom and stop the habit

Ctb because someone broke up with you is weak AF
Ctbing itself is hard thats not whst i meant

To me it seems very weak too, but we don't know how others feel cause their chemistry might be different from ours.
I have OCD. I cant leave the house sometimes cause of it. Yeah it's weak but it's my reality. Can't help that.
I guess for some human interaction means a lot.

 

[...]

To me it seems very weak too, but we don't know how others feel cause their chemistry might be different from ours.
I have OCD. I cant leave the house sometimes cause of it. Yeah it's weak but it's my reality. Can't help that.
I guess for some human interaction means a lot.

I'm too weak to do life on its own. I am very weak. I'm mentally ill after all. I live life through others. My happiness is met only by sharing moments with others. All I aspire for is a soulmate. Having that ripped away from me is - however pathetic - enough to make me depressed. Enough to trigger anhedonia. Enough to trigger constant anxiety and panic. Enough to trigger chronic tiredness. Enough to trigger a loss in appetite. Enough to ruin my life. Enough to make me CTB. It's just who I am. I wish I wasn't. I wish heartbreak didn't make me feel this way. But it does. So badly.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

It's torturous when everything reminds you of your ex… you Go over every minute you spent Together, every conversation, every little tiny sweet thing she did for you, and you wonder if you could've done something differently, if you would've paid more attention when she was reaching out to you all those times, you wonder what did you do wrong? U wonder why u didn't see it coming… And the only thing you have left are the memories… And you feel alone in the universe, Alone and abandoned. And you're angry at the universe for doing this to you. And so you want to hurt yourself, you want to embrace your own suffering… But you also realize that nobody cares… The universe does not care if you're starving yourself, if you're staying in bed all day, if you're burning all your bridges, You're making a statement to absolutely nobody… And that's even more upsetting… you think you might've hit rock bottom… But you're not even close… It can and probably will get so much worse… That's why you're here… To find a way to stop the pain and stop the downward spiral… There's really only one way at this point…

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I am a chronic alcoholic. Incurable. Also hopelessly addicted to tobacco. They're gonna bury me with my bottle and nail my coffin shut with Cigarettes. And as for my former fiancee... Vegetarian. Non-smoker. Saintly Choir girl. Her addiction, was being drawn like a moth to a flame. A candle burning at both ends. I have overdosed on GHB, and called her to say, "Baby I am seriously dying here from GHB/Vodka combo overdose. My nose is ice cold and I am shitting and puking all over the floor. But she already knew all that about me the first day we met. And still chose to marry me. So like I said. Takes 2 to Tango

Well, your life might be a total mess but you've clearly got some charisma going for you…

 

[Lady black]

I know it´s hard to loose your big love. So did I years ago and Ißm still not getting over it

 

[Quiet Desperation]

It's been more than three years and I still miss her every single day.

Ignore all the rude people trying to invalidate your feelings. What you feel matters and your pain is understandable and valid. Sorry that you are suffering too.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

It's been more than three years and I still miss her every single day.

Ignore all the rude people trying to invalidate your feelings. What you feel matters and your pain is understandable and valid. Sorry that you are suffering too.

Yeah I'm never going to get over this one. She was young and beautiful and intelligent and creative and maternal and professed her everlasting love. Fucked up in lots of ways definitely. But…
Left a massive void.

 

[NormaJeane]

I know how it feels when we lose someone we love very much - it is the worst pain, but over time we will lose everything and in the end we will lose our own life.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I know how it feels when we lose someone we love very much - it is the worst pain, but over time we will lose everything and in the end we will lose our own life.

Sooner rather than later if I can get my act together

 

[1Mazda16]

Sorry for your loss, friend. I hope you find what you're looking for on this site...

 

[nameeater]

I don't know what to do. She was my everything. I used to be on SS every day until I met her.

It's my fault. Despite having her, I was still suicidal. I'm a heroin addict. I don't blame her for leaving me. She lasted a year and eight months, which is a record for relationships with me...

Paradoxically, I didn't want to go yet. I still don't want to, even though I feel more lost than I did before. It's because of the heroin. I want to stick around a bit more until even that becomes boring and not enough to ward off the ever present emptiness.

All I ask is, can someone who has lost their girlfriend or wife (or boyfriend/husband) and misses them talk with me. We could vent to each other and make time pass less painfully until we catch the bus.

I hope you're all well as can be and thank you for reading. Love, Charlotte

i'm so, so sorry charlotte. losing someone while dealing with bpd is one of the hardest things in the world. it feels like everything is over and nothing matters anymore. my heart is truly with you in these times, please feel free to pm me if you'd ever like to vent or just talk about common interests just as a distraction. <3

 

[RappyMaster]

I've also broke up with my girlfriend, I told her so many things I was scared about, expressed my deepest emotions and tried to work things out but I just wasn't enough. It hasn't even been a month since we broke up and she's already in another relationship, we had a discussion about a guy that was always around her and I got scared that I was gonna get replaced by that guy, unfortunately that's what ended up happening.

I'm not sure how to feel, it's disorienting and it makes my head dizzy, I try to move on and I sometimes get it out of my head but at the end of the day I start crying because all my assumptions were true.

 

[Komm_Süsser_Tod]

I don't know what to do. She was my everything. I used to be on SS every day until I met her.

It's my fault. Despite having her, I was still suicidal. I'm a heroin addict. I don't blame her for leaving me. She lasted a year and eight months, which is a record for relationships with me...

Paradoxically, I didn't want to go yet. I still don't want to, even though I feel more lost than I did before. It's because of the heroin. I want to stick around a bit more until even that becomes boring and not enough to ward off the ever present emptiness.

All I ask is, can someone who has lost their girlfriend or wife (or boyfriend/husband) and misses them talk with me. We could vent to each other and make time pass less painfully until we catch the bus.

I hope you're all well as can be and thank you for reading. Love, Charlotte

Hi, I've not lost my girlfriend yet but I'm pretty sure I'm about to. I could use someone to talk to about this to identify if I'm in a toxic relationship or not. I fully know I'm too clingy but I still don't like the way she treats me.

 

[marinekiwi]

Hi, I've not lost my girlfriend yet but I'm pretty sure I'm about to. I could use someone to talk to about this to identify if I'm in a toxic relationship or not. I fully know I'm too clingy but I still don't like the way she treats me.

How does she treat you? Ignoring messages, avoiding dates?

 

[Rustysoupcan]

i lost my boyfriend of a year and several months on ctober 3rd. I still miss him desperately. like you, i was still suicidal when i was with him, and that ultimatley cost me the entire relationship. if you ever wanna talk im here, im always looking for new people to talk to.

 

[Elegy]

Well, your life might be a total mess but you've clearly got some charisma going for you…

More charm than charisma

 

[Deleted member 8975]

I lose everyone too. I'm trying to just accept it now and understand that that's just the order of things.

I'm so sorry you lost the love of your life <3 I'm sure she means everything to you and everything youre feeling is valid.

 

[bulljacket]

Sorry to hear OP and others. Wishing you peace and love.

 

[justastranger]

I hope you, and everyone else here that has commented about losing someone can find that other someone, and also get over that previous person. I know its sht right now, but you being a heroin addict is probably really hard to stop, so please don't blame yourself forever for this.