Venting My Gender Dysphoria Vents

[Liammm]

i want to take the knife from the kitchen and slit my wrists. Holy. Fucking. Shit. I'm literally a fat fucking ogre, I gained so much weight, have so much masculine features I'm starting to look like my dad FUCK.

i dont want to be a ducking man, but i feel like a God damn pervert too. I know I'll survive tonight, but i cant live this fucking life. Fuck masculinity fuck transphobia, fuck my fucking fucky life fuck me.

i fucking hate myself forever because i decided to marry. i will never get to transition, because i put myself in this fucking cage.

I'm fucking buying blades tomorrow and im fucking cutting i dont give a shit i dont care its been almost like 6 months but I CAN'T FUCKING TAKE IT. FUCK FUCK FUCK.


im wasting my youth. my life. im 23 i think but i wont be this young forever. I just feel like sobbing now. I wish i could spend one more night at my best friends house with the rest of the girls. i wish i could still hangout with them. i wish it wasn't weird when i try to make friends with other women. i just... i just want to be a woman. i dont care about that fucking agp or hsts shit, i would be fucking happy being ace for the rest of my damned life if i could just be a woman as i should have been.

i hope i dream tonight that i was a normal woman. Even if i just go to work in the dream. fuck masculinity, fuck this stupid penis, fuck being male.

 

[toxicjester]

Your pain sounds like my gf's and I'm so so sorry :(

I know gender dysphoria is really difficult to navigate and it's extremely overwhelming, I wish I could provide more comforting words but I'm not great at it :,)

If you do end up self harming try to do some harm reduction! Have some bandages n stuff on standby! Maybe something comforting you can do after the fact, or something

I hope your pain gets easier, or that at the very least you get a nice dream