My future method. Any improvements that can be made?

[ToilThenDie]

So my plan is decades in the future probably immediately after I retire. I want to basically dedicate my life to making money and then leave it all behind for the person/ people I care about most.

So I've decided on shotgun to the chest. I'll set the stock of the gun on some kind of tripod on my desk and anchor it down. The barrel will be sawed off and I'll hold the barrel firmly with my left hand pointed directly at my heart. I'll use a side by side 10 gauge(pulling both triggers simultaneously)with either buckshot or slugs and try to find some extra hot shells or just make them that way myself. My goal is to basically atomize/ hollow out my entire chest cavity and blow that portion of my spine out of the back of my torso. With my heart and lungs being turned to jelly death should be within seconds max. I'll have my note laminated so it doesn't get ruined with the remnants of my respiratory system and chunks of rib/ spine lol

I don't want to aim for my head because it just seems too brutal to me I guess haha. I've seen aftermath pictures, I hate living but I don't want to die looking like that. Any suggestions to improve my method? I'll have plenty of time to perfect it. The only thing I'm worried about is the spread if I use buckshot. The sawed off barrel should make the spread occur in my torso correct?
Also does anyone have a video of a side by side barrel break style shotgun shooting a ballistic torso at point blank? I can't seem to find one.

And one last thing this is my first post as I've recently found this forum. I've suffered with suicidal ideation since I became self aware. Even when I'm 'happy' with life and everything is going great I just feel the pull to end my life. It's always been this way and will continue as long as I live. To get to the point I guess I'm just thankful for this space to discuss suicide for those who suffer with it chronically. It doesn't 'get better' for a lot of us. If anything it gets worse. Hope everyone can find peace and happiness in their lives or in taking it

 

[DreamEnd]

Isnt to head less painful than to chest?

 

[lifewasawillowtv]

Don't quote me on this but if you shoot yourself in the chest and don't immediately die, isn't there a chance of you dying by drowning in your blood because it's a double circulatory system and the blood would build up in your lungs? Pretty sure I've heard of that happening before. But yeah, shooting yourself in the head isn't pretty either.

 

[ToilThenDie]

Don't quote me on this but if you shoot yourself in the chest and don't immediately die, isn't there a chance of you dying by drowning in your blood because it's a double circulatory system and the blood would build up in your lungs? Pretty sure I've heard of that happening before. But yeah, shooting yourself in the head isn't pretty either.

If all goes according to plan my chest will have an apple sized hole and my upper back will be non existent. By the time my brain registers the full extent of what just happened I will have bleed to death. If not a painful death is ok. Shotgun to the chest just calls out to me. I've dreamed about it and it almost even sexually arouses me to think about. Can't wait for the day

Isnt to head less painful than to chest?

Not too worried about pain

 

[the old man]

If its decades in the future then maybe a shotgun will look an old pirates cannon compared to today's 30mm ds3ob rapid fire cannons fitted to today's navel ships, you could be disintegrating yourself with some type of atomizer gun wish you the best of luck making lots of money to leave to those that you care about

 

[lifewasawillowtv]

If all goes according to plan my chest will have an apple sized hole and my upper back will be non existent. By the time my brain registers the full extent of what just happened I will have bleed to death. If not a painful death is ok. Shotgun to the chest just calls out to me. I've dreamed about it and it almost even sexually arouses me to think about. Can't wait for the day

Not too worried about pain

You seem to have really thought it through, I wish you luck

 

[ToilThenDie]

If its decades in the future then maybe a shotgun will look an old pirates cannon compared to today's 30mm ds3ob rapid fire cannons fitted to today's navel ships, you could be disintegrating yourself with some type of atomizer gun wish you the best of luck making lots of money to leave to those that you care about

Haha yeah that's a good point. They'll probably have vaporizers and shit by the time I'm ready. Idk though 30 sounds pretty good, right now sounds good even lol. I just can't die knowing I've left nothing behind. Thanks for the good wishes