Venting My Friend Laughed At My Attempt

[berd]

I was having lunch with my friend today, I haven't seen them in months so I was glad to see them again. They asked how I was doing, I knew I could tell them anything so I told them how I've been, I included my recent attempt (I didn't share it on here due to embarrassment and not feeling like I should) and they ended up laughing in my face. I thought it was a coping mechanism at first but it wasn't even a nervous laugh, it was as if they thought my attempt was the funniest thing they had ever heard. They would bring it up in every joke they'd make. It really tripped me out since I've known them for over 5 years. I had no one to talk to about this, so I'm just ranting on here.

 

[allesistgut]

i'm very sorry to hear they reacted like that and that you had to hear them talk about your attempt in that way. as if it's something for them to joke about!? that's so messed up. big hug to you.

 

[ameliacecelia]

That's fucked up, beyond wildly inappropriate and rude. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

 

[berd]

That's fucked up, beyond wildly inappropriate and rude. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

Yeah, it really took me aback. I'm still debating on confronting them or not just because I don't want to start anything.

 

[FuneralCry]

Some people are just so cruel and awful. That person sounds so horrible. People like that are not worth being around. I'm sorry that you had that experience. I wish you the best.

 

[.............]

This is legitimately fucked up, especially when it comes from someone you think you can trust. It's unfortunate proximity to someone makes some people think they can make really gross jokes. Have you considered speaking to them about this?

 

[Julgran]

I was having lunch with my friend today, I haven't seen them in months so I was glad to see them again. They asked how I was doing, I knew I could tell them anything so I told them how I've been, I included my recent attempt (I didn't share it on here due to embarrassment and not feeling like I should) and they ended up laughing in my face. I thought it was a coping mechanism at first but it wasn't even a nervous laugh, it was as if they thought my attempt was the funniest thing they had ever heard. They would bring it up in every joke they'd make. It really tripped me out since I've known them for over 5 years. I had no one to talk to about this, so I'm just ranting on here.

There's only one fault in your description of the events. That person is not your friend.... what a callous human being...

I hope that you feel that you receive more support from the members of this community

 

[rationaltake]

I'm sorry. That is so disappointing and hurtful.

 

[fatefulstillness]

That's so fucked up. It's disgusting how people can feel so comfortable with themselves they think they can mock someone's suffering. I'm so sorry you were treated that way. I hope you're feeling better now. Hugs

 

[berd]

This is legitimately fucked up, especially when it comes from someone you think you can trust. It's unfortunate proximity to someone makes some people think they can make really gross jokes. Have you considered speaking to them about this?

I've been thinking of confronting her about it, I just don't want to start anything between us.

 

[.............]

I've been thinking of confronting her about it, I just don't want to start anything between us.

Maybe try to approach it very gently. Tell her something like, "Hey I wanna talk about something you said that hurt me. I'm not mad at you, just really want to talk to you about it because I want to be honest and don't want a riff in our friendship ." Something like that?

 

[ameliacecelia]

Yeah, it really took me aback. I'm still debating on confronting them or not just because I don't want to start anything.

As others have said in different ways, I think you will be happier and healthier just letting go of this friendship. It may hurt and feel like a loss, but you may end up with more grief if you choose to keep them in your life (regardless of how much time you may have remaining)

 

[Rogue Proxy]

Time to dump that sack of shit into the nearest trash can! A real friend would never take any pleasure in your suffering. Unfortunately, most humans are sadistic, unempathetic garbage polluting this world.

 

[charlottewilts]

Hey um, other than this incident, how does this friend treat you?

I'm not trying to play devil's advocate here, but when I was younger and stupider, I used to make dumb jokes that really hurt people. I was not aware of my jokes being hurtful at all, I was just trying to be funny and make people laugh, and I would have really appreciated my friends telling me I was making them feel bad because I would've stopped immediately.

If your friend usually treats you well and this is an isolated incident, I would try talking with them to tell them how bad their treatment made you feel. Maybe they are also suicidal and they use humour to cope? Did you tell them while you were together that you were uncomfortable?

If they don't apologise and tell you stuff like "You're overreacting" or something to that effect, I would seriously rethink your friendship with that person. You deserve better than being treated like garbage, it's much better to be alone than in bad company.

 

[Crazy4u]

What an awful thing to joke about. People get rude sometimes and when you get offended, they say it is a joke. If she brings it up again, confront her or joke in a similar manner. You can also act stupid and say you don't understand, can you repeat,...etc until she feels uncomfortable

 

[berd]

Hey um, other than this incident, how does this friend treat you?

I'm not trying to play devil's advocate here, but when I was younger and stupider, I used to make dumb jokes that really hurt people. I was not aware of my jokes being hurtful at all, I was just trying to be funny and make people laugh, and I would have really appreciated my friends telling me I was making them feel bad because I would've stopped immediately.

If your friend usually treats you well and this is an isolated incident, I would try talking with them to tell them how bad their treatment made you feel. Maybe they are also suicidal and they use humour to cope? Did you tell them while you were together that you were uncomfortable?

If they don't apologise and tell you stuff like "You're overreacting" or something to that effect, I would seriously rethink your friendship with that person. You deserve better than being treated like garbage, it's much better to be alone than in bad company.

Our friendship started off with jokes but over the years it just formed into talking about either politics or ranting about things in life. They treat me pretty decently, I haven't talked to them about it yet since I haven't gained the courage to. I'll try catching up with them over things and see how they're doing when I see them again.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I like what charlottewilts is saying. It's possible that they can't handle that type of heaviness and deride you as a way of relating to you and diffusing the gravity of what you've told them.

I often find when I try to broach a difficult subject with others that they seem ill equipped to discuss it, and will instead look for ways to change the subject or play down what I'm trying to tell them. It's one of my greatest frustrations with people, especially when it comes to communicating the difficulties I face with my chronic illness.

 

[berd]

I like what charlottewilts is saying. It's possible that they can't handle that type of heaviness and deride you as a way of relating to you and diffusing the gravity of what you've told them.

I often find when I try to broach a difficult subject with others that they seem ill equipped to discuss it, and will instead look for ways to change the subject or play down what I'm trying to tell them. It's one of my greatest frustrations with people, especially when it comes to communicating the difficulties I face with my chronic illness.

Yeah, now that I'm looking back on it I should've put way more thought into it before telling them. It also annoys me when that happens too, I can't even word the amount of frustration I get from it.

 

[Quiet Desperation]

Sorry to hear that happened to you. Unfortunately it's hard to predict how some people react, even friends. I had a somewhat similar situation myself.

All I can suggest is try to come at it from a place of patience and forgiveness. They may not know how to deal as others have pointed out, inappropriate laughter can be a thing, and some people straight won't believe you. Happened to me. It's like a weird kind of denial. I reacted really, really badly and that was the end of that friendship.

If you talk to her I'd lead with how it made you feel rather than her motivations. I personally wouldn't give up on her yet unless she continues to be hurtful. Hope she understands how she hurt you and does something about it.

Edit: Sorry for necro, post was in sidebar and didn't notice.