Venting My friend is trying to get me sectioned. TW: SA

[halleyscomet]

I was hanging out with a friend because she needed some company, but I ended up having a pretty bad panic attack.

She asked why, and I didn't want to tell her but she kept badgering me so I eventually gave in.

If you've seen some of my recent posts, I was raped a few days ago. It was my own fault and I don't want to hear otherwise. I got drunk at 3am and went with a guy in his car.

I have full intentions of still being friends with him, I have this weird sense of love after what happened like some fucked up attachment. The thought of leaving him kills me.

She got pretty mad at me, she started yelling at me to cut him off and it made me panic even more. Due to this she wants to call our local services to put me under the mental health act.

I don't know what else to do but deny, I don't want to be sectioned and I don't want the police to know what happened.

I feel constantly anxious and sick and it just makes me want to go to him even more, I don't know what to do I love him.

I just want to die.

 

[Tesha]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I completely understand.

I've not read your recent posts, so I apologise if I say anything that inflames you.

As a rape victim myself, it's never the fault of the person who got raped. Ever.

If you're in the UK, there are plenty of charities that will just listen to you - they won't inform the police or pressurise you to report - and you're unlikely to be sectioned because of what you've been through. If you feel it would help, start with somewhere like Rape Crisis. This is where I went to get information about what might be available to me (albeit my rapes were historic and not recent).

I spent 35 years pretending it hadn't happened to me - but it had and I wish I sought advice and help sooner than I did.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

This person does not sound like a good friend. You're suffering and have just gone through an extremely traumatic event, and their role should be to support and guide you towards the support you desire. Not what they want, or what they think is the correct thing to do, but what YOU feel is best for your situation once you've identified what that is. A good friend will be able to take a step back and realize that.

I think it's hard for people to realize how deep attachment can paradoxically lie with someone who has also abused you. Feelings are complex and reality is often not black and white. It can take time before you're able to come to terms with what happened, and to feel like you can separate from your abuser without heartbreak. I completely understand it, as someone who has been though similar situations, it's not easy.

Like Tesha said, a charity focused on SA and rape would be able to provide you with better guidance about if there are resources available in your area, even if it's just a support group or a clinic that deals with PTSD. I don't think people realize how traumatic dealing with the police is in sexual abuse cases, and you absolutely do not have to contact them if you don't want to. Your friend saying you need to be sectioned over this is being completely ridiculous, because no one is obligated to report anything if they don't want to, and you are entitled to help and support regardless if you wanna pursue that route or not.

Wishing you all the best.