My friend has given me hope again but I'm scared

[snowlance]

Sorry for anyone who reads my ramblings, im high, forgive me
I'm making plans with my friend I've known for 5 years to move in together soon. I cant work a normal job due to my anxiety but I can do uber and lyft. Just have to take breaks after having big groups. Theres a big city near her and i feel like I could make half the rent maybe. Im still trying to get on disability though, but that could take 3-5 years. But i could move in with her early and do uber/lyft. But what if my anxiety and panic attacks, or depression get worse? I wouldnt be able to contribute to rent and idk what would happen. Maybe i should be safe and say i need to wait until im on disability? Maybe i can keep trying to get on disability and work with my attorney online. Idk what do i do? What if things fail and my illness gets worse do I continue the cycle over again?
We're talking about transitioning together and she's doing the injection and I said I couldn't do it because I'm deathly afraid of needles. She said she could do the injections for me each month which kinda made me a bit happy.

 

[strawberry_lemons]

talk through it all with her, tell her what your worried about but if you think youll be happy and have a reasonble belilef its sustainable, go ahead. happiness is something we all deserve, i hope you find every lasy bit of it <3

 

[snowlance]

I told her everything

 

[suicidestyle]

how did it go?

 

[omarofficial10]

I hope everything goes well for you!

 

[Kompass]

I told her everything

Wishing you best of Luck <3

 

[snowlance]

She hasn't responded yet, I'll update when she does.
It's a bit weird because I've gotten so used to life just being one bad thing after another, a never ending cycle of getting my hopes up and life just crushing them all down again and I dont want to get my hopes up again.
It's like I'm having an internal battle with myself
I dont wanna get hurt again

 

[Umi__]

View attachment 119416
She hasn't responded yet, I'll update when she does.
It's a bit weird because I've gotten so used to life just being one bad thing after another, a never ending cycle of getting my hopes up and life just crushing them all down again and I dont want to get my hopes up again.
It's like I'm having an internal battle with myself
I dont wanna get hurt again

pls give us a update when u available

 

[rosenwasser]

You're very brave telling her that. I'm thinking about telling the truth to a friend as well but I don't have the guts yet.
Please update us when you're availible, I'm hoping for an empathetic and understanding response for you.

 

[snowlance]

I will keep you all updated. Sometimes she takes a bit to respond because she streams and works. I will update as soon as she responds. We both have similar problems with mental health and her dad who she's living with is really abusive so this would help both of us.

 

[LonelyKitten]

I'm thinking, if your conditions worsen to the point they'd disrupt/take away your ability to work - that in theory should make it easier/be a good argument for applying for disability?

Maybe I'm too optimistic.
But it sounds like a good and kind offer from your friend.

I wish you the best

 

[snowlance]

I'm thinking, if your conditions worsen to the point they'd disrupt/take away your ability to work - that in theory should make it easier/be a good argument for applying for disability?

Maybe I'm too optimistic.
But it sounds like a good and kind offer from your friend.

I wish you the best

This is true but disability can take sometimes 3 years to process, and I dont want my friend to have to pay rent and everything during that time.
It sucks cuz the more you try to make things work the less likely you're gonna get disability but the more you do nothing the more likely it is
It's so backwards and bleh

 

[Amidaa]

i dunno why but i find this kinda wholesome you doing everything you can dispaise having a troublesome time with yourself. i'm pretty sure ib you got a great friend they would understand and be supportive. just remeber to communicate very well with each other. i do wish you the best and hope everything goes well.

 

[snowlance]

i dunno why but i find this kinda wholesome you doing everything you can dispaise having a troublesome time with yourself. i'm pretty sure ib you got a great friend they would understand and be supportive. just remeber to communicate very well with each other. i do wish you the best and hope everything goes well.

Thank you, my friend has been the most supportive person in my life so getting away from family and being with them feels like the next big step. I feel like I'll finally be able to recover ^^

 

[ChronicallyCynical]

I wish you all the best in resolving your living, transitioning, and financial situation. I'm glad you have someone else to go through that with, hopefully, it works out.

 

[snowlance]

Update: I love my friend but I don't think she understands what I'm saying lol
She should get it now xd will update when she replies