my first thread, living in Saudi Arabia is so awful I can't handle it anymore

[unhealthylonelyfrea]

being a saudi atheist who lives in a strict religious family is so painful to me its sucking the life out of me, I have to pretend to pray 5 times a day, fast in ramadan(currently fasting), can't do anything in life it made me so depressed I can't take it anymore, I look so tired and miserable and I can't even go outside bc im ashamed of my looks, self negation and depression and im also an autistic its so over for me, I wish a was normie muslim who gets along with people, but pretending to be something I don't is so exhausting, I can't pray for 30 mins 5x a day for something I don't believe in its just awful
its hopeless country

 

[chr74]

sorry to hear about your situation i hope there is some way things can improve for you

 

[unhealthylonelyfrea]

sorry to hear about your situation i hope there is some way things can improve for you

thanks mate, I hope it gets better

 

[Heavenbound]

I'm so sorry you have to live this way. It is a very unfair nation. Can you get to UAE?

 

[unhealthylonelyfrea]

I'm so sorry you have to live this way. It is a very unfair nation. Can you get to UAE

I appreciate that
yes I can, but I am still in my second year of university, so probably after graduation I'll start looking for a job outside this country, UAE is good enough but I don't know, I feel shameful to say I stopped trying to fix my situation long ago, so I am not sure if im gonna leave

 

[Heavenbound]

Whatever you do decide, I hope you will find peace.

 

[ChildrensITV]

You don't need to catch the bus. You need to catch a plane. Do not kill yourself when immigration is your solution. Please put your focus into leaving SA, not Earth.

 

[Linda]

being a saudi atheist who lives in a strict religious family is so painful to me its sucking the life out of me, I have to pretend to pray 5 times a day, fast in ramadan(currently fasting), can't do anything in life it made me so depressed I can't take it anymore, I look so tired and miserable and I can't even go outside bc im ashamed of my looks, self negation and depression and im also an autistic its so over for me, I wish a was normie muslim who gets along with people, but pretending to be something I don't is so exhausting, I can't pray for 30 mins 5x a day for something I don't believe in its just awful
its hopeless country

I worked in Kuwait for several years. Kuwait is a lot easier than Saudi, but it is still a conservative muslim country, so I have some idea how you feel. The advice you need has already been posted by other people: complete your studies and then get out of the country. I would add that in the meantime you should work hard and try to get as good a degree as you can, because that will make finding employment elsewhere easier. The problem is Saudi, not you, and ctb is not the solution.

 

[RedDoor]

I can only imagine how hard it is to do these things especially when you don't believe in it.

 

[unhealthylonelyfrea]

I can only imagine how hard it is to do these things especially when you don't believe in it.

ikrr :(

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be really horrible and tiring being trapped in that situation that you hate, life certainly is so unnecessarily cruel but anyway I wish you the best.

 

[Eternal Oblivion]

Sorry you are suffering, I'd really hate to live in any muslim country, for me this is more a desiese then a religion. As the others said, get the hell out of there.

On a side note, I'm glad that despite all the doctrination, there are still atheists there.

 

[unhealthylonelyfrea]

thank you all for your replies I really appreciate that a lot

 

[Disaster]

I hope you will find a way to find your life better, but no judgement if you won't.

 

[Hehe_ducks]

Ah it sucks seeing another person in a similar situation, also from Saudi here, queer, atheist and autistic man it suckssssss, and the way people talk about us like we aren't human is so frustrating, living in here is like being fed poison every single second of the day and pretending to be ok with it while it hollows you out