My first post

[itchingtoend]

Hello!
I have my account (2nd attempt) but have been reading through this site for months.
I was involuntarily committed earlier this year. While in the hospital my husband disposed of my only means of ending my life (a whole bottle of old morphine pills). I've been reading through methods and think SN is the way to go.
I've done a lot of searches online but can't seem to find a source (I'm in the USA). I am scared of a welfare check.
I just don't want to mess it up, survive, and be a burden to my family.
Thanks for this community. It's a relief to be able to "talk" with people who understand and don't react with action. These thoughts and plans need to be discussed.
Best to you all.

 

[LighthouseHermit]

Welcome to the forum. Hope you can find all the information you are looking for. I wish you peace

 

[nobodycaresaboutme]

Welcome to Sasu, and thank you for kind words! I'm sorry your life has come to the point where this site is needed.
These days there are few threads of welfare check experiences, so the SN sources members recently use don't look compromised. Even if unluckily officers visit you, you can prepare some excuses or justifications before this happens. As for the SN source itself, you need to find it yourself. I wish you the best.

How to Explain Having SN

As per @opheliaoveragain's encouragement, here are the two main "excuses" I keep ready for why I have SN, in case I ever need to explain it. They're both pretty believable and rooted in real, legal uses of the chemical. Meat Curing SN is a legit, common ingredient in curing meats—think...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[darksouls]

you are welcome

 

[FuneralCry]

Trying to cease existing going wrong and leading to even more suffering is also what I fear, I find it so terrifying how such can happen, all I want is to be gone and finally be free from this torturous existence, I always suffer from how there isn't the option to just painlessly cease existing in peace and never suffer again, I hope you find the relief you search for, I wish you the best.

 

[itchingtoend]

Welcome to Sasu, and thank you for kind words! I'm sorry your life has come to the point where this site is needed.
These days there are few threads of welfare check experiences, so the SN sources members recently use don't look compromised. Even if unluckily officers visit you, you can prepare some excuses or justifications before this happens. As for the SN source itself, you need to find it yourself. I wish you the best.

How to Explain Having SN

As per @opheliaoveragain's encouragement, here are the two main "excuses" I keep ready for why I have SN, in case I ever need to explain it. They're both pretty believable and rooted in real, legal uses of the chemical. Meat Curing SN is a legit, common ingredient in curing meats—think...

sanctioned-suicide.net

This is helpful, thank you. I am a photography so they would never know I don't have a darkroom in my basement. I could sell that!

 

[itchingtoend]

Trying to cease existing going wrong and leading to even more suffering is also what I fear, I find it so terrifying how such can happen, all I want is to be gone and finally be free from this torturous existence, I always suffer from how there isn't the option to just painlessly cease existing in peace and never suffer again, I hope you find the relief you search for, I wish you the best.

Thanks for sharing similar fears. I looked into Switzerland as it would be peaceful, painless, and successful but it's very expensive and complicated in its own ways, obviously.