My first and last post.

[ming]

Hello everyone,

This is my first time posting here and hopefully my last. I've been suicidal for about three years now, had my ups and downs, but more down than up. There was a time things got a little better, but as always the happiness is only temporary. I found this forum and it taught me a lot of things, so I have decided to end it all. A part of me is scared, and worried about what will happen afterwards, to my friends, family, etc. However, I know they will eventually heal as time goes by. If I continue living, I know my miserableness will continue. I don't wanna wait my whole life for death, I'd rather just do it myself.
I decided to go with the carbon monoxide method since I don't like pain. I have most of the materials prepared and tommorow I plan on driving out to a secluded part of the forest and do it in my car. If I survive, I'll simply go back to my hotel room and overdose on the metoprolol that I have. The latter method seems like it'll hurt, but I know it'll do the job. I hope that the afterlife is as good as I imagined. If I don't post again, then it means I was successful. I'm sad to go, but at the same time I feel like it's the only thing I can do to be at peace. Life sucks ass, and i'll die alone either way.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

i'm sorry life has brought you here. i hope your journey is peaceful and goes well. best wishes.

 

[Deathbydemo]

I'm really sorry to hear you're leaving us so soon, but I hope you have made peace with your decision and that you're sure. It would have been lovely to get to know you. Sending love, peace and calm thoughts.

 

[ming]

i'm sorry life has brought you here. i hope your journey is peaceful and goes well. best wishes.

Thank you :) I'm still thankful for all the good things despite everything

I'm really sorry to hear you're leaving us so soon, but I hope you have made peace with your decision and that you're sure. It would have been lovely to get to know you. Sending love, peace and calm thoughts. ❤

I'm sure it would have been lovely to know you and everyone else here as well Hopefully we'll reach true happiness someday. Thank you.

 

[OnlyTheWind]

Hope your first attempt is fortunate and your passing swift. See you someday. Goodbye.

 

[Taki]

Much respect for, and yes envy of, your clarity.

 

[ming]

Hope your first attempt is fortunate and your passing swift. See you someday. Goodbye.

Thank you Never thought I would be in this situation but life is truly unpredictable.

Much respect for, and yes envy of, your clarity.

It took many nights of agonizing thoughts to have the answer become clear, but now I've accepted it. I hope the same can happen to you.

 

[Brackenshire]

A peaceful journey friend

 

[muffin222]

I'm so sorry it's come to this. As long as you're 100% sure of your decision, I wish you nothing but peace and a swift transition to the other side

 

[color_me_gone]

Hi @ming
Sad that you are leaving us so soon.
I hope your CO does the job, so you don't have to experience any pain.
I don't know much about CO, but doing it in your car in a remote place sounds like a good idea.
Less chance of getting interrupted, and you will not put anyone else in jeopardy.
Safe travels, dear one.
Edited: Please know if your survival instinct gets the best of you, we will always look forward to hearing from you again!!!

 

[FarAcrossTheWater]

Hey Ming, Life is harsh but I hope you find peace one way or another. Not all journeys have to be conventional.