Venting My family sucks and I don't have one anymore I'm done

[Livingvsdying25]

Honestly I don't feel like writing the details but just many things... yeah final straw for me was my Dad being insensitive AGAIN about my suicidality. Calling me a cunt bc I got upset with him, him telling my brother despite this being a big thing I've told/asked him mot to do. Them both minimizing it bc "it was his birthday" (he doesn't even care about b-days and now that I think about it they've treated me like garbage/triggered me on my b-days so I dunno why that matters) my father is 60 now he needs to grow the fuck up and not at my expense.

Im done. Family is shit and im not sacrificing the peace in my last moment's for em.

Haaa I'm just taking it easy this week. Low on cash till weekend. Cooking with what I got here... Not doing much or engaged in much. Tryna find a game to like play. I don't feel like engaging much with anyone anyway.

One of my worker's is off right now. So her replacement is bring very kind and "hopeful" to support. It doesn't make me feel any better bc she really will just realize thattttt I'm pretty hopeless.

Im just tired/over the cycle of suicidal amd not. Fighting for bits of life. I would like to try for N... just the thought of reslly
really dying as usual brings me peace. I am ready to give up. I welcome it. So much messages in life tell me to feel bad for feeling like I wanna CTB

But eh... anyway semi vent/update

 

[FuneralCry]

Some people are just so cruel. I'm sorry you have had to deal with people like that. I know that it is hard to carry on when you are tired of everything, the thought of no longer existing also brings me peace. I just want to peacefully pass away and be free from all suffering. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.

 

[S like suicide]

My family sucks too...

 

[NullifiedExistence]

I'm 39 and all my family that is not assholes and gave even the tiniest shit are dead. Mother, father, both grandmothers, and grandfathers. Both my sisters are too much trouble. One is nuts and the other is a greedy bitch. My ex's family was the same. The only person I could ever count on was my girlfriend of 15 years and I was all she really had left. I found out this year she was cheating on me with 2 people. I have zero real friends because I gravitated away from them and towards my ex. Many were female and my ex was a bit possessive and had trust issues. I'm the type of guy who can talk to women easier So I willingly and happily cut them out of my life for the relationship. She didn't even tell me I had to. I wanted her to trust me. I don't care to get onto a dating app and find anyone else. So I feel your pain. If your family is that much trouble and you don't need them financially or for help. Then I would not bother.

It sucks your family is also so much trouble

 

[Livingvsdying25]

Honestly I don't feel like writing the details but just many things... yeah final straw for me was my Dad being insensitive AGAIN about my suicidality. Calling me a cunt bc I got upset with him, him telling my brother despite this being a big thing I've told/asked him mot to do. Them both minimizing it bc "it was his birthday" (he doesn't even care about b-days and now that I think about it they've treated me like garbage/triggered me on my b-days so I dunno why that matters) my father is 60 now he needs to grow the fuck up and not at my expense.

Im done. Family is shit and im not sacrificing the peace in my last moment's for em.

Haaa I'm just taking it easy this week. Low on cash till weekend. Cooking with what I got here... Not doing much or engaged in much. Tryna find a game to like play. I don't feel like engaging much with anyone anyway.

One of my worker's is off right now. So her replacement is bring very kind and "hopeful" to support. It doesn't make me feel any better bc she really will just realize thattttt I'm pretty hopeless.

Im just tired/over the cycle of suicidal amd not. Fighting for bits of life. I would like to try for N... just the thought of reslly
really dying as usual brings me peace. I am ready to give up. I welcome it. So much messages in life tell me to feel bad for feeling like I wanna CTB

But eh... anyway semi vent/update

My Dad tryna call me but I'm just dlne like what is there to say or talk about?

Fuck being triggered. Fuck having my feelings constantly minimized.

Fuck having my every
everything be messed up by em. My body temp
temperature has just BARLY started to be able to self regulate last few days. Tuesday night was fucking unnecessary.

Ugh srry for all cursing it's just like why? Why call back? What are they giving me??

I'd rather be alone than around toxic. I've had their half ass support all my life and im letting go bc more damage than good.

 

[hungry_ghost]

Toxic families are the worst, especially when you're stuck living with them because you've got no where else to go.

Even basic conversations are incredibly taxing because all dialogue is riddled with passive-aggression and re-living traumatic patterns.

 

[StrawberryGuy]

My best friend passed away in the middle of last year, since then my life has just ended. It's hard to wake up in the morning, it's hard to eat, it's hard to work, it's hard to sleep... It's hard to go on as normal as I used to be. I was already a bit melancholy but I knew how to control myself, but after this experience of extreme pain I just feel lost. I didn't really know what pain was before that.

Where I thought I would have support is where I didn't: Family and false friends.
They don't understand what's going on with my mind, they think it's something I can just get rid of when I feel like it. They say all the time that I must be "strong", that this is "bullshit", that she was a ******* and that if she didn't do it now she would later. I've heard horrible things from people who claim to love me.

I'm trying day after day, I spend some sleepless nights thinking of ways to end it all but I still haven't made up my mind