My family is realizing I am a piece of shit...

[simpler-fy]

Maybe some of you have been there. Explaining your flaws and your unwillingness to cope with them - and that for whatever reason, you are a piece of shit. Just about every time this is denied. "you're not a piece of shit" they'll say.

My shittiness is starting to bleed through as my family tries to help me more and I lash out. I'm determined to die no matter how incredible any potential solution may seem. It is fleeting and fraught with stress and ordeals. They really don't want me to kill myself but honestly I'm just not willing to deal with this day to day shit just so they can have me entertain them for a few hours a week.
I think they're beginning to see who I really am. At my core I'm lazy, selfish, spoiled, stubborn, difficult, whiny, narcissistic, cruel, and unempathetic. Why? I'm a piece of shit. I don't like it either. Don't worry though, this piece of shit's gonna scoop himself.

so how bout you. Are you a piece of shit?

 

[toseeyousmile]

Yeah I wouldn't say I'm much different. I haven't much drive in life and have failed in a lot of things I've attempted and simply don't belong in the system, only now I realize the appeal and point of integrating myself into the system while I was in high school or middle school so that maybe I'd be integrated and didn't turn out to be an error in the system. Unlucky, I've failed those around me and those who would rely on me and this failure and guilt are what I carry.

 

[Salvation_]

I've stopped having motivation for things years ago, and I'm still young. I doubt anything is going to change in 5 years. 2 years ago, I thought I'd be out of the slump. 2 years later, I'm still failing college and I don't even have a good enough answer outside of "I'm lazy" and "I'm dumb" and even "I'm worthless". I feel numb to the consequences my suicide will unleash, which does make me feel like a piece of shit. But when you don't care anymore, does any of it matter?

 

[Poor Stargazer]

Im probably a piece of shit too but i have also come to realize that all of the best people on the planet are broken, bruised and scarred. Im not sure about the exact ammount but i suspect that the majority of the population, at least in the US either should be or is on some sort of anti-depressant medication. I believe it says more about our society than it does humans who have the unfortunate luck to have been born. Imo the real pieces of shit are the people who can be ok or at least pretend they are ok living on Earth with all of the shit going on. Living in reality hurts!

 

[almaranthine]

Yeah, I suck as a person. I don't have any useful life skills. The only things I'm relatively good at are artistic/creative and pointless in the grand scheme. I have not been able to form any lasting relationships or friendships with people over the course of my life. The only people that check in on me are family members who have long accepted that I'm a disappointment and only pity me I suspect. I have no sense of identity whatsoever if I don't have a job, and the only jobs I have ever been able to get are entry level retail positions. I've never been promoted for anything, even if I was qualified. At 27, I am a legitimate failure of a human being.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think sometimes family (especially parents) don't want to see that we might have mental problems/severe character deficiencies because maybe they feel like it reflects badly on them. I think sometimes people see what they want to see.

Yes, I have many of the same flaws- lazy, stubborn, spoilt, selfish. I don't want to make the effort to change though. It all seems pointless.

To try and put it briefly, my Mum died when I was 3 of skin cancer. The useless doctor misdiagnosed a mole on her arm as just an aggrevated mole. My parents were trying for children at the time (they were told it was a medical impossibility... if only...) When the mole had gotten worse and she was being sick in the mornings, the doctor finally referred her to a specialist and also confirmed that she was pregnant.

She held off chemotherapy because it would have killed me. My Dad has tried to reassure me that the cancer had taken so much of a hold by then, that the chemo would only have extended her life by a few months- not saved it. Plus, I know it was her/their choice. Still, a part of me always feels like she gave her life for mine. It's devastating because she loved life and I hate it. It just feels like such a waste.

It's always been such a leveller really. I don't remember her but everyone says what a wonderful person my Mum was (I don't think they're just being nice because she's dead) and she was just snuffed out- like countless others. Kind of makes a mockery of everything really.

 

[Burner1234]

I know my family is severely disappointed in me, I see it every time I talk to them. I'm pretty much viewed as wasted potential. At one point I was the entrepreneurial type risk taker trying to get ahead, but it never worked out. Pretty much a cycle of career attempts and failures has taken a toll on everything. One of the worst aspects is I barely have any energy left to try again which only exacerbates the situation. It sucks.

 

[DarkNearDeath]

;(

 

[Altvtysp]

Maybe some of you have been there. Explaining your flaws and your unwillingness to cope with them - and that for whatever reason, you are a piece of shit. Just about every time this is denied. "you're not a piece of shit" they'll say.

My shittiness is starting to bleed through as my family tries to help me more and I lash out. I'm determined to die no matter how incredible any potential solution may seem. It is fleeting and fraught with stress and ordeals. They really don't want me to kill myself but honestly I'm just not willing to deal with this day to day shit just so they can have me entertain them for a few hours a week.
I think they're beginning to see who I really am. At my core I'm lazy, selfish, spoiled, stubborn, difficult, whiny, narcissistic, cruel, and unempathetic. Why? I'm a piece of shit. I don't like it either. Don't worry though, this piece of shit's gonna scoop himself.

so how bout you. Are you a piece of shit?

"At my core I'm lazy, selfish, spoiled, stubborn, difficult, whiny, narcissistic, cruel, and unempathetic."
Bravo you pretty much summed up everyone but especially people who are suicidal. Those of us who want to "check out" are particularly big pieces of shit. In my "quest" to not live any longer I disregard the feelings and concerns of everyone who might even slightly care about me and end up harming them immensely. There is no avoiding this as we "transition" to the "other side". Friends and family are going to get hurt and it's best to accept that as part of being free from and of life.

 

[makethepainstop]

Are you kidding? Hell, I am disappointed in my family, far more than they are disappointed with me.

 

[A simple aid]

Maybe some of you have been there. Explaining your flaws and your unwillingness to cope with them - and that for whatever reason, you are a piece of shit. Just about every time this is denied. "you're not a piece of shit" they'll say.

My shittiness is starting to bleed through as my family tries to help me more and I lash out. I'm determined to die no matter how incredible any potential solution may seem. It is fleeting and fraught with stress and ordeals. They really don't want me to kill myself but honestly I'm just not willing to deal with this day to day shit just so they can have me entertain them for a few hours a week.
I think they're beginning to see who I really am. At my core I'm lazy, selfish, spoiled, stubborn, difficult, whiny, narcissistic, cruel, and unempathetic. Why? I'm a piece of shit. I don't like it either. Don't worry though, this piece of shit's gonna scoop himself.

so how bout you. Are you a piece of shit?

very comedic and funny....i agree with the "they want you to entertain them a bit".....and i have about damn near the same personality as you excluding the whiny....very funny how you were like youll scoop yourself up....

But to those on the site ....we all unanimously agree the world is bad.....heck even animals left on their own are suffering.......but wallowing in the oh so sweet void of emptiness and misery wont do much.....and like a joke many of you realise that its quite difficult to not only leave this place but also to the rare few who are able.... the means to leave this world become increasingly scarce....for every death by a mans own hand those who are against such beliefs strengthen resistance even more......truth be told theres no difference between you or the people enjoying life....they simply have more pleasure and less to complain about....however if you reverse roles and are honest....youd both be doing the same thing.....the problem isnt the world....the problem is humans.....the solution may seem like fleeing the world( to those whove failed multiple times....not the successful) .....but that isnt it...the problem is humans....and changing human nature is not likely ...however the same way society can force you to believe you are a failure for failing in college...is the same way it can make you believe you are amazing for enduring life as long as you can.....some of you sit in chairs and although not as comfortable can manage the feel....why...because its not that bad....its like death....neutral no gain or loss....the problem will forever remain unless people like you do something about it.....no body having enjoyed life will understand its flaws with the depth some of you have....why then do you think it is wiser for such people to determine the flow of society.....i repeat why.....we always say why bring children into this world....but i say does the death of humaninty bring greater profit than nothing?.....why not have these kids enjoy love comfort care etc....pluses rather than neutrality