Venting my family gave up on me

[willitpass]

my dad has supported me through everything. he's been with me through every hospitalization and ned adjustments and panic attacks. but these past few months he's been showing that he's at the end of his rope, he gets frustrated more easily and will tell me "just stop" when i'm unable to do something or am having a panic attack. today i am simply too emotionally exhausted to get out of bed. i'm supposed to have class but i just can't bring myself to go. he was trying to encourage me to go and tell me it's a waste of money to miss it, but i just told him i have a terrible headache. eventually he told me "i can't do this anymore. i have tried everything in my power to help you but it always seems to be one crisis after another with you: i can't do this"

luckily for him he won't have to for much longer

 

[KClown]

All people are same, some just tolerate you for longer periods of time, simply because they are your "family".
Just like anywhere in the world, the less you contrinute, the less you get.

Its extremely unfortunate that our pathetic human body reacts to such realities with "feelings", which brings so much pain and misery to us and our surroundings.

I am not fully informed of your situation, but would advise not to take your father's actions on personal note. He did what most "normal" people would eventually do.

Wish you get better Veteran.

 

[NeverGoodEnuff]

Is it possible your dad has tried everything he knows and maybe feels like a failure? He thinks he has failed his child and as a parent, I know how that feels. The guilt of that feeling of failure, the frustration of not being able to help, pushes me to want to CTB myself.

He has supported you the best he can. His recent response was certainly not the best but he is human and he has shown compassion in the past, right? Maybe that outweighs his frustration now? If he has been like this a lot in the past, no, not helpful.

It is very difficult for a "normal" person to truly understand.

 

[willitpass]

Is it possible your dad has tried everything he knows and maybe feels like a failure? He thinks he has failed his child and as a parent, I know how that feels. The guilt of that feeling of failure, the frustration of not being able to help, pushes me to want to CTB myself.

He has supported you the best he can. His recent response was certainly not the best but he is human and he has shown compassion in the past, right? Maybe that outweighs his frustration now? If he has been like this a lot in the past, no, not helpful.

It is very difficult for a "normal" person to truly understand.

i do not at all blame him for the response. he's told me before that he feels so guilty that he can't help me. i know his response is out of desperation and frustration at the situation and not necessarily at me. but it also just makes me realize that me being alive is just straining my family. i know they will be devestated by my death and may never get over it, however i feel like some parts of them will be relieved that they are not longer fighting this demon along side me. they will no longer be worried when my next relapse is or when i will end up in the hospital again. i know this may be a warped thought but i feel like they will be relieved at least in a small part of their mind

 

[NeverGoodEnuff]

I absolutely understand what you mean. Why does it always have to be this difficult? Damn.

 

[willitpass]

I absolutely understand what you mean. Why does it always have to be this difficult? Damn.

i wish there were an easy answer. this is probably my mental illness speaking, but that is why i'm choosing to ctb, so they no longer have to live with the unknowns and uncertainty of my illness and can begin to cope with something that will not change