attheendofthenight_
Member
- Apr 30, 2026
- 12
I get so triggered by my best friend and I feel awful about it. If she doesn't eat and I did, I want to die. It makes me feel so fat and disgusting and it makes me evil. I should be a better person but I'm not. This eating disorder has always ruined our friendship and always causes fights bc we both suffer from them but she's always been sicker than me. I hate feeling like I need to compete with her. I don't want to be fat. She's so much skinnier than me and if I eat and she doesn't then I'm so big and disgusting. I just want to be as small as her. I feel like a really awful friend and we always end up fighting because of something. I cancelled hanging out with my bf just so I could spend time with her to try and make her feel better but idk what I can do. She cried to me last night about purging and all I could think about was how she was sm sicker than me and I'll never be skinny. I really am terrible and I don't know how to make myself better bc I don't wanna recover.
