Venting My doctor told me to take walks a month ago, it didn't do shit for my depression and anxiety, what should I tell her?

[KillingPain267]

I have depression and anxiety and am on useless stupid meds that help my sleep quality at most. Last appointment my doctor said "I seem better" from the meds and therefore should start taking walks to slowly get back to life normalcy. Well, surprise surprise: stupid fucking walks didn't do jack fuckin shit and every time I see a truck I wish to make my fuckin head explode from under its wheels! I have a followup in a few days, what should I tell her? I was hoping for a change in meds or dosage adjustment, not this stupid "take a walk" cope.

Note: I never told her I am planning to exit life and never will, but just that I wish life would be over in my sleep.

 

[Unspoken7612]

Be honest. Say that you find going for walks triggers distressing thoughts and don't benefit your mood, that you're still experiencing severe depressive symptoms, and you'd like to increase your dose.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Definitely agree with Unspoken- surely, it's best to be honest. Otherwise, she'll just think her job's done and you're ok. You obviously don't need to go as far as saying you're suicidal but- 'I tried and it hasn't helped' seems reasonable. I hope she can make some better suggestions.

 

[CatLvr]

Yep. Tell her it didn't do shit.

 

[Unspoken7612]

For what it is worth, I find going for walks gives me "time alone with my thoughts", which is bad. It used to be that I would remember things my parents did to me that make me angry, but now I have panic attacks.

The way I got around this was by listening to audio dramas on my headphones. This keeps me distracted.

 

[nux_walpurgis]

my psychiatrist suggested the same thing to me a while back, but I have yet to try it lol
according to her "humans are not made to live in a box"
I will have to try it before giving her honest feedback on how it went

 

[dinosavr]

If you want to recover, you definitely should consider being completely honest, otherwise it's basically a waste of time :(

 

[maniac116]

I would tell her that it didn't do shit for my depression & anxiety

 

[KillingPain267]

For what it is worth, I find going for walks gives me "time alone with my thoughts", which is bad. It used to be that I would remember things my parents did to me that make me angry, but now I have panic attacks.

The way I got around this was by listening to audio dramas on my headphones. This keeps me distracted.

Exactly. Rather than being alone with my thoughts I need something to distract me from all the horror I've been through. That's why I need to be at home with my movies, youtube videos and audio lectures. Even just going to the bathroom and showering I start having thoughts of what a failure I am and how the world rejects me. The other alternative is hard drugs and alcohol or a very long "nap" to avoid all thought altogether. When I hear the advice of "taking walks" I know that means they have nothing to offer of help anymore.

 

[metothemoon]

Well if a stupid walk could clear anything… You should be honest though. Tell her it did not work and your thoughts are killing you. That you would like to know if an increase in meds could offer some more relieve.

 

[KillingPain267]

my psychiatrist suggested the same thing to me a while back, but I have yet to try it lol
according to her "humans are not made to live in a box"
I will have to try it before giving her honest feedback on how it went

Humans are also not made to be betrayed, rejected and abused in an open space outside a box. Every time I leave my "box" I'm in pain.

 

[AuroraB]

Exercise (walking, biking) always helps me. Any thoughts of trying it again off road? Like in a park or forest or beach or ? Definitely tell the therapist it didn't work for ya.

 

[KillingPain267]

Exercise (walking, biking) always helps me. Any thoughts of trying it again off road? Like in a park or forest or beach or ? Definitely tell the therapist it didn't work for ya.

Yeah, I get that it helps many people, normal people. But I'm not normal. Many nature areas trigger memories in me which trigger crippling nostalgia of good times that now seem like a false dream. Something as simple as bird chatter triggers thoughts of things I've lost. But I can't really explain these things in detail because it seems neither doctors or therapists take it seriously or they simply have no help to offer a lost cause like me.

 

[AliceTheGoon]

Walks don't distract, try mountain biking. While sitting on a rock bleeding from the shins in blazing Texas heat trying to fix a bike chain someone came by and said 'that sucks' and my answer was 'at least I'm not thinking about work!'

 

[Unspoken7612]

Exactly. Rather than being alone with my thoughts I need something to distract me from all the horror I've been through. That's why I need to be at home with my movies, youtube videos and audio lectures. Even just going to the bathroom and showering I start having thoughts of what a failure I am and how the world rejects me. The other alternative is hard drugs and alcohol or a very long "nap" to avoid all thought altogether. When I hear the advice of "taking walks" I know that means they have nothing to offer of help anymore.

I will say that there's some serious benefit to getting a bit of exercise, but managing it when you're struggling with trauma or whatever can be difficult.

Have you tried walking while listening to an audio lecture? Maybe walking somewhere with no cars, like a park or even on a treadmill?

 

[imsotired35]

Tell her it didn't help, try other techniques!

Personally I enjoy long walks to clear my head but I know it's not for everyone. The reason it is suggested is because it can help in the moment of distress to help regulate your emotions but also it's very much a long term benefit, something you don't really notice is benefitting you until you've been doing it for a while.

 

[Leiot]

I feel a little better physically but it didn't do squat for my mood. Being outside was nice but I ended up feeling like I was a ghost walking in the park.

 

[AuroraB]

Yeah, I get that it helps many people, normal people. But I'm not normal. Many nature areas trigger memories in me which trigger crippling nostalgia of good times that now seem like a false dream. Something as simple as bird chatter triggers thoughts of things I've lost. But I can't really explain these things in detail because it seems neither doctors or therapists take it seriously or they simply have no help to offer a lost cause like me.

what about meditation?

 

[FlufflesAway]

Yea... it's some of the most useless advice I've ever been given. Everybody has heard it's meant to be good for your mental health. Guess what I was doing before I saw a psychologist? Yea, walks. They don't help. Exercise meant to give you a natural high? Nope. That's partly why I'm here, my brain is dysfunctional. Good for the body? Hardly. Would be better of picking up another shift at work (physical job). At least I'd get paid for walking then.

Me: I'm lonely. My thoughts torment me. I can't smell. I can't feel my body.
Pysch: have you tried going on a walk by yourself and stopping to smell the flowers?
Me: ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

I'd always feel worse after walks. More lonely. More pathetic. More isolated.

If you're a bit like me try doing something physical that you can do by yourself, but needs constant concentration. I chose skating. I can go to a skatepark late at night when it's empty and just spaz out. There's a sense of progression which is nice too as you gradually learn tricks and get more comfortable on the larger transitions. I always feel sick and tired after a session and mentally frustrated I wasn't able to do X or Y today, but hey... the Drs say exercise is good for you!

 

[SilentSadness]

To me that just sounds like that person is clueless, also I wouldn't recommend blindly increasing the dose if it doesn't help. Medical professionals never seem to have any experience. Hopefully you can find peace.