Venting My dad said he’d CTB and torture me in hell if I CTB within the next year??!

[3FailedAttemptss]

What in the fuck?? I just got off the phone asking my dad to pick me up from the psych ward and he says in order for him to pick me up today instead of tmrw! I have to promise him I don't kill myself within the next 365 days or else he'll CTB as well just so he can join me in hell and torture and taunt me. Like WTF - I said a tentative "sure" but what the actual fuck, I don't want my dad to CTB.

I'm not even in control of myself when I'm suicidal or make my attempts (hence the psych ward), so how tf- I can't make sure I keep a promise like that??? What could I even have said in response to that?? I can't say "no" like what the hell. Omg

 

[Namelesa]

I don't know what your dad is like but it could have been just a way to guilt-trip and/or threaten you to stay alive and he isn't actually going to kill himself. If he has said about being suicidal without it being anything to do with you then there could be a case he would maybe ctb but you shouldn't feel guilty for if he does that. You are in no way obligated to do as he says as he forceful created you so its fair for you to quit your life early if you want to. Also he is responsible for his own life, not yours. He is really selfish to say this to you as its manipulation and that he wants you to suffer more so he doesn't suffer in your absence. I don't know if you believe in a hell or heaven but if you believe in non-existence after death, you don't have to worry about him at all if you choose to ctb.

 

[3FailedAttemptss]

I don't know what your dad is like but it could have been just a way to guilt-trip and/or threaten you to stay alive and he isn't actually going to kill himself. If he has said about being suicidal without it being anything to do with you then there could be a case he would maybe ctb but you shouldn't feel guilty for if he does that. You are in no way obligated to do as he says as he forceful created you so its fair for you to quit your life early if you want to. Also he is responsible for his own life, not yours. He is really selfish to say this to you as its manipulation and that he wants you to suffer more so he doesn't suffer in your absence. I don't know if you believe in a hell or heaven but if you believe in non-existence after death, you don't have to worry about him at all if you choose to ctb.

I know that he's a depressed man, even before my SH and suicidal behavior came to light - which I know has taken even more of a toll on him. He often cries sometimes even when he talks to me on the phone, plus on top of all that he fucking lost his job- like wtf.

So I don't know, maybe he'll actually do it??? I don't like that- I don't want that on my mind that's so fucked up it's insane!!!! Besides like seriously I am not in control over my own suicide. It's not my fault!!!!!

I'm not sure, maybe he was half joking but he still said it. But yeah super fucking manipulative and selfish.

 

[SVEN]

Am I alone in feeling that there is a certain logical inconsistency in a Dad who's threatening to punish his child by performing exactly the same action ?
And, if he believes in Hell, why would he imagine that he gets to decide who merits being there. Going to piss him off no end if he finishes up being tormented in the lake of fire for all eternity whilst you might be enjoying unlimited bliss in the presence of the Heavenly Host.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Guilt is a pretty damn strong emotion, isn't it?

 

[Rymrgand]

I agree, it's not likely that he will do it simply because he said that. Maybe he said it in a playful way, like if he is saying that he won't leave you even if you die, and maybe he said it seriously, as a threat. In the first case, it could be even kinda cute, even if disturbing and poor taste, but it's only that, a joke. If he didn't say it as a joke, it's borderline abusive, but it's not like he will do it. It makes no sense to punish you after you have already died. You are already gone, he doesn't need to fulfill his "promise".

In any case, what he does after you CTB is not your responsibility.

If you want and if you have a good relationship with him, you could try to tell him that what he said is messed up.

 

[dontwakemeup]

I told my child the same thing! I promised her if she committed suicide, I would do it immediately! I meant what I said. I was only fighting to stay alive for her, as she is all I have. I sacrificed my attempts just for her. If I were you, I would believe him. I hate to guilt trip you. It seems your father really loves you.

 

[oneeyed]

Jokes on him. If you ctb to free yourself of whatever pain you feel, you can ask god for forgiveness and make your case. You "sinned" but a benevolent god will accept you. If your dad ctb in order to get to hell to torture you, god would just shrug his shoulders and think "that's what he asked for".

 

[Skylar6]

What in the fuck?? I just got off the phone asking my dad to pick me up from the psych ward and he says in order for him to pick me up today instead of tmrw! I have to promise him I don't kill myself within the next 365 days or else he'll CTB as well just so he can join me in hell and torture and taunt me. Like WTF - I said a tentative "sure" but what the actual fuck, I don't want my dad to CTB.

I'm not even in control of myself when I'm suicidal or make my attempts (hence the psych ward), so how tf- I can't make sure I keep a promise like that??? What could I even have said in response to that?? I can't say "no" like what the hell. Omg

No idea what your relationship is with your dad. But being a parent myself, it would be devastating to lose a child, even a grown one. Of course we devastate lots of people when we do this, I'm not trying to guilt trip you either as I know very well who I will hurt when I ctb. People that have not reached the point we have ( emotional of physical last straw), don't really understand our state of mind. I certainly did not until a few weeks ago when I arrived here. Its simply beyond him to understand where you are, why you are really there or what he can do to change it. He has no leverage over you to not ctb, so he's trying to create some. I dont think its out of a desire to make things worse for you, what else can he do? I may be wrong and I'm not a professional. Just offering a point of view. Hope it all works out.

 

[RoyalBengalAutistic]

What in the fuck?? I just got off the phone asking my dad to pick me up from the psych ward and he says in order for him to pick me up today instead of tmrw! I have to promise him I don't kill myself within the next 365 days or else he'll CTB as well just so he can join me in hell and torture and taunt me. Like WTF - I said a tentative "sure" but what the actual fuck, I don't want my dad to CTB.

I'm not even in control of myself when I'm suicidal or make my attempts (hence the psych ward), so how tf- I can't make sure I keep a promise like that??? What could I even have said in response to that?? I can't say "no" like what the hell. Omg

If you can make choice to CTB, he can too. Simple as that.

 

[Worndown]

Kind of a hollow threat. It has some great bullying overtones.

 

[SilentSadness]

I can't imagine how much of a psychopath someone must be to create a child for no reason and then threaten them with torture. This world would be better off without people like that, I hope your situation improves.