My d day is getting closer and my feelings are all over the place.

[rozeske]

I'm planning on leaving in a month. I would have left sooner as soon as I received my sn but wanted to wait out others pre-planned vacation so my suicide doesn't ruin it, which annoys me that I care about every little things when it wouldn't matter or when I wasn't even given the same curtsy...anyways I always imagined that I would only feel relief and be happy to finally leave but as the day gets closer my feelings have been all over the place. Sad, scared, happy, anxious, angry, relieved, exhausted....you name it, it's there. I honestly don't know how I'm gonna manage to move past this final days. I'm eating anything and everything around me and even that isn't helping as much any more except make me gain so much weight i look like I'm about to explode any second. l had thought that I wouldn't really need benzos but it looks like it might be a necessity, my anxiety is through the roof even the thought of looking in to getting benzos is making it hard to breathe. I wish this days were over soon or the whole vacation shenanigan is canceled and I can leave sooner.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's so kind that you've hung on so as not to disrupt others so much. I'm sorry you haven't received that level of care back.

It's got to be so strange on the days running up to it. I wish I had something to say that was comforting. All I really have is that your presence here has always been a welcome sight so, I wanted to reply in some way. Just to say we are anonymously with you in this really strange time in thought. I hope you can find a way to find comfort.

 

[astr4]

you deserve peace, whatever that looks like. i'm sorry this has been so emotionally tumultuous, it must be exhausting.