Story my CTB 24 must

[ddddd]

I'm planning to CTB at midnight tonight in my country. About 13 hours later. Or maybe a little earlier.

I'll use gas and bags. I can't wait until tomorrow.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

Here for you if you want to talk any beforehand.

 

[ddddd]

I'm not an English speaker, so this thread may be terrible. Still, I'm writing this to make up my mind.

Yes, I finally understand why there are so many threads just for declarations of "I'm going to do it." It's to fight against SI. Sometimes it's difficult to do it alone. Even if you've concluded that there is no other way.

(SS is a place to sympathize, but not a place to push someone. I know that. But still.)

事前に何かお話したいことがあれば、こちらまでご連絡ください。

Thank you. It's encouraging to know someone is watching this.

 

[Gangrel]

We are all in this together with you. Safe travels my friend.

 

[ddddd]

It took me a little over two weeks to get to this point just preparing directly. Hanging, jumping, gas.
I looked into a number of methods, and whenever I concluded that one was impossible, I looked for another. The room is in a terrible state. I've tried the gas option three times, and now I'm aiming to die in my bed.

We are all in this together with you. Safe travels my friend.

Thanks. Reading it on someone's thread feels so different than actually having it said. It's weird.

 

[ddddd]

Damn! I spilled a huge amount. I left the safety lock open to make it a little easier. There's no fatal danger, and I have a spare, but I only have one bag left. I'll let it dry just in case.

It took more than 30 minutes to clean up. Two lessons learned. You should always lock things. And there are lessons to be learned even if it's the last day of your life.

If I didn't have an appetite I would have passed it by, but I'm tired so I'll eat lunch. I don't intend to change my plan.
---
I'll get it ready and try it again some more times.

 

[ddddd]

I've checked the calculations multiple times.
---
Life is like the fairy tale of the Little Match Girl: you never know which is an illusion until it's gone.
When I first saw the idea of fighting SI with intense music, I thought it was strange, but I'm thinking about incorporating it. After all, SI is not something you create yourself. It's something your body creates. It's not a bad idea to get your spirits up and ready for the final battle with this body - my friend and nemesis. It's also good to try screaming in a hushed voice.
---
3pm. I'll try. I'm not going to let tomorrow come.

 

[ddddd]

Pretty good results. Can't be stopped. Will proceed at 24:00.

 

[sorrowful]

I hope that your journey is a peaceful one. Much love.

 

[ddddd]

Test. Test. Test.
I don't know how many times we'll do it. But the current situation is the best.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

How r u feeling? I wish you all the best and good luck1 Safe travels. May you find peace!

 

[etherealspring]

hey, i wish you the best on ur journey and i hope u can find peace on the other side

 

[rozeske]

I wish you the best. I hope you find the peace you search for

 

[Kusogaki]

How you feeling?

 

[ddddd]

As I thought about it, I began to think that I was challenging this body and this brain, which have been bothering me and living with me for so long -- my whole life -- to a final battle. I will win and then depart.

How r u feeling? I wish you all the best and good luck1 Safe travels. May you find peace!

hey, i wish you the best on ur journey and i hope u can find peace on the other side

I wish you the best. I hope you find the peace you search for

How you feeling?

Thank you, everyone. I'm truly grateful. Four hours left (in this time zone). I've just finished my last dinner.
---
Let's take a moment to look back on my life.

There was a time when I was an author, and I won an award for the worth of a book. I can't say that it all went well, but objectively speaking, I think that was the highlight of my life.

I tried many different things, experienced many different things, lost my way, and failed.
I'm just a little curious: what kind of life would I have if the mind of another person was "installed" into my brain?

Some people say that the mind and the brain are inseparable. However, even from the same brain, a slight chance or choice can give rise to a different mind.

I'm somewhat interested in "play videos" of the various lives lived by various people who have been given these brains and bodies.
---
Yeah, let's try the test again.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best and I hope that you find the freedom you search for.

 

[ddddd]

(for normal air) Breathing bag repair complete.....this is what I have, even though it's not the best.

I wish you the best and I hope that you find the freedom you search for.

Thank you and may you have the blessings you need.
---
I set a timer for 10:30pm and take a short break.
---
I slept a little.

I checked my gloves, earphones... and other equipment over and over again.

 

[ddddd]

About an hour and 20 minutes left.

I'll do something to stay awake besides eating some chocolate and drinking some ice water. Maybe a test.
(Of course, I had hobbies, too, once upon a time. A fond memory.)

---

One hour left. I eat the ice cream I saved.
I never thought that taking a test would actually wake me up. Hobby: Testing? It's like GLaDOS from Portal.

---

It's 3pm in the UK right now. 10am in Washington D.C.. 7am in LA.
I'm finishing up in the evening, but most people watching are watching in the morning or afternoon.

---

I once loved the world and humanity. I loved everything that someone finds valuable. I believed there was something that could be called infinity.

The reason I wanted to forcibly leave was because I didn't want to live in a world where I could no longer love it and was no longer loved. There may not be a single thing that is right from every perspective. But this is my choice.

I'm grateful to my parents and friends. I challenged my shitty body and brain. I loved stories, Mencius, Buddhism, and Nietzsche.

 

[ddddd]

Finished the last test.
It's almost time. Now.

 

[Aprilfarewell4]

 

[ladylazarus4]

you are probably gone now. I hope you are at peace.

 

[Kusogaki]

Oh what pain, you can finally rest now.