I hate this disease. After learning I have it, it feels like i have every symptom imaginable. Today I've been in pain and fatigued. Unfortunately, today was the day of a gig with my band (which is probably going to be my last show I do with them before I go through treatment). Show was going pretty good up until the middle of the show, when I got a sharp pain in my abdomen. I couldn't finish the song we were play. I went back stage and we had to cut the rest of the show. I feel so fucking useless. I've never been so embarrassed in my life. I wanna CTB so bad rn but I'm not going to.