my boyfriend confirmed he no longer wants to have a family with me

[bpd4ever]

i will never be a mom and i need to come to terms with that.
i've been pregnant once, with my 4 year long relationship with my abusive ex, i had miscarried our baby and he told me numerous times that it was all my fault, and that i should kill myself for failing him and failing our baby.
now, i know i've always talked about never wanting kids, for as long as i can remember, but the feeling of never being able to hold a baby of my own is haunting me. i know i'm just **, and i have "a lot of life ahead of me" but i'm asking you to please understand that so many people now have told me they want to build a family with me, and then back down on that. it makes me feel like i'm not worthy to be a mom, and that if i ever wanted to truly have a baby i'd have to do it myself, including fertilizing my own egg, having the baby, and raising it until it no longer needs me.
full props to any and all single moms that have had to do it all by themselves, but with my mental health issues being as extreme as they are, i could never do that with just me.
i just wish someone loved me for me, and meant what they say. i'm starting to feel like that'll never happen in my lifetime.

 

[darkizz]

i just wish someone loved me for me, and meant what they say. i'm starting to feel like that'll never happen in my lifetime.

I feel that so hard. Its like everyone is just using you til they get bored and just throw you away.
Maybe someone will come that actually means it, maybe not.
Maybe you can find a way to be happy without needing someone to love you.

If you want to be a mom go for it. Dont listen to the others you can do it.


And if you feel lonely maybe i can be there for you for a bit.

 

[lucyna]

your ex sounds like an awful, disgusting person and i'm so sorry that you had to go through that. you're worthy of being a mom and worthy of love and i truly hope you'll find what you're looking for.