ForbiddenSiren

ForbiddenSiren

Member
Dec 16, 2019
99
Hi everyone.

Ive been a lurker on here for a while. Finally decided to make an account.

So a little bit over two years ago my best friend hung himself. It was devastating, but I understand why he did it. Poor guy had an abusive upbringing. His parents used to beat him, and towards the end his girlfriend cheated on him multiple times.

I plan to join him in the future (I wont do it while my parents are still around as I love them dearly).

One day I'll be reunited with him.

Anyway, has anyone else had someone close to them commit suicide?

If so I hope you are dealing with it okay. It's fucking hard losing someone we love. But it's not our choice to keep them alive.

I just wish he was still here...
 
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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until Iā€™m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
Today is Day 8 since my partner CTB. I understand your pain.
 
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Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
Fortunately, I've never lost someone close to me to suicide, but I'm sorry for your loss :heart:
 
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ForbiddenSiren

ForbiddenSiren

Member
Dec 16, 2019
99
Oh shit... I'm really sorry to hear that :(

Are you okay?? (I know that's a stupid question, I just hope you are)
Fortunately, I've never lost someone close to me to suicide, but I'm sorry for your loss :heart:
Thank you <3
 
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R

Ritter

Member
Aug 30, 2019
76
Yea, my long-term boyfriend CTB in August. I miss him so much. I'd do/give/sacrifice anything to have him back...even for one more hour.
 
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ForbiddenSiren

ForbiddenSiren

Member
Dec 16, 2019
99
Today is Day 8 since my partner CTB. I understand your pain.
  • #4
Oh shit... I'm really sorry to hear that :(

Are you okay?? (I know that's a stupid question, I just hope you are)

Sorry I'm new here accidently didn't reply directly
 
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SinisterKid

SinisterKid

Visionary
Jun 1, 2019
2,113
Dec 5th, Dec 8th, 2 people I never met left this world behind. One of the hardest weeks of my life. I went to say hi to one of them today so that they know they are not forgotten. So yeah, I think its fair to say a few of us around these parts can empathise with you.
 
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ForbiddenSiren

ForbiddenSiren

Member
Dec 16, 2019
99
Yea, my long-term boyfriend CTB in August. I miss him so much. I'd do/give/sacrifice anything to have him back...even for one more hour.
I'm so sorry to hear that... the pain you are going through... fuck :(

Pm if you need to talk
Dec 5th, Dec 8th, 2 people I never met left this world behind. One of the hardest weeks of my life. I went to say hi to one of them today so that they know they are not forgotten. So yeah, I think its fair to say a few of us around these parts can empathise with you.
Sorry to hear that man... I hope you are okay!

Thanks for the reply
 
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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until Iā€™m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
  • #4
Oh shit... I'm really sorry to hear that :(

Are you okay?? (I know that's a stupid question, I just hope you are)

Sorry I'm new here accidently didn't reply directly
I take it day to day. Sometimes second by second. Some days are better than others.

He was a very big part of this board, and I continue to learn how many people he helped, and that makes me happy.

I go to his goodbye post along with everybody else when we miss him.

When you miss your friend, come here and talk about it. We are good listeners, and we understand. ;)

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/can-anyone-hear-frank-sinatra.27430/
 
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ForbiddenSiren

ForbiddenSiren

Member
Dec 16, 2019
99
I take it day to day. Sometimes second by second. Some days are better than others.

He was a very big part of this board, and I continue to learn how many people he helped, and that makes me happy.

I go to his goodbye post along with everybody else when we miss him.

When you miss your friend, come here and talk about it. We are good listeners, and we understand. ;)

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/can-anyone-hear-frank-sinatra.27430/
He sounds like he was a very kind person! There is not enough people like that in this world anymore... I'm really sorry for your loss again :( Try and take care of yourself.

Thank you so much, I appreciate that!
 
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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until Iā€™m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
He sounds like he was a very kind person! There is not enough people like that in this world anymore... I'm really sorry for your loss again :( Try and take care of yourself.

Thank you so much, I appreciate that!
If you ever want to talk, or talk about your friend PM me. :)
 
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Wayfaerer

Wayfaerer

JFMSUF
Aug 21, 2019
1,938
If you believe you'll be reunited with your loved ones in the afterlife, then why are you worried about how your parents feel? Wouldn't they feel even better because you are in "a better place?"

To answer your question: no. I'll definitely stand out when I do.
 
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T

TheLastGoodbye

Student
Oct 23, 2019
109
Today is Day 8 since my partner CTB. I understand your pain.
Sorry for your loss, Jean. Was this @Stan if you don't mind me asking? I know he was a big part of the community. I read a lot of his posts and his sn guide. I didn't know him personally, but I miss him as well.
Yea, my long-term boyfriend CTB in August. I miss him so much. I'd do/give/sacrifice anything to have him back...even for one more hour.
Sorry for your loss, Ritter
 
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ForbiddenSiren

ForbiddenSiren

Member
Dec 16, 2019
99
If you believe you'll be reunited with your loved ones in the afterlife, then why are you worried about how your parents feel? Wouldn't they feel even better because you are in "a better place?"

To answer your question: no. I'll definitely stand out when I do.
I don't believe in the afterlife. I just feel that in death we will be together again. I want to feel what he felt.

No they wouldn't feel better. They would blame themselves for the rest of their time. I'm not doing that to them, they are amazing people.

When my time comes I'll do it.
 
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T

TheLastGoodbye

Student
Oct 23, 2019
109
Hi everyone.

Ive been a lurker on here for a while. Finally decided to make an account.

So a little bit over two years ago my best friend hung himself. It was devastating, but I understand why he did it. Poor guy had an abusive upbringing. His parents used to beat him, and towards the end his girlfriend cheated on him multiple times.

I plan to join him in the future (I wont do it while my parents are still around as I love them dearly).

One day I'll be reunited with him.

Anyway, has anyone else had someone close to them commit suicide?

If so I hope you are dealing with it okay. It's fucking hard losing someone we love. But it's not our choice to keep them alive.

I just wish he was still here...
Not anyone that I knew personally, but a few that I felt like I knew on this site. Sorry for your loss.
 
Moony21

Moony21

Experienced
Nov 23, 2018
273
Hi everyone.

Ive been a lurker on here for a while. Finally decided to make an account.

So a little bit over two years ago my best friend hung himself. It was devastating, but I understand why he did it. Poor guy had an abusive upbringing. His parents used to beat him, and towards the end his girlfriend cheated on him multiple times.

I plan to join him in the future (I wont do it while my parents are still around as I love them dearly).

One day I'll be reunited with him.

Anyway, has anyone else had someone close to them commit suicide?

If so I hope you are dealing with it okay. It's fucking hard losing someone we love. But it's not our choice to keep them alive.

I just wish he was still here...
My grandfather shoot himself when I was a Child. He suffers from cancer and didn't came along with the pain and ended his life.
 
ForbiddenSiren

ForbiddenSiren

Member
Dec 16, 2019
99
My grandfather shoot himself when I was a Child. He suffers from cancer and didn't came along with the pain and ended his life.
That's horrible man, I'm sorry to hear that
Not anyone that I knew personally, but a few that I felt like I knew on this site. Sorry for your loss.
Hmm I'm sure you got close with people on here. Sorry to hear that :/
 
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M

Morphinekiss

Enlightened
Jun 8, 2019
1,207
My brother ctb 20 years ago, and it's been 4 years since I lost a boyfriend to it. There are still days that the pain of it is crushing, but I'd rather them not be suffering the way they were.
 
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Alec

Alec

Wizard
Apr 22, 2019
681
"It's fucking hard to loose someone we love, but it's not our choice to keep them alive." Those are the best words about such situation that I could ever imagine or hear. Honestly it's perfect, and beautiful. It also tells me you truly loved him and respected him as a personality, it shows how smart and capable of understanding you are. Your friend is very lucky to have met you!ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø And I agree with you, we have to respect their decisions and remember that it's their lives and their stories.ā¤ļø
Today is Day 8 since my partner CTB. I understand your pain.
I hope you know you are not alone, and I hope you are ok, or as ok as it is possible to be. I'm sorry for your pain.ā¤ļø I love you.
 
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ForbiddenSiren

ForbiddenSiren

Member
Dec 16, 2019
99
My brother ctb 20 years ago, and it's been 4 years since I lost a boyfriend to it. There are still days that the pain of it is crushing, but I'd rather them not be suffering the way they were.
Sorry to hear that you have been through it twice. But yes at least they are not suffering anymore.

Hope you are doing okay, I'm always up for a listen
"It's fucking hard to loose someone we love, but it's not our choice to keep them alive." Those are the best words about such situation that I could ever imagine or hear. Honestly it's perfect, and beautiful. It also tells me you truly loved him and respected him as a personality, it shows how smart and capable of understanding you are. Your friend is very lucky to have met you!ā¤ā¤ā¤ And I agree with you, we have to respect their decisions and remember that it's their lives and their stories.ā¤

I hope you know you are not alone, and I hope you are ok, or as ok as it is possible to be. I'm sorry for your pain.ā¤ I love you.
I appreciate the kind words! Very kind of you
 
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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until Iā€™m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
Sorry for your loss, Jean. Was this @Stan if you don't mind me asking? I know he was a big part of the community. I read a lot of his posts and his sn guide. I didn't know him personally, but I miss him as well.
Yes. ;)
 
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YukiFox

YukiFox

Pastel demon
Dec 8, 2018
320
A close friend of college jumped five years ago. Her death made me to join this forum too, since 15 years old I had suicidal thoughts but I never took a serious attempt. Firstly, as a kind of remember her I tried to become a pro life, but I felt hypocritical as I had desires to join her too at the future. Since I accepted my own thoughts I feel better and less confused.
I wish I could be recovered from the suicidal thoughts, although they are the only scenario I imagined to pass away. And not only for the mourn of my friend, specially for having a nihilist way of thinking.
 
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ForbiddenSiren

ForbiddenSiren

Member
Dec 16, 2019
99
A close friend of college jumped five years ago. Her death made me to join this forum too, since 15 years old I had suicidal thoughts but I never took a serious attempt. Firstly, as a kind of remember her I tried to become a pro life, but I felt hypocritical as I had desires to join her too at the future. Since I accepted my own thoughts I feel better and less confused.
I wish I could be recovered from the suicidal thoughts, although they are the only scenario I imagined to pass away. And not only for the mourn of my friend, specially for having a nihilist way of thinking.
Hope you are okay, pm if you need
 
D

dmsdnd18

Member
Sep 26, 2019
48
My boyfriend shot himself 19 months ago and every day without him has been so painful
 
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ForbiddenSiren

ForbiddenSiren

Member
Dec 16, 2019
99
My boyfriend shot himself 19 months ago and every day without him has been so painful
I'm so sorry to hear that, if you ever want to talk you can send me a pm
 
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Moonicide

Moonicide

į“˜Źœį“€źœ±į“‡źœ± į“źœ° į“›Źœį“‡ į“į“į“É“
Nov 19, 2019
802
I haven't and don't know what I would do if I did, friends outside of SS I mean. At least here it's kind of expected, but I'd be surprised if my friends outside of here did. It would trigger me greatly and I think I'd end up ctbing even sooner.
 
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D

DeepSleep

Student
Aug 8, 2018
115
Call me a heartless scumbag or whatever, I dont care.

But I dont understand how can you stay on this forum and be mad about someone CTB?
It hasn't happened to me, but if it had, I would be mad jealous for them.
 
R

Responsibleresident

The deep state intrusion/cruelty is murderous
Nov 15, 2019
49
W
Hi everyone.

Ive been a lurker on here for a while. Finally decided to make an account.

So a little bit over two years ago my best friend hung himself. It was devastating, but I understand why he did it. Poor guy had an abusive upbringing. His parents used to beat him, and towards the end his girlfriend cheated on him multiple times.

I plan to join him in the future (I wont do it while my parents are still around as I love them dearly).

One day I'll be reunited with him.

Anyway, has anyone else had someone close to them commit suicide?

If so I hope you are dealing with it okay. It's fucking hard losing someone we love. But it's not our choice to keep them alive.

I just wish he was still here...
Lovers cheating hurts deeply. Cheaters dont care if they cause a suicide. They only care about themselves.