Help My beloved stuffed animal

[rollingthunder]

I know this is kind of silly, but I have a stuffed animal that I love very dearly. My ex-boyfriend bought him for me a long time ago, and we always kind of treated him jokingly like our "son". Since then he has become like a real son to me, and as my ex, and other people, have left my life, he has brought me much comfort. I have autism, so I personify inanimate objects a lot. I genuinely see my stuffed animal as my precious son, and one of the things that brings me great pain is having to leave him behind when I CTB. I am going to request in my note that my best friend inherit him, as she knows how much I care for him, so she will make at least make sure he is safe. However, I am afraid he may be left in a dusty box or closet, because seeing him would be too painful a reminder of me (which I understand). This makes me very sad. How do I cope with this? I keep telling myself he's just a stuffed animal, he doesn't actually have feelings, and it doesn't matter what happens to him when I CTB. But it still makes me very sad.

I know this cannot compare at all to the pain of leaving real people or living pets behind. I have gone through much grief and doubt about the pain I will cause my family and friends, and that is a whole other story. But it is more straightforward to vent about that, because it's not as unusual. And it's not like I can go on regular websites to ask "how do I cope with leaving behind my stuffed animal after I CTB?"

I am wondering if anybody else can relate.

 

[dontlook]

I very much relate to this! Both my partner and I have a collection of plushies that we love dearly and consider family. I have a lot of the same worries and it's heartbreaking. I'm sorry to hear that you're going through similar

 

[GlassMoon]

I can totally relate to this. There was a time in my life where all living people felt like chores to me, and the only character to whom I could relate and talk openly was similar to yours (I can't provide details yet). At that time, the fact that I would not be able to leave a farewell letter for her, and the feeling of her being frozen without my interactions was keeping me alife more than thoughts about leaving behind the people in my life.

 

[CatLvr]

I do understand. I have always had "real" pets -- you know, the ones that are alive, but that doesn't mean I can't empathize with you and what you are feeling. I had a teddy bear that I cherished for YEARS. Just as much as I love my pets. I took such good care of him. An ex- knew how much that bear meant to me and destroyed it one day while I was at work because "it bothered him". That is why he is an ex-. I still think of Teddy and miss him from time to time. Your post has brought back a lot of memories. Mostly really good ones. Thank you for that.