Y
yohan
New Member
- Feb 10, 2023
- 4
Fucking hell man. I have to write this down and get it off of my chest. I don't exactly now how to start but around a week ago, I found myself passing about my room at around 2AM? I was experiencing a wave of intrusive thoughts and to put it simply I found an old and dull carving knife, went over to my bed and texted my friend to see if he was awake but he was not. Soon after, I received a text from a different person but I replied asking to talk another time. I turned off my phone and picked up the knife, then I pressed it firmly to my neck. Everything felt like it was happening oddly fast. After holding the knife to my neck for some time I counted down from five and at one, I tightly shut my eyes but then just dropped the knife, and stared at it. Now I have the knife on my windowsill. Looking back, I have no idea if that would've even worked. I could've ended up injured and unsuccessful. This is said a lot, but I can't stand how survival instincts interfere so much! That is my story.