MeriDeath
Im on the edge of reality
- May 10, 2020
- 213
Dear friends and everyone who might read this.
Ever since I was a little kid life was something so...unfathomable.
I've had the worst parents ever, the kind of parents no one would wish for. And they dont even know it. Because they are, well, they have the heart of a stone.
I didnt really think I would get this far. Heck, I didnt even think I would be here now writing this. I always thought I would give in to death at the age of 30, but this is just...I cant stand being with my parents anymore. They are literally killing me. So I give up at 25. I dont have friends, I dont have love, I lost it all long ago. But most importantly? I NEVER GOT TO FEEL WHAT REAL HAPPINESS MEANS. Im depressed as fuck. and its literally killing me. Some people just dont fit here in this world I guess. I've been asking so many times "why them and not me?" As Ive always wished to just succumb into sweet death and wipe off the face of earth. I dont believe in anything anymore ,I feel like a total rubbish, lethargic, apathetic, garbage, dysfunctional...I breath but it doesnt mean Im alive. Im awkward, I always feel like people are gonna treat me bad, and that im ugly. I carry so many scars with me, I just cant bare the thought of me living all by myself, frustrated, feeling like a loser, hating myself, for nearly 4 more decades. I cannot. Death is so appealing to me, Im not sure why.
I have yet to get my tagamet.
But evntually Ive made it and got meto and SN. Death is not the solution to anything and I think, if you guys can make a good recovery, Go for it. But some people just hate life and I wish other people would understand that. Especially some doctors who claim to know it all upon having graduated at the best medical school. Imma stay here a little bit more until I get my tagamet from the auction site and book a room in a hotel. I appreciate you all. You guys are life savers lol (at times when youre not dead yet but you need the help)
God knows Ive tried every threapy, medicine there is to offer. But everyone has given up on me. And so have I.
Im really sorry life is treating us that way. Remember this is just temporal, its really saddening the fact we just wanted to have a normal life (if we're already here) and maybe succeed in it a little bit like everybody else, But no, we didn't deserve it.
Well, for now, nighty night. Still here.
Ever since I was a little kid life was something so...unfathomable.
I've had the worst parents ever, the kind of parents no one would wish for. And they dont even know it. Because they are, well, they have the heart of a stone.
I didnt really think I would get this far. Heck, I didnt even think I would be here now writing this. I always thought I would give in to death at the age of 30, but this is just...I cant stand being with my parents anymore. They are literally killing me. So I give up at 25. I dont have friends, I dont have love, I lost it all long ago. But most importantly? I NEVER GOT TO FEEL WHAT REAL HAPPINESS MEANS. Im depressed as fuck. and its literally killing me. Some people just dont fit here in this world I guess. I've been asking so many times "why them and not me?" As Ive always wished to just succumb into sweet death and wipe off the face of earth. I dont believe in anything anymore ,I feel like a total rubbish, lethargic, apathetic, garbage, dysfunctional...I breath but it doesnt mean Im alive. Im awkward, I always feel like people are gonna treat me bad, and that im ugly. I carry so many scars with me, I just cant bare the thought of me living all by myself, frustrated, feeling like a loser, hating myself, for nearly 4 more decades. I cannot. Death is so appealing to me, Im not sure why.
I have yet to get my tagamet.
But evntually Ive made it and got meto and SN. Death is not the solution to anything and I think, if you guys can make a good recovery, Go for it. But some people just hate life and I wish other people would understand that. Especially some doctors who claim to know it all upon having graduated at the best medical school. Imma stay here a little bit more until I get my tagamet from the auction site and book a room in a hotel. I appreciate you all. You guys are life savers lol (at times when youre not dead yet but you need the help)
God knows Ive tried every threapy, medicine there is to offer. But everyone has given up on me. And so have I.
Im really sorry life is treating us that way. Remember this is just temporal, its really saddening the fact we just wanted to have a normal life (if we're already here) and maybe succeed in it a little bit like everybody else, But no, we didn't deserve it.
Well, for now, nighty night. Still here.
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