Venting my abuser is back

[90starve]

when i was 16, i was groomed by a 23 year old man. the abuse started small, but slowly started to turn more sinister as his alcohol consumption increased.

before i knew it, i was trapped - i was 16 years old, unemployed, i had dropped out of school, isolated from my peers, and nowhere else to live but with my abuser.

when i got my first job and rented property at 18, i was taken advantage of financially as well. i had absolutely nothing left and was just shattered into a million pieces - i turned to alcohol abuse with what little money i had left to myself.

i spent almost 3 years backed into a corner by this man. i had to endure endless mental torment and physical abuse. he would just sit and scream the nastiest of things at me for hours on end, everyday.

it seemed endless, and i felt i had no other option other than to take my life - then a year ago, i met somebody. my abuser finally slowly started to backed off.

but recently, he has started sending me emails. i just can't do this shit anymore! although i am now immune to his tricks, he's trying to sink his fangs back in again.

this recent contact is just a reminder that - no matter how much time or distance i have from this disgusting man, the damage that he has done to my life is irreversible. i am haunted by the things he did to me. i cannot bring myself even say his name.

i don't know how i am going to heal from this experience, or if i ever will. he is always going to exist in the world, and i feel like this will never be over until one of us is dead.

 

[Minsu]

I feel so sorry for you! I've never experienced something like that myself fortunately. But it must've been a horrible experience. I'm sending you hugs!!

 

[90starve]

I feel so sorry for you! I've never experienced something like that myself fortunately. But it must've been a horrible experience. I'm sending you hugs!!

thankyou for your kind worlds <3 im glad that you've never had to go through something like this before, it's truly a draining experience.

 

[GettingOut]

Chills went down my spine as I read your post. As a child, I was sexually abused by school friends and suffered emotional and physical abuse from my alcoholic father.

no matter how much time or distance i have from this disgusting man, the damage that he has done to my life is irreversible.

I totally agree with you. My abuse has been more than 30 years ago and I have absolutely no contact with any of those people, but triggers and flashbacks make it as real as the day it happened. Such experiences makes it hard to love and have healthy relationships as an adult.

I can't imagine what it would be like if they were to contact me Can you block his email or change your contact details?

My heart goes out to you dear friend. We are all here to support you through this difficult time

 

[Pluto]

First thing, please look into your rights in terms of restraining orders. Perhaps visit your local police station. F-ed up people like that will never change and they will destroy us if we let them. You deserve to be safe and to be treated with love and respect.

 

[deomlez]

You are not alone. Everyone here is at your side, and all together we are stronger than this f*** guy. But also you alone are stronger than him. He, as so shitty, needs you to exist but you don t need him.
Block this man to avoid any contact...
You seem to have a new life. You won t forget, you cannot do anything to make this has never arrived, but perhaps you are now able, with people around you, to live with that.
Perhaps also find an association in chilhood care to help you if you want. I don t know where you live and if you can contact them.
And at the end big hug (from far) to let you know my support.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

when i was 16, i was groomed by a 23 year old man. the abuse started small, but slowly started to turn more sinister as his alcohol consumption increased.

before i knew it, i was trapped - i was 16 years old, unemployed, i had dropped out of school, isolated from my peers, and nowhere else to live but with my abuser.

when i got my first job and rented property at 18, i was taken advantage of financially as well. i had absolutely nothing left and was just shattered into a million pieces - i turned to alcohol abuse with what little money i had left to myself.

i spent almost 3 years backed into a corner by this man. i had to endure endless mental torment and physical abuse. he would just sit and scream the nastiest of things at me for hours on end, everyday.

it seemed endless, and i felt i had no other option other than to take my life - then a year ago, i met somebody. my abuser finally slowly started to backed off.

but recently, he has started sending me emails. i just can't do this shit anymore! although i am now immune to his tricks, he's trying to sink his fangs back in again.

this recent contact is just a reminder that - no matter how much time or distance i have from this disgusting man, the damage that he has done to my life is irreversible. i am haunted by the things he did to me. i cannot bring myself even say his name.

i don't know how i am going to heal from this experience, or if i ever will. he is always going to exist in the world, and i feel like this will never be over until one of us is dead.

I would block that evil creature. But before that I'd tell that sob off . I'd tell it in an email reply " u think ur great but ur nothing but a bug, cells , a brain that's exactly like in the other animals, ur going to die like every other human and u won't exist forever, u are nothing.... " .that's just a start of what id say. I'd laugh at that nothing

 

[90starve]

Chills went down my spine as I read your post. As a child, I was sexually abused by school friends and suffered emotional and physical abuse from my alcoholic father.



I totally agree with you. My abuse has been more than 30 years ago and I have absolutely no contact with any of those people, but triggers and flashbacks make it as real as the day it happened. Such experiences makes it hard to love and have healthy relationships as an adult.

I can't imagine what it would be like if they were to contact me Can you block his email or change your contact details?

My heart goes out to you dear friend. We are all here to support you through this difficult time

im so sorry to read that you've also experienced this </3

you're completely right - this man has destroyed my capacity to trust anybody, and forming relationships with people is something i am absolutely terrified of (the only relationship i need is the one with my weed man!) - abuse like this will affect many aspects of life too, so it is very very hard to just pick back up as normal.

i have blocked his email. although, all that does is move future emails to the spam inbox, rather than stopping them al together. unfortunately, a new email right now is out of the question, since my whole life is pretty much tied to this email.

thankyou so much for your supportive comment - wishing you a lovely day <3

First thing, please look into your rights in terms of restraining orders. Perhaps visit your local police station. F-ed up people like that will never change and they will destroy us if we let them. You deserve to be safe and to be treated with love and respect.

thankyou for this suggestion! i didn't even consider a restraining order, but it defo needs looking into.

i agree that these sorts of people never change. in his emails, he mentioned that he had been in therapy and is now recovered after one year (he's been a long term narcissistic alcoholic with very unstable emotions). but we all know that no amount of therapy can fix a pedophilloic mind.

You are not alone. Everyone here is at your side, and all together we are stronger than this f*** guy. But also you alone are stronger than him. He, as so shitty, needs you to exist but you don t need him.
Block this man to avoid any contact...
You seem to have a new life. You won t forget, you cannot do anything to make this has never arrived, but perhaps you are now able, with people around you, to live with that.
Perhaps also find an association in chilhood care to help you if you want. I don t know where you live and if you can contact them.
And at the end big hug (from far) to let you know my support.

thankyou so much for your warm message, and for you hug - im sending one right back <3

you're right - we are all a lot stronger than this pathetic man + people alike, especially so now that i have escaped his grasp. i am hoping that i can just push this experience to the back of my mind one day, and get on with life.

im not sure what you mean by contacting an association in childhood care - would you mind explaining a little?

I would block that evil creature. But before that id tell that sob off . Id tell it " u think ur great but ur nothing but a bug, cells , a brain that's exactly like in the other animals, ur going to die like every other human an u won't exist forever, u are nothing.... " .that's just a start of what id say

yes, he has now been blocked.

i did absolutely rip into him in my own reply beforehand though. i just let it all out on him, which probably wasn't the most mature thing to do - but it felt really good, and was exactly what he needed to hear.

one email will never be enough to express my disgust for him, but it gets the gist across :)

 

[deomlez]

Childhood care association : sorry i m in Europe and not English native speaker so perhaps i have not the good information/words. I mean some groups of people concerned by child abuse, exactly knowing what you went through (and not people you would say "Oh it s over, forget and live, life is so beautiful"). In my country they are many associations like that, for all types of abuse... hope you will find stg to help you, but here is also a safe place.

PS : i don t mentioned religious/cult/sect associations, all about sexuality, even imposed one, is not a good subject to deal with them imo (i am fundamentally atheist).

PS2 : thx for the hug

 

[90starve]

Childhood care association : sorry i m in Europe and not English native speaker so perhaps i have not the good information/words. I mean some groups of people concerned by child abuse, exactly knowing what you went through (and not people you would say "Oh it s over, forget and live, life is so beautiful"). In my country they are many associations like that, for all types of abuse... hope you will find stg to help you, but here is also a safe place.

PS : i don t mentioned religious/cult/sect associations, all about sexuality, even imposed one, is not a good subject to deal with them imo (i am fundamentally atheist).

PS2 : thx for the hug

oh okay, i get you now! im in the UK, and im not sure what groups are out there. but im sure i can find something with a quick google search.

thanks, i hope you have a wonderful day <3

 

[HopefulSleep]

I am sorry I also hate it when people only contact me to hurt me

 

[deomlez]

oh okay, i get you now! im in the UK, and im not sure what groups are out there. but im sure i can find something with a quick google search.

thanks, i hope you have a wonderful day <3

We are not far... just a sleeve between us haha
I have made a quick search, found NAPAC for ex, but don t know if they are good or not... the website is correct. good luck.

 

[90starve]

I am sorry I also hate it when people only contact me to hurt me

yes - i think people who do this just require the attention. it's a very weird and abnormal behaviour :/

We are not far... just a sleeve between us haha
I have made a quick search, found NAPAC for ex, but don t know if they are good or not... the website is correct. good luck.

oh, so you must be france/belgium area!

i can see from the website that NAPAC have a helpline. i must say, i have never heard of them and may not be comfortable calling a helpline - i've never called one before! the idea of reaching out to charities like NAPAC terrifies me, although i'm sure they have good intentions.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds so awful what you've been through, it's horrible how humans just create more harm and suffering in this hellish world. But anyway best wishes.

 

[90starve]

That sounds so awful what you've been through, it's horrible how humans just create more harm and suffering in this hellish world. But anyway best wishes.

thankyou. i completely agree with you - a lot of our problems would be solved if humans were just wiped from existence.

hope you enjoy your day <3

 

[im already reading]

when i was 16, i was groomed by a 23 year old man. the abuse started small, but slowly started to turn more sinister as his alcohol consumption increased.

before i knew it, i was trapped - i was 16 years old, unemployed, i had dropped out of school, isolated from my peers, and nowhere else to live but with my abuser.

when i got my first job and rented property at 18, i was taken advantage of financially as well. i had absolutely nothing left and was just shattered into a million pieces - i turned to alcohol abuse with what little money i had left to myself.

i spent almost 3 years backed into a corner by this man. i had to endure endless mental torment and physical abuse. he would just sit and scream the nastiest of things at me for hours on end, everyday.

it seemed endless, and i felt i had no other option other than to take my life - then a year ago, i met somebody. my abuser finally slowly started to backed off.

but recently, he has started sending me emails. i just can't do this shit anymore! although i am now immune to his tricks, he's trying to sink his fangs back in again.

this recent contact is just a reminder that - no matter how much time or distance i have from this disgusting man, the damage that he has done to my life is irreversible. i am haunted by the things he did to me. i cannot bring myself even say his name.

i don't know how i am going to heal from this experience, or if i ever will. he is always going to exist in the world, and i feel like this will never be over until one of us is dead.

take screenshots and photos of it, tell 1 or 2 trusted people about what your gonna do, make it seem like your vunerable and weak and when he finally does/says something bad enough to take him to jail take it to the police with the evidence and other people to so they dont dismiss you, or file a restraining order

 

[Kerrtu]

when i was 16, i was groomed by a 23 year old man. the abuse started small, but slowly started to turn more sinister as his alcohol consumption increased.

before i knew it, i was trapped - i was 16 years old, unemployed, i had dropped out of school, isolated from my peers, and nowhere else to live but with my abuser.

when i got my first job and rented property at 18, i was taken advantage of financially as well. i had absolutely nothing left and was just shattered into a million pieces - i turned to alcohol abuse with what little money i had left to myself.

i spent almost 3 years backed into a corner by this man. i had to endure endless mental torment and physical abuse. he would just sit and scream the nastiest of things at me for hours on end, everyday.

it seemed endless, and i felt i had no other option other than to take my life - then a year ago, i met somebody. my abuser finally slowly started to backed off.

but recently, he has started sending me emails. i just can't do this shit anymore! although i am now immune to his tricks, he's trying to sink his fangs back in again.

this recent contact is just a reminder that - no matter how much time or distance i have from this disgusting man, the damage that he has done to my life is irreversible. i am haunted by the things he did to me. i cannot bring myself even say his name.

i don't know how i am going to heal from this experience, or if i ever will. he is always going to exist in the world, and i feel like this will never be over until one of us is dead.

Message me anytime

 

[deomlez]

You can send them a mail. But I understand it s hard... you are not forced to anything.
"Charity" sounds bad to me, it s like pity in french, bad notions for users.
(Sorry the website bugs since yesterday, my answer was postponed)

 

[MrDarkness]

I'm so sorry if you have to deal with this shit, sa abusers and abusers in general make me so fucking angry, those things aren't even people, they are demons in the clothes of humans. I hope you can find some justice. I fucking hate seeing wonderful people get hurt, over and over again

 

[Davey36000]

Report that fucker to the police. Even if nothing happens he will be afraid to continue.