Venting Mourning who I could’ve been

[willitpass]

I just saw some videos of this dad taking wonderful care of his children. Cooking meals for them. Going grocery shopping like a normal person. And it started to hit me how much I've lost. Not only did I have to give up on my lifelong desire to be a mom, but to see what someone gets where they go grocery shopping hit me harder than I thought. To leave with enough food to nourish yourself and your family. To not have to avoid looking at people in the grocery store because what if they notice my cart is just diet soda, baby food, prepackaged fruits and vegetable smackers, and anything with the word "light" on the packaging. Oh what Id give to go to the grocery store like a normal person. Oh what Id give to be healthy enough to have a child. What'd Id give to just be a human. I never thought someone grocery shopping would make me so emotional.