David Foster Wallace commited suicide 4 years after this short story. He kind of predicted his own suicide in this story. It is so obvious he partly talks about himself. Some points in this story resemble his own biography. In college he wrote a story about depression where he also kind of predicted his own suicide. But he was not that desperate to that time. One time I did a similar thing more or less openly. (Predicting my own suicide.) After my second psychosis I noticed that this illness (bipolar) is a repeating process. I kind of understood that there is no escape for me. I talked in front of many psychologist students about my suicide and why it is kind of inevitable. Partly it was out of desperation on the other hand it was against the stigmatization of suicidal people in the psychiatry. (where I was)
DFW tried a lot in order to prevent his suicide. One can google his list of medication he tried, he even tried ECT several times. In this story he describes how the protagonists fucks innumerable women in order to feel happy. (with no success) To admit I would like to try that too. However a girlfriend would probably be enough for me. But in order to try this recovery method you most likely need to be a succesful person. Lol
I often compare myself to people who have ctb. I don't know if that's good. With DFW I feel like in the same kind of boat. I really try a lot in order to avoid suicide but almost anything failed. His description of depression is so accurate. I never have read such good descriptions.
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