I can't help but understand that everybody involved is just doing it for me. No matter what crazy perspectives are thrust upon me by a delusional friend or relative, its all useful in context. Whether I like it or not, I am fond of the people working so hard to care for me, and I wish I had the energy to do the same. Being a burden is okay, I'd rather be berated by my father than have him not say anything. It almost doesn't feel personal. While there are, essentially political, differences in our stances on suicide, I only ever get frustrated in myself for being unable to reciprocate their perspectives effectively. Perhaps if I were a better listener I would not be browsing this forum, and I could use their mantras and help their collective spirits until I manage to suffer a few decades. As much as I resent them, I can't manage to be frustrated in anybody but myself.