Discussion Most annoying things people say to someone who is suicidal

[rainatthebusstop]

All time banger from my therapist "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem"

He's no longer my therapist

 

[hurb]

"U didnt try hard enough". If u took over my body u would be dead in a ditch by the age of 17 , fuck out of here

All time banger from my therapist "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem"

He's no longer my therapist

"Temporary problem" LMAOOO bro saw the quote in twitter and thought it was good

"Take more medicine"
If I have to medicate myself to the point I can't think or feel or care.. then why be alive?

Absolutely ! Fuck meds

"it's the most selfish thing you can do" man i don't give a fuck

Yeah cant a mf be selfish for once? Also its my fucking lifee

When they talk about 'but people love you how would they feel' like bruh. That's the whole point. It wouldn't matter, not my problem

Well if they love me , then their love is simply not enough.

The worst is "you're not alone in this". Yes I'm fucking alone in this lol, just coz I can talk to you doesn't diminish any of my problem.

Exactly we are fucking alone in this

"You've only just become an adult—your life has only just begun."

See when people say shit like ur life just began or u just became an adult, it rubs me extremely the wrong way.
Cause now i can clearly see we are not even in the same dimension. They act as if i have been day dreaming bout becoming an adult. Like nah thats the thing i never looked towards the future never wanted anything from this miserable existance

 

[Jamesbond]

Honest question, What do you want me to say? If i have a suicidal friend, what should i tell him if I see that hes are having a rough time or another episode?

Can you fix him? If not I don't understand what you can say or do.

 

[truehappiness]

Honest question, What do you want me to say? If i have a suicidal friend, what should i tell him if I see that hes are having a rough time or another episode?

That sounds a bit blunt now.
But nothing. Really, nothing.

Listen to him. Let him vent. Give some reassuring comments at time. Take him into your arms. Let him cry.
That is really all you can do.
Someone who is completely out of their mind can not be "convinced otherwise" in that moment.

Let him cry his heart out and when he is more stable again then talk with him about his problems and what options he can may take.
Don't go with the "look it will get better" approach. Because I can assure you that this does feel more like a slam in the face.
It is at times better to be just honest and say that you do not know an answer to that yourself.

And if he is over the tipping point and ready to go then offer him to be at his side during the end.
Just be there for him in his final moments.
Because dying alone is even worse than the fear of death itself

 

[Passenger4224]

"it's the most selfish thing you can do" man i don't give a fuck

No, they are the selfish ones 100%

"Don't make yourself a victim!" or "Don't give into being/becoming a victim! Be a survivor!"

So, me killing myself is me victimizing myself?? My mental illness, my parents abuse, my laundry list of misfortunes..... they don't mean anything. But me killing myself, that's me making myself the Victim. I've failed the moment I take my life! Fallen into self victimization!!! Ah! So stupid.

"You're letting youself be weak, be a survivor, not a victim."

Perhaps I am weak.

I've been a victim ever since I was born so nothing really changes here!

 

[death_by_life]

"You'll find a reason to live" is one I've heard a few times lately and its simply irritating.

One that I feel bad about getting annoyed by is just people asking "how was your day?", "how are you?", I feel bad because I know its a kind gesture or attempt at smalltalk but my answer never changes, "fine", which is tiring to repeat because its untrue, but saying I'm miserable whenever someone asks either makes me look attention-seeky or makes them pry for more details that I don't want to talk about.

OMG YES THIS ONE it's something I've been thinking a lot about in the last few weeks. I have to really think hard every time someone asks me how I'm doing because (I think) I'm naturally an honest person, so I want to answer honestly, but you can only do that so many times before people stop talking to you. It's hard to catch myself, but I'm starting to get better at lying about how I really feel and what's really happening, and trying to justify that by assuming that everything that's wrong or every problem I have is just a problem for me and not for anyone else, so it's something that I just have to deal with on my own. It's pretty isolating, but so is honesty, really.

 

[default]

when they say "but your friends/family/i will miss you so much. it feels so fake. most of the time they only actually care because you've told them that you're suicidal or when you're gone. but at the same time it won't matter to me whether or not they care because by then i'll be dead. i also agree with everyone else here.

 

[asfergrggdas]

"if you commit suicide, then you let them win" if winning is abusing someone for decades to the point where their life is ruined and they have zero hope and zero quality of life (literally at a rehab a few years ago they calculated my quality of life as a zero on a scale to 100), then I sure am happy to be a loser.

 

[GarGoil]

Honest question, What do you want me to say? If i have a suicidal friend, what should i tell him if I see that hes are having a rough time or another episode?

Sometimes, I really do not expect you to say anything that could relieve my suffering. I think I just want another human being to acknowledge my suffering. That is all. Nothing more, because there is often no action to take that can resolve my issues.

 

[death_by_life]

"Other people have it worse (and the variation: "and they're okay")." (They sure do, poor fuckers! That changes nothing for me, except for maybe feeling guilty, now. Thanks. Also, look up survivorship bias, you twit.)

"Find some joy/gratitude!" (If I could do that well enough, we wouldn't be having this conversation.)

"You've got to try harder." (Why the hell didn't I think of that?! Fucking BOOTSTRAPS is where it's at! Oh right, I don't have any boots.)

"You're going to be okay!" (Really? How long does that take? Because 40 years seems like kind of a long time...)

"It will get better!" (Yes! And then it will immediately get really bad again. The "better" is not a reliable narrator, bitch. The "bad" is pretty fucking reliable, actually.)

I've heard all of these things, and said them all myself at some point. Both to others, and to myself (most recently to myself, because ironically I know how shitty they are to say to other people but somehow gaslighting myself is less atrocious). I really struggle with these, because in a sense they're all true and *could* be used as a way to take another perspective. And once in a while that kinda sorta works for a minute. And the most ridiculous thing is that I study behavior and behavior change, and basically know how to do it. For other animals. Not for me. I don't know why I can do it for myself, other than that I think when I'm coaching other people, well... I'm there, coaching them. I don't have anyone doing that for me, all I have is people saying the above. It's a fundamental lack of resources.

 

[FadingSnowFake]

@OP, I think you might enjoy this thread.

Thread 'Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.' https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...anent-solution-to-a-temporary-problem.196921/

 

[TheTwelthRootOfTwo]

What are some of the things people say you find to be the most annoying? (And your responses if you have any?)

I cannot stand "It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem." ... Like cool I guess? I like having problems be permanently resolved.

And also, pro-lifers say people like me are 'mentally ill'. There are plenty of studies that show intelligent people are more likely to be depressed. I believe their definition of 'mental illness' is BS.

I don't know if this was already mentioned, but... suicide is selfish. Oh really? For, WHOM???

The other one is: well if you really felt that way, you wouldn't be talking about it. Right, because everyone just makes up their mind one way or another without any hesitation or ambivalence. Ticks me off.

What are some of the things people say you find to be the most annoying? (And your responses if you have any?)

I cannot stand "It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem." ... Like cool I guess? I like having problems be permanently resolved.

And also, pro-lifers say people like me are 'mentally ill'. There are plenty of studies that show intelligent people are more likely to be depressed. I believe their definition of 'mental illness' is BS.

When people say it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem, i just say, "Yeah, but life is a continuation of temporary problems".

 

[death_by_life]

@OP, I think you might enjoy this thread.

Thread 'Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.' https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...anent-solution-to-a-temporary-problem.196921/

That's fabulous! Very satisfying to read. thanks for the chuckle!

 

[Passenger4224]

@OP, I think you might enjoy this thread.

Thread 'Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.' https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...anent-solution-to-a-temporary-problem.196921/

LOL, loved it, thanks for sharing!!