More than anything I wish death would come peacefully

[FuneralCry]

Just another uninteresting post of talking about the same thing.
Everyday I wish I had a way to peacefully exit this world, it would be the greatest comfort knowing I could just leave. The problem is that I feel trapped. Even reading about hanging makes me feel uneasy, the fear of failure is the most horrible part. I have already failed at everything else in life and I do not want to add ctb to the list. Knowing that it could fail hurts me. Knowing that I might not be able to ever go through with this method brings me so much despair as I am trapped. No other methods would ever be possible for me. I deserve a peaceful death, I know I deserve so much better than this life. I want to die peacefully and I want my last moments to be filled with relief that it is all coming to an end.

My biggest fears are all my worst nightmares coming true and having no way out. Death would solve all my problems, I believe I will be safe in death, daydreaming of death is the only thing that gives me relief. I long for freedom from the endless cycle of misery. My life is devoid of anything that would make someone believe their life is worth living. Even if I try to distract myself there will never be anything but emptiness. Hopefully I will die in my sleep and then this pointless struggle will end.
If anybody ever reads this, sorry for wasting your time.

 

[TheHatedOne]

I'm sorry, I also feel trapped most of the time. This existence is really just a high security prison it's really difficult to get out of it, but I'm glad that this forum exists cause otherwise I wouldn't have known how to ctb.

Hanging is kinda unreliable method but it's interesting cause it's also the most used method of suicide in many countries and also used in execution where it applies.

Death means no more suffering and we should all be allowed to die if we desire so. Often times I think to myself "what if I got terminal illness?".

I'm sick of being kept here against my will because of " mUH SaNCTiTy OF LiFE" like no bro, some people truly don't want to live and suffer anymore. But instead of understanding they aggressively try to silence us.

I'm sorry I couldn't come with anything better. But know you're not alone in this. Many share your feelings. Sending hugs.

 

[Romeo1984]

I've thought about it a lot. I believe that any death to be peaceful needs to be quick. Even if it's quick, any attempt on its own is going to take some pain. Whether by anxiety, anguish in the final minutes. Perhaps being surprised (eg an unexpected shot) could be an alternative, but this requires being lucky enough to be close to a firefight. Another alternative would be to die sedated. However, by legal means, it is necessary to have suffered some serious trauma or serious illness. Anyway, there will be suffering before being sedated.

 

[Hirokami]

I can relate and I wish it were easier for people to ctb in more humane ways. I can't remember the last time I enjoyed living as my life has always been a roller coaster. I'm forced to live because I have responsibilities that I can barely commit to at the moment. I'm forced to live because people would try to stop me, even though I'm a burden and I know they'd be happier without me. And I'm forced to live because the more dependable methods are out of reach and I don't want to risk being in a vegetative state. No one should be forced to suffer all their life.

 

[Ta555]

I'm in the same boat as you, hanging is my go to and I am also scared. But at the end of the day sometimes my suffering is just too much and I need the way out. So now I'm focusing on visualising success and logically going through my plan. If you have a proper rope and anchor point and can be left alone for let's say an hour there's no reason it would fail. The fears we have is just overthinking just like I said in my post the other day. It doesn't make any sense of how it would fail if we have a good rope and a good anchor. That's what I tell myself. Also I'd be securing my hands and also using duct tape as a precaution. I don't see anymore point in worrying about failure when i know I have all the right equipment.

 

[The_Dreamer]

I know what you mean. I own a handgun and despite knowing it's difficult to fail a proper self inflicted gunshot, that doesnt change the fact that it's horribly brutal and violent and the opposite of peaceful. The exact opposite way I'd prefer to CTB. I think we all have those dreams to just one day have a magical button to push to send you off without pain or suffering. Knowing that day isn't ever coming is brutal in it's own way.

Some days I wonder... What if I never work up that courage to CTB? Is there a series of events that need to happen to bring me to that point if my rock bottom wasn't enough? Would I genuinely be able to just suck it up for the remainder of my natural life? Like just find a monotonous job and just post up alone in an apartment for another, oh idk, 40 or 50 more years?

All we can really do is just take it one day at a time I guess, only solace we have is there will come a day, whether we are prepared or not, where we WILL be set free from this chaos to that eternal dreamless sleep.

It will come for you too, one day. For our sake, we can only hope that it comes soon.

 

[NormaJeane]

We did not create ourselves, but we have to live with ourselves - we must suffer in life just because our parents have had children. All people want a peaceful death, but only a few people in the society of today can die peacefully. We may be forced to live 100 years if we want to die peacefully in our sleep. Many things in life is suffering; birth is painful, diseases, chronic pain, poverty, injustices, age-related ailments and most death processes are painful. On the savannah, humans were killed by lions for thousands of years. In the civilization, poor people have always been tormented the most, poor people had the worst death penalty. I am not one of the lucky ones who can have a lethal injection (maybe it will be possible in the future) so I have to accept a painful death, which people have had in all ages. Suicide is only a matter of time.

 

[trulyfeelhopeless]

Just another uninteresting post of talking about the same thing.
Everyday I wish I had a way to peacefully exit this world, it would be the greatest comfort knowing I could just leave. The problem is that I feel trapped. Even reading about hanging makes me feel uneasy, the fear of failure is the most horrible part. I have already failed at everything else in life and I do not want to add ctb to the list. Knowing that it could fail hurts me. Knowing that I might not be able to ever go through with this method brings me so much despair as I am trapped. No other methods would ever be possible for me. I deserve a peaceful death, I know I deserve so much better than this life. I want to die peacefully and I want my last moments to be filled with relief that it is all coming to an end.

My biggest fears are all my worst nightmares coming true and having no way out. Death would solve all my problems, I believe I will be safe in death, daydreaming of death is the only thing that gives me relief. I long for freedom from the endless cycle of misery. My life is devoid of anything that would make someone believe their life is worth living. Even if I try to distract myself there will never be anything but emptiness. Hopefully I will die in my sleep and then this pointless struggle will end.
If anybody ever reads this, sorry for wasting your time.

I wish for this as well and the thoughts you have are like a replica of what's going on in my head as well. I wish you peace in any moment you can have it