TAW122
Emissary of the right to die.
- Aug 30, 2018
- 6,821
Here are so many more pro-life shittery on reddit's SW sub. Of course, it's no surprise as they are an anti-suicide subreddit and has an iron-clad sentiment of "suicide is never the answer" even in philosophical contexts. It's also full of guilt-trips and shames, all about society and (almost) never about the person suffering. It is also very presumptuous for them to assume mental illness and the patronizing, child-like treatment of the poster reaching out is just utterly vile.
Just by reading all the replies to those poster's threads are just despicable. Even in one of the threads, people are just blowing smoke about "finding a reason to live" assuming that there is a purpose in life or something "worth" living for. Whether there is or not, it's relative and subjective towards the person, never mind religion even getting involved.
By u/Pogofiremaster
By u/DeathisaDoor
By u/Agent102
By u/Sirp0tat0
By u/ok8732
Almost all the comments on these posters' threads are just annoying and patronizing. Some of them resort to guilt tripping and shaming to invalidate the posters' grievances and struggles. It is also really presumptuous for many of the people responding to the posters to think that they are looking to 'live' when in fact those posters have already made their decision. Their decision to CTB are NOT being respected by the people who are responding to them.
Just by reading all the replies to those poster's threads are just despicable. Even in one of the threads, people are just blowing smoke about "finding a reason to live" assuming that there is a purpose in life or something "worth" living for. Whether there is or not, it's relative and subjective towards the person, never mind religion even getting involved.
By u/Pogofiremaster
I kinda feel at peace now that I've committed.
I posted yesterday, but some things changed between now and then. I planned to buy a gun today, and end it this afternoon. Well, the gun I wanted to buy had been sold, so I had to fill out a whole new form and go through the process again. Oh well. Got delayed, so now I have to wait until Friday to pick it up.
But here's the thing. I'm religious personally, and I know God was throwing everything in my way to keep me from swiping my card and committing to that shotgun. I had a friend call me out of nowhere today, that I hadn't talked to in months, because she wanted to check in on me and see how I was doing. One of my coworkers walked past me and looked me dead in the eye and said "you need to talk? I don't think you're okay." Little did she know I'd been reading about shotgun suicides for the last 3 hours. Then I had another friend text me this morning saying that she loved me and I was a great friend. Completely unprompted.
After all that love, I still went to the store. And when I got there, there was an elderly couple that was taking forever at the register. They were bargaining and haggling with the clerk. There was only one employee in the store, and a whole bunch of people waiting to be helped. I was so hungry, and was tempted to just walk away and say fuck it. But I stayed, and an hour and a half later, I walked away with a box of ammo and a receipt for my gun. God tried to stop me, but I'm committed this time. Come Friday, I can finally say goodbye. And honestly? I feel a sense of peace with that. The dark thoughts, the pain, the anger, the sadness, they're not as loud anymore. Now that I know I have a guaranteed way out coming, I'm not angry anymore. I'm at peace. I'm ready to let go.
By u/DeathisaDoor
I drove a state away to buy a shotgun
Since in my current state I couldn't purchase one due to having a restraining order and a psychiatric history. It gives me a lot of relief knowing that I can leave anytime I want by just jumping in my car and driving to a remote location. The only thing that really anchors me right now is my mother. She loves me dearly and I can't imagine the psychological damage I would do to her in the act of taking my own life.
And yet I feel like her love isn't enough. I can't endure my life for anyone. For a lover, for a parent, for anyone. I am failing to find the drive in me to keep going. To deal with the day to day reality of just being alive. My mood goes up and down but one of these days I think I'm going to dip too low and simply drive away and blow my brains out due to the negative momentum.
There's always the chance I could survive a gunshot or the gun itself would jam or something... but I really do feel like I have a grip on Death's Door.
By u/Agent102
I've qualified for a handgun permit. Yay!
All I have to do now is get my address updated, pick the thing up and I'll be done with the bureaucratic part of getting a gun. So that I can kill myself the right way. In a way that will actually work, but won't completely blow my head off like a shotgun will.
I used to think that if I got a decent job and got to move out on my own I'd be happy. Like I'd become a different person. A person I'd actually like to be. Someone who can make friends. Like real friends, close ones and girlfriends. Not just getting along with people at work.
Looking back I've been doing this all my life. High school sucks and people are shallow, but it ends and it will get better I used to tell myself. Then it ended, I went to college and I was still a lazy coward. I blamed still having to live at home with parents to save money. Can't get a girl if you have to take her back to your parents place to do anything right? Yeah, that's the excuse I told myself for never trying at all.
Then that ended and now I live alone. I have a respectable job that supports me. Same deal, still alone just like always and honestly much fewer ways to meet people, women especially, than when I was in school. But that's not the problem. That's just a new excuse. The problem is me. The lazy, depressed for no reason sack of shit I am. The problem is I won't try, because I'm lazy and afraid.
I could try dating apps, but do I? No. I sit alone in my house, this place that I used to be so happy to have, but now feels like a prison that I confine myself to; just like what happened with my job. I pine after the idea of having a girlfriend or friends to hang out with as if that will be the thing that makes everything better. I bitch about it online like I'm doing now. It's probably a blessing that I'm so intimidated and don't try because being with me would probably be awful. I'd become a terrible boyfriend, just like I became a terrible employee at a job I used to care so much for. I'll probably get fired soon. I kinda hope I do.
It doesn't matter. I'll learn to hate any situation I'm in and anyone I get to care about me will suffer seeing me suffer for stupid, nothing reasons.
I don't want to drag myself into work everyday and do that boring job for the better part of the day, so I can go home and distract myself with a game I don't care about or some movie or show. This isn't the life I want to live, but it's the best I know how to get and at this point all I really want is to just go to sleep and not wake up.
That won't happen to a healthy 24 year old, so I'm getting the gun. I really, really hope death is oblivion, but even if it's not then I have to die at some point, so why not go ahead, die quickly and spare myself and everyone else the part where I have to live?
By u/Sirp0tat0
Why is suicide not the answer?
I do not have any suicidal tendancies but I actually want to know the answer, everyone always says it is not the answer but never says why.
If someone truly is suffering and does not want to live anymore why isnt he allowed to choose suicide?
By u/ok8732
I've had enough: I'm killing myself on Sunday
Tomorrow, I'll write my note. After that, I will blow every cent I have (not much) on a day of debauchery. Alcohol, food, hookers, and drugs. A "going away" party if you will, except I'm going away forever. On Sunday, I buy the gun and pull the trigger that night.
I don't quite know why I'm posting this here. I guess I just wanted to tell someone. I can't be talked out of it, because every logical rational piece of information objectively says I should end my life. I have no family, no friends, no lover, a dead end job, etc. On top of that, I'm an atheist so I can't depend on God/Jesus to give my life meaning or scare me out of suicide. I was born to die. The only thing that's kept me around so far is the survival instinct of my lizard brain. But I've finally overcome that now.
To those of you seeking help, good luck in finding your way through this cruel world. To my fellow brothers and sisters on the same path as me...see you on the other side.
Almost all the comments on these posters' threads are just annoying and patronizing. Some of them resort to guilt tripping and shaming to invalidate the posters' grievances and struggles. It is also really presumptuous for many of the people responding to the posters to think that they are looking to 'live' when in fact those posters have already made their decision. Their decision to CTB are NOT being respected by the people who are responding to them.
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