Discussion More afraid of the aftermath of suicide than suicide itself .

[epic]

I will chug, lean back and transcend . A 30 min process of sheer terror but something I can handle. How do I handle years of torment people around me will face due to my deed ?is is something much more terrifying to me than suicide itself.
- Emotional trauma to the people around
- Family forever labelled as __ of someone who committed suicide.
- Failing people's expectations

Sometimes I feel animals are better off than us in this regard. When they are dying all they have to worry about is their own death.
Do you feel the same way or is it just me ?

 

[Lo Priest]

in regards to these better off animals, they are only freer in terms of their lack of conceptualization as dominion. our fear of being a _____ in the eyes of another fellow human, or even god forbid, a _____(!), it's all a load of oysteryolk in terms of the broader earthly baseline. hogwash i dare say. i feel you, you must've gone your life in whole cemented in this worry. of the others! if they think im this or that— i can't continue… i feel you… You will not 'handle' those years of torment, you simply wouldn't 'be'. you're only feeling this same torment you've seemingly always felt, take that a will to move on in life, or a will to move on in death, it's all the same to me. i wish only all the best you (your true i) would feel towards yourself. safe travels

 

[SilentSadness]

I personally don't feel an obligation to relieve anyone of suffering when they are the ones that selfishly brought me into this world and forced me to stay here. I certainly don't care about "failing expectations". However if it brings you suffering to think about this then it is definitely valid, and our deaths are certainly so unnecessarily messy. If only people didn't have children in the first place, there would be no need to have such a messy exit. I hope you find peace.

 

[Homo erectus]

If a person does matter in real life, or is able to solve problems, he wouldn't think about ending his life. If a person can't solve problems, even if he hangs around, he is not going to help anyone, change anything or make things any better. The fear of death is great for many people. It takes a lot of effort to overcome.

 

[Kundalini Guy]

If a person does matter in real life, or is able to solve problems, he wouldn't think about ending his life. If a person can't solve problems, even if he hangs around, he is not going to help anyone, change anything or make things any better. The fear of death is great for many people. It takes a lot of effort to overcome.

Bullshit. Someones life mattering has nothing to do with solving problems, after all, problems are just one of the many obstacles and challenges in life.

 

[Homo erectus]

Bullshit. Someones life mattering has nothing to do with solving problems, after all, problems are just one of the many obstacles and challenges in life.

Yes, if someone's life doesn't matter then it really doesn't matter if he stays around.

 

[depressedlover]

I'm in the same situation,i have everything,i'm not afraid of it .I'm only afraid of what happens after I'm gone.I sometimes wish i was born in a country where suicide was treated as a normal occurrence,no stigmatization but unfortunately i live in a country where its not only illegal but also a taboo.

 

[QiTianDaSheng]

'permanant solution to a temporary problem'

Dunno, my permanent problems seem to find temporay solutions bandaids.

I wanted to outlive my grandma to save her the pain. I wanted to make it look like an accident to save my parents.

Frankly, now, I don't give a shit anymore. I always gave it another go, kept retrying, and always became less employable and valued by society.

Grandma is a shame, but she might have another 10 years. But my parents are so boomer egotistical they will shrug it off.

I'm more worried about my friends though. The few that have stuck by me. I'd gladly die for them, but I can't live for them. Nor my dog.

The bullshit never ends.

 

[ThisIsLife]

My son died 4 months ago. He and his friend od'd on morphine together at the same time. It's not clear if it was intentional or not.
All i can say is that the only thing that "reassured" me is knowing that he didn't suffer. It's a very important factor to me and even though i'm going to CTB because i can't live without him, i can only take a guess that it'll be important for those who love you to be able to grief.

"Family forever labelled as __ of someone who committed suicide" and "Failing people's expectations" are not something you should even worry about. Whatever you'll do you'll never have control over people's thoughts, but you can do something about how the loved ones will feel.

A painless method is the best for you and those you'll leave behind.

 

[epic]

My son died 4 months ago. He and his friend od'd on morphine together at the same time.

My God ! I am so sorry to hear that.

All i can say is that the only thing that "reassured" me is knowing that he didn't suffer. It's a very important factor to me and even though i'm going to CTB because i can't live without him, i can only take a guess that it'll be important for those who love you to be able to grief.

Thank you for keeping it honest with me , this is exactly what I am terrified of. Pushing my parents to the edge . I will keep your advice in mind .

I didn't know your son but if he indeed had done it intentionally , he must have had the exact same dilemma I have right now. He would not want to see you suicidal . He would have wanted you to move on with your life and only remember him every now and then. How can I possibly know this ? I can't know for sure , but I know that is what I want for my mom (and hence this thread).

Lots of love.