Money

[JoeFailure]

I just hate it so much. It's what's driving me to CTB so hard and I wish I could just stop it. I keep telling myself that many people are worse off than me. I'm not thinking clearly at all because of it. I have constant, heart pounding anxiety because of it and I can't function well.

I wish I could just turn it off. I don't need much in life, my brain just won't agree with it. I can get by and help people and just spread some love. I wish I had money so I could go back to school and do something in special ed, but even without that I could figure out other ways to help others. I just wish my body and brain would listen to that.

I don't know if I'll be able to make it though. Does anyone have experience with anxiety meds that really work? I'm really struggling to keep it together.

 

[Soul]

Joe sweetie do you have medical insurance? Please talk with a doctor - my meds may or may not work for you the same way as they work for me. I took Pramolan for several years - it's really mild but it helped me cope with some scary stuff without panic attacks. It's very old-school, though, and there's probably something new that does a better job.

Your goals are so great, and you're such a kind man - I really want to help you but a doctor is way better situated to do that. (((Hugs)))

 

[alizee]

I've read academic research that 70% of people commit suicide because of financial reasons.

Honestly suicide is better than being a slave in the economic culture of today. Even the news media reports how suicide rate is on the rise but never linking how the costs for everything is rising with wages staying relatively low compared to the boomer generation.

Now there is a push for millennials to all be on antidepressants. Basically to drug themselves and ease their life (a slow death) of a worthless experiences day by day compared to the past. When you could afford to buy a house with a mediocre salary and even attend university while paying it off with a summer job.

 

[TimeToDie]

Does anyone have experience with anxiety meds that really work? I'm really struggling to keep it together.

I spent many years posting to a social anxiety forum and there were three drug classes that were by far the most popular with folks there: benzodiazepines, MAOIs, and amphetamines. Benzos were like sugar pills even at sky high doses (10 mg per day of Xanax), though they tend to work for most people if the dose is high enough. They can be difficult to get, or at least difficult to get in a sufficiently high dose to a vastly exaggerated fear of "addiction" (which is different from dependency). MAOIs, specifically Nardil, can be effective for anxiety. Nardil stands alone in it's ability to raise levels of GABA. Various drugs, including benzos, act on GABA, but Nardil is the only one to actually raise levels of it. They're worth a shot even if they failed me.

It may seem counterintuitive by amphetamines can actually have a calming effects and I'm not the only person to have noticed this. And even if they don't calm you they may at least put you in a better mood. Prior to the introduction of antidepressants in the 1950s depression was commonly treated with amphetamines.

I've read academic research that 70% of people commit suicide because of financial reasons.

Money is one of my reasons, though it's not the main reason. I'm defending myself against a lawsuit which has been dragging on for 2 years and so far I've spend $100,000 on a lawyer and it would cost me another $460,000 to settle out of court. That's a hell of a lot less to fund my future, and so much stuff that I can't have. Additionally, I will not receive any Social Security nor Medicare upon turning 65 as I never worked (disabled due to social phobia). I could have received SS & Medicare for the last 28 years if only I had medical records to substantiate that I was disabled prior to the age of 22. I failed to get treatment decades ago so I don't have such medical records. All it would have taken was a doctor to write in his file that "patient has severe social phobia" back in the early 1990s and I would have been set for life.

 

[LaBrava]

I've read academic research that 70% of people commit suicide because of financial reasons.

Honestly suicide is better than being a slave in the economic culture of today. Even the news media reports how suicide rate is on the rise but never linking how the costs for everything is rising with wages staying relatively low compared to the boomer generation.

Now there is a push for millennials to all be on antidepressants. Basically to drug themselves and ease their life (a slow death) of a worthless experiences day by day compared to the past. When you could afford to buy a house with a mediocre salary and even attend university while paying it off with a summer job.

Exactly this. As a Gen xer I look at the boomers with intense envy - so many of them have had an easy passage through a job for life, cheap housing and a generously funded retirement with money to burn. Whereas I'm screwed and destined to CTB

 

[SinisterKid]

I think money worries and anxiety go hand in hand. Anxiety makes you worry about many things, even without good reasons to do so, its the nature of the beast. Thankfully, right now, money is the least of my worries. But that does not prevent me being crippled some days by anxiety.

I take Propranolol which helps lessen the impact of panic attacks, which give me a very high heartrate. But the actual symptoms of anxiety itself are not affected by it at all. I am not going to add more medication to my ever growing list, I just either deal with it best way I can, or I just let it run its course. Its torture some days, but what can we do?

 

[KnightOfEnceladus]

Money is what's going to do me in too, or rather lack of it. I've never been well off, have often been poor, and am now in outright food-insecure, utilities-missing poverty. I'm tired of always doing the right thing only to suffer and be used and thrown away like garbage by privileged people who've never slept in a train station or eaten from a dumpster. I've had enough. The situation isn't going to get any better on the macroeconomic scale for a long time; in fact, it's looking like it's all about to go straight to hell. Marginal people like me die slow, lingering, cruel deaths when that happens. Fuck that noise; if I see the grim reaper staring at me from across the room, I'm not going to keep her waiting to dance.

 

[Empty Smile]

I work cause I have to pay bills to keep lights, water, etc...

I hate that I have to work just to give my money away.

Just makes me more determined to either ctb, or disappear into the wilderness.

 

[GeorgeJL]

If it wasn't for psych medication I would have ended my life a long time ago.