struggles_inc
life is a highway and i wanna wreck my car
- Jun 24, 2023
- 273
I guess my last name should be Suicide bruh. Sorry, idk how to start this.
I guess it started with my dad. He was a veteran, surely had PTSD and/or depression. He fucked up his health as much as possible, with his genetic heart condition (that I inherited) getting worse every year. He neglected his health and refused medication till the very end, when he was hospitalised for the last time.
Then this behaviour passed down to my mom. She started neglecting her health and her safety. I mean it. We're Russian, and since our country started the invasion, life's been unstable, with drones exploding and civilians killing each other. I moved to another country, but my mom doesn't want to do anything for her safety. I invited her on multiple occasions and she responded that she would just be a bother to me, which is fucking not true.
Even before that, we once found a lump on her. I couldn't convince her to go to a doctor for a WEEK. I finally convinced her when I brought home a signed document from my university, saying that I'm dropping out. I said she had a day to go to a doctor before I submit this paperwork. She had an operation and made a recovery, eventually, but the process was FUCKING HELL because she did not want to do anything.
Today I talked to her about her health again, and how she should get it checked out. It ended in a fight. Making her care for herself is such a torment. And I just…
If you fucking hate life so much, if you don't care what happens to you, why would you bring me into this world? Why was I born, then, if both my parents despise life so much?
I don't know what I'm supposed to do to make her drop this act. I'm frankly so done with her self-neglect.
I'm starting to understand why people here on Sasu say that you can't be suicidal if you decide to have kids.
I guess it started with my dad. He was a veteran, surely had PTSD and/or depression. He fucked up his health as much as possible, with his genetic heart condition (that I inherited) getting worse every year. He neglected his health and refused medication till the very end, when he was hospitalised for the last time.
Then this behaviour passed down to my mom. She started neglecting her health and her safety. I mean it. We're Russian, and since our country started the invasion, life's been unstable, with drones exploding and civilians killing each other. I moved to another country, but my mom doesn't want to do anything for her safety. I invited her on multiple occasions and she responded that she would just be a bother to me, which is fucking not true.
Even before that, we once found a lump on her. I couldn't convince her to go to a doctor for a WEEK. I finally convinced her when I brought home a signed document from my university, saying that I'm dropping out. I said she had a day to go to a doctor before I submit this paperwork. She had an operation and made a recovery, eventually, but the process was FUCKING HELL because she did not want to do anything.
Today I talked to her about her health again, and how she should get it checked out. It ended in a fight. Making her care for herself is such a torment. And I just…
If you fucking hate life so much, if you don't care what happens to you, why would you bring me into this world? Why was I born, then, if both my parents despise life so much?
I don't know what I'm supposed to do to make her drop this act. I'm frankly so done with her self-neglect.
I'm starting to understand why people here on Sasu say that you can't be suicidal if you decide to have kids.
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