I ordered SN about a year ago after my partner died. It's been sitting in my pantry that entire time. Waiting. I haven't been able to bring myself to do it, although its brought me so much comfort having it there. On really bad days I pull it out knowing I can end things anytime I want to. Last week, I was out of town and my mom found it while cat sitting for me. She hasn't mentioned it she just wrote a note saying she couldn't allow me to do it and took it. Tonight I was struggling and went to grab it and it was gone, thats when I saw her note with my opened "In case it happens" note. I think she thought I would have this big moment of realization and that I would want to live, but it really just made me mad. I feel like I should have every ability to choose if I want to live or not as a 32 year old adult.
I just ordered another 200 grams. It will be here in about a week.
I just ordered another 200 grams. It will be here in about a week.
