Venting missing intimacy</3

[hikikomorizombie]

ppl are only good for temporary warmth & i am missing said temporary warmth like a mf rn :// this literally never happens to me anymore. it's such a deep, pervasive ache. it's making me reminisce abt things i don't want to reminisce abt. i swear i can feel phantom hands on my skin, taunting me w what i once had & never will again. sometimes i think abt just hopping on tinder to satiate the desire for physical touch, but i don't want it if there's no emotion/connection behind it. i miss being putty in some1's very large hands. the vulnerability that comes with an intimidating size difference, yet it makes me feel so safe. the tender & soft moments that happen before, during, & after; even if things get a bit depraved.

truly nothing can come close to the feeling of another person. hand in hand body to body. feel like ripping my skin off at the thought of never getting to experience that again, lol. esp before i die. even the best high is just an attempt to get close to that comfortable, warm feeling 1 more time. & there were still so many things i wanted to try</3

god i can't wait for the yearning to pass. my total apathy, come back!!!

 

[carnivalforone]

real

 

[looksminnedautist]

Its over

 

[hikikomorizombie]

real

i'm sorry u can relate bestiei h8 that for us</3

 

[Adûnâi]

truly nothing can come close to the feeling of another person. hand in hand body to body. feel like ripping my skin off at the thought of never getting to experience that again, lol.

I have never been touched by a human since I was 5.

 

[Leavesfromthevine]

I never understood the desire for physical and emotional affection. For the longest time I never experienced it so I thought I just had to experience to understand it but now that I've had it I still don't understand. It gives such a warm feeling but the emptiness that follows just isn't worth it for me.

 

[hikikomorizombie]

I never understood the desire for physical and emotional affection. For the longest time I never experienced it so I thought I just had to experience to understand it but now that I've had it I still don't understand. It gives such a warm feeling but the emptiness that follows just isn't worth it for me.

i'm sorry u feel empty afterwards, that sucks & would def negate the pleasure of the experience :// i've never felt that emptiness, & it's the main reason why i refuse to try hookups :p i need emotional connection too, not just physical. there's nothing better than having both of those needs fulfilled, but 1 w/o the other fucks it all up.

 

[Toobrokentofix]

I have been without intimacy for years. I have huge hang ups about my body Nd feel its been ruined. However, recently I have craved the warmth of someone else's touch. Kinda hope I will get to experience this again before I die. Even my nurse reminded me the last person I had an intimate relationship with was a narcissistic a***hole and how do I feel about him potentially being my last... I feel like that kinda sucks! Lol

 

[Aesthetic guy]

 

[hikikomorizombie]

I have been without intimacy for years. I have huge hang ups about my body Nd feel its been ruined. However, recently I have craved the warmth of someone else's touch. Kinda hope I will get to experience this again before I die. Even my nurse reminded me the last person I had an intimate relationship with was a narcissistic a***hole and how do I feel about him potentially being my last... I feel like that kinda sucks! Lol

wow :o that's my exact situation too! down to the last guy being a narcissistic asshole part, lol. i h8 that for usit's been basically a year for me & i hadn't cared @ all or given it much thought, but now out of nowhere i'm missing it & feeling that good ole wanting again. i wish i could get some 1 last time before i die too, but unfortunately for me that's not plausiblei wish u luck though!! :) hopefully it'll come true for u<3 we can't both lose right??? lol.

 

[Adûnâi]

I wish I had a narcissistic asshole gf. A dozen, please.

 

[carnivalforone]

I wish I had a narcissistic asshole gf. A dozen, please.

real

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I wish I had a narcissistic asshole gf. A dozen, please.

Same.

 

[hikikomorizombie]

I wish I had a narcissistic asshole gf. A dozen, please.

why do guys want mean, bitchy, abusive girls??it's always mystified me. just seems like the opposite of what you'd want for a loving & nurturing relationship.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

why do guys want mean, bitchy, abusive girls??it's always mystified me. just seems like the opposite of what you'd want for a nurturing relationship.

Well personally I'd sure prefer one who's nice and respectful and supportive but you know what they say, beggars can't be choosers. Not like I get much opportunity to choose anyway though.

 

[KafkaF]

ppl are only good for temporary warmth & i am missing said temporary warmth like a mf rn :// this literally never happens to me anymore. it's such a deep, pervasive ache. it's making me reminisce abt things i don't want to reminisce abt. i swear i can feel phantom hands on my skin, taunting me w what i once had & never will again. sometimes i think abt just hopping on tinder to satiate the desire for physical touch, but i don't want it if there's no emotion/connection behind it. i miss being putty in some1's very large hands. the vulnerability that comes with an intimidating size difference, yet it makes me feel so safe. the tender & soft moments that happen before, during, & after; even if things get a bit depraved.

truly nothing can come close to the feeling of another person. hand in hand body to body. feel like ripping my skin off at the thought of never getting to experience that again, lol. esp before i die. even the best high is just an attempt to get close to that comfortable, warm feeling 1 more time. & there were still so many things i wanted to try</3

god i can't wait for the yearning to pass. my total apathy, come back!!!

Yeah, I pretty much feel the same way. You described it well.

Today, I'm embarassed to admit, I was laying in bed. I softly stroked my hand along my shoulder and pretended for a moment it was someone else.

I need it so badly. To just be touched, hugged, carassed, kissed, fucked. To look into someone's eyes and feel their soft skin against mine.

I need love. I need intimacy. Really above all I need her though.

 

[hikikomorizombie]

Well personally I'd sure prefer one who's nice and respectful and supportive but you know what they say, beggars can't be choosers. Not like I get much opportunity to choose anyway though.

i believe that beggars can be choosers!! i settled w my 1st bf/talking stage guy thing, lol, & i always regretted it. try & wait till u get some1 u deserve or @ least want<333 it's just that 99.9% of ppl suck. it's def them & not us

 

[HereTomorrow]

I can't put into words how much I miss intimacy, especially cuddling. When I used to be in high school I had a friend who cuddled me (in a SFW friendship way) on the bus rides there and back every day. I graduated years ago and they moved away but I still yearn for that feeling again.
I'm one of those people who wants an IRL emotional connection, and haven't really benefited from those cuddle parties from people I barely know or those messages going "aww I wish I could hug you rn".
Touch starvation is a real emotionally agonizing feeling I'm ashamed of being a part of. I just want a genuine hug man. Someone I can be vulnerable with. Body pillows aren't real enough.

 

[hikikomorizombie]

I can't put into words how much I miss intimacy, especially cuddling. When I used to be in high school I had a friend who cuddled me (in a SFW friendship way) on the bus rides there and back every day. I graduated years ago and they moved away I still yearn for that feeling again.
I'm one of those people who wants an IRL emotional connection, and haven't really benefited from those cuddle parties from people I barely know or those messages going "aww I wish I could hug you rn".
Touch starvation is a real emotionally agonizing feeling I'm ashamed of being a part of. I just want a genuine hug man. Someone I can be vulnerable with. Body pillows aren't real enough. It's one thing I'm hoping can happen once again in my lifetime.

omggg u had a platonic cuddlebuddy?? that must've been a dream. & i def get u :p it's so easy to fulfill the physical part of it, but it's like mission impossible trying to fulfill the emotional part too. & u can't have 1 w/o the other, or it fucks all of it upi really hope u get to experience it again before u die<333 @ least 1 of us should get to, lol.

 

[LastLoveLetter]

Touch starvation is a real emotionally agonizing feeling I'm ashamed of being a part of. I just want a genuine hug man.

Can very much relate to that. I want to be held more than anything else.

I don't want sexual contact. Sex has been too traumatic and painful for me physically and emotionally, given my abuse history and it's not like I can ever trust anyone to touch me in that way. I do experience desire, but can't act upon it as a result of these factors and my chronic illnesses.

But I do yearn for intimacy and human contact. I just want a cuddle. I want to feel safe enough with another human being to be able to connect, and actually hold and be held in return. The absence of simple care and companionship is awful, and can relate to that feeling of being starved of affection and touch.

 

[SexyIncél]

why do guys want mean, bitchy, abusive girls??it's always mystified me. just seems like the opposite of what you'd want for a loving & nurturing relationship.

If true, I'd guess lots of guys get bored by the good girl, because they haven't found interestingness in themselves. They suspect she's right to bitch at them

omggg u had a platonic cuddlebuddy?? that must've been a dream. & i def get u :p it's so easy to fulfill the physical part of it, but it's like mission impossible trying to fulfill the emotional part too. & u can't have 1 w/o the other, or it fucks all of it upi really hope u get to experience it again before u die<333 @ least 1 of us should get to, lol.

People should get something kinda like universal basic income, but for touch. Like, people would join a cuddle corps or something

 

[Adûnâi]

why do guys want mean, bitchy, abusive girls??it's always mystified me. just seems like the opposite of what you'd want for a loving & nurturing relationship.

The only abuse I wouldn't bear would be cuckoldry... And even that could be alleviated if the guy is cute enough, it's like lesbian then.

Seriously, the stories of intimate abuse make me so jealous (of the abused). I'd like any relationship at all. I'm effectively a genetic abomination, have not had anykind of socialisation when others have neve stopped socialising since the age of 5.

 

[LastLoveLetter]

Can vouch for the fact that being abused, brutalised, raped etc is nothing to be "jealous" of. Absolutely sympathise with the pain of prolonged isolation but would give anything personally to have not endured such horrors.

 

[Dot]

The only abuse I wouldn't bear would be cuckoldry... And even that could be alleviated if the guy is cute enough, it's like lesbian then.

Seriously, the stories of intimate abuse make me so jealous (of the abused). I'd like any relationship at all. I'm effectively a genetic abomination, have not had anykind of socialisation when others have neve stopped socialising since the age of 5.

Am srry fr th/ isolatn & lonlinss tht u r feelng & th/ suffrng tht cmes alng wth tht

Am nt wantng tke awy ur chancs t/ vnt bt @ sme tme voicng envy @ othr ppl trama cn b v upsttng fr thm also

Slf wld imagne tht sme1 sayng t/ u 'am jeals of ur peac & qut' whn tht 'peac & qut' = lke silnt screamng 2 u wld b upsttng

Slf wld jst remmbr tht neithr u nor thse ppl xperncng intm8 abse r xperncng b-ing lovd -- tht absnce wll stll b thre fr bth of u & wll bth b xperncng damge frm thse Nvirnmnts

 

[Slow_Farewell]

Same as @Leavesfromthevine : tried it, happy to have experienced it.
I get why it's great, but in terms of R/R i cant say it's worth it.
Aside from that, since most human desires are a result of chemical mixtures in the brain, then it would follow that once these triggers are identified then one can, to some extent, control the intensity of the needs/urges.
Al Pacino's character said it best in The Devil's Advocate(yeah it's when Keanu Reeves asks about Love, but can also apply). "Love? Overrated. Biochemically no different from eating large quantities of chocolate"

 

[Dot]

Jeez you should run the whole site what with your common sense answers and pointers. You make too much sense too often

Ha slf hve 0 intrst in doin tht

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Al Pacino's character said it best in The Devil's Advocate(yeah it's when Keanu Reeves asks about Love, but can also apply). "Love? Overrated. Biochemically no different from eating large quantities of chocolate"

I have some problems with this quote. Eating lots of chocolate can give you type 2 diabetes, which I already have.

 

[Have_a_nice_Life]

i'm sorry u feel empty afterwards, that sucks & would def negate the pleasure of the experience :// i've never felt that emptiness, & it's the main reason why i refuse to try hookups :p i need emotional connection too, not just physical. there's nothing better than having both of those needs fulfilled, but 1 w/o the other fucks it all up.

Damn yeah exactly, i don't understand how people sometimes don't have any regards for shared intimacy with an emotional connection. They just do it with whoever comes by. This sight deeply pains me as I too long for emotional connection and am not interested in sex without feelings like that shit sucks for real it's nothing more than masturbation .

 

[voidstar]

My partner quit alcohol 5 years ago, before that we had sex daily, cuddled, kissed, soft touches in-between and all the good shit. But since he quit we're basically flatmates who occasionally give each other a quick kiss or a hug and holy fuck I wanna rip my hair out of my skull.
I miss our relationship, our intimacy and just the touches in-between.
It's not that our relationship now is awful, I still love him dearly and we have both stuck with each other through some shit but I'd be lying if I'd say I'm really happy. Don't want anyone else but him, tho.
I hope he finally gets this shit fixed.