![RitaM](/data/avatars/l/2/2018.jpg?1570143570)
RitaM
Mountaineer
- Aug 26, 2018
- 146
Shortly after I posted my 'goodbye' I came down with some awful flu virus so I missed the bus. I was and still am too dizzy to drive or frankly do anything properly.
I've spent the past few days in bed, not only feeling physically awful but crying what feels like endless tears about still being here.
But I'm beginning to have doubts about my method. What if there isn't enough CO generated from the barbecues to fully kill me and I am revived a vegetable? What if too much CO escapes the gaps in my car?
I don't know what to do. I feel like a caged animal. Nitrogen is starting to look appealing but also quite complicated.
I read a post here just now about how when they realised people were killing themselves with barbiturates because they offered a peaceful death, they stopped prescribing them. Because they wouldn't want people having peaceful deaths now, would they!
It's my birthday now FFS. I wish I had the guts to jump.
I've spent the past few days in bed, not only feeling physically awful but crying what feels like endless tears about still being here.
But I'm beginning to have doubts about my method. What if there isn't enough CO generated from the barbecues to fully kill me and I am revived a vegetable? What if too much CO escapes the gaps in my car?
I don't know what to do. I feel like a caged animal. Nitrogen is starting to look appealing but also quite complicated.
I read a post here just now about how when they realised people were killing themselves with barbiturates because they offered a peaceful death, they stopped prescribing them. Because they wouldn't want people having peaceful deaths now, would they!
It's my birthday now FFS. I wish I had the guts to jump.