Misery

[downndone2]

Just miserable....

I pulled myself out of the darkness for months and here I am again, worse than ever

I want to ctb more than ever

Stuck in my house, in physical/emotional pain, jobless, facing other issues, and just don't want to be

I quite literally ruined my life years ago and it won't stop haunting me

And it feels like my shit storm just keeps getting worse

And now N is no longer available, F seems impossible. I don't think any meds I have will do it. I dont think i can do sn... Seems down to gun, hanging, or jumping unless I get lucky somehow... damn

 

[LoiteringClouds]

Hello downndone2,
Catching the bus is really hard. I feel like finding peaceful method to go is virtually impossible in my circumstances, especially when I'm depressed.

Could you please elaborate a bit on your situation, if you were comfortable with it?
(I'm a new member and I can't view your profile.)

 

[whywere]

My heart is breaking for you, and I am always 100% honest and true blue. No matter the situation, sometimes, what I have experienced through all the decades on this planet, it will:1) get better or at least easy off 2) I and hopefully I am not being snotty by saying the whole community here loves and cares about and for you so very much 3) you are family to/for me, as I have no family nor friends , and I want the very best for you. I have in 66 plus years had ups and some real downs and I never had anyone to talk to or have the feeling that I was cared about and on here you ARE loved and cared about.

I am not on all the time, but please pm me if you want and I will respond as quickly as I can.

Sending you lots of love, endless supply of hugs and the knowledge that you make a huge difference not only in this world, but for me also, thank you!

Walter

 

[mafuyu]

I live in America, so personally one of my last methods would be going to a gun range and shooting myself when nobody's looking. I also ruined my life. Anything I touch will eventually become ruined. It's like opposite Midas. sigh

Keep your head up. I always find things too complicated, but I know where there's a will there's a way. So if I don't have the will, well… I just stick around wasting resources. Easier than CTB for us lazy people…

 

[downndone2]

My heart is breaking for you, and I am always 100% honest and true blue. No matter the situation, sometimes, what I have experienced through all the decades on this planet, it will:1) get better or at least easy off 2) I and hopefully I am not being snotty by saying the whole community here loves and cares about and for you so very much 3) you are family to/for me, as I have no family nor friends , and I want the very best for you. I have in 66 plus years had ups and some real downs and I never had anyone to talk to or have the feeling that I was cared about and on here you ARE loved and cared about.

I am not on all the time, but please pm me if you want and I will respond as quickly as I can.

Sending you lots of love, endless supply of hugs and the knowledge that you make a huge difference not only in this world, but for me also, thank you!

Walter

Thanks Walter! Your words really mean a lot! I feel all alone most all of the time! I ruined my life and I thought I got it back but it all was just an illusion.

Hello downndone2,
Catching the bus is really hard. I feel like finding peaceful method to go is virtually impossible in my circumstances, especially when I'm depressed.

Could you please elaborate a bit on your situation, if you were comfortable with it?
(I'm a new member and I can't view your profile.)

I lost

Hello downndone2,
Catching the bus is really hard. I feel like finding peaceful method to go is virtually impossible in my circumstances, especially when I'm depressed.

Could you please elaborate a bit on your situation, if you were comfortable with it?
(I'm a new member and I can't view your profile.)

I lost business, marriage, health, finances, and a lot more several years ago.

After all of that occurred, the depression and anxiety left me crippled, quite literally. Got out of that for a while. But after some recent issues I've found myself right back into it. And everyday seems to just feel worse.

 

[LoiteringClouds]

I lost business, marriage, health, finances, and a lot more several years ago.

After all of that occurred, the depression and anxiety left me crippled, quite literally. Got out of that for a while. But after some recent issues I've found myself right back into it. And everyday seems to just feel worse.

Thanks for sharing!
I'm so sorry to hear that. It's quite overwhelming and your suffering seems to be beyond my imagination.

All I can do are sending you a virtual hug, listening to you and wishing you the best, as I'm no wordsmith...

 

[FuneralCry]

I hate how it's so difficult to die and how peaceful methods are denied from us, none of us should have to feel trapped here in this hellish world. It's just so awful how what we go through can easily just get so much worse, life really is just endless suffering with no real relief.

 

[downndone2]

Hello downndone2,

Catching the bus is really hard. I feel like finding peaceful method to go is virtually impossible in my circumstances, especially when I'm depressed.



Could you please elaborate a bit on your situation, if you were comfortable with it?

(I'm a new member and I can't view your profile.)


I lost most everything a while back. It has been a mindfuck of an ordeal. Financially in a very bad way but also other issues too.

 

[LoiteringClouds]

I lost most everything a while back. It has been a mindfuck of an ordeal. Financially in a very bad way but also other issues too.

I feel as if your situation is genuinely hopeless. I wish I could offer any advice or suggestion about improving your situation but I don't think I can because based on your posts, it seems that you've tried literally everything you could do and still in misery.

I have experienced depressive episodes several times in my life, but I was able to wait until it lifts because sometimes I experience elevated mood (I've been diagnosed with bipolar II.) I could go through the episodes without CTBing just because I was lucky.

I really feel sorry for your misfortune. Do you find some distractions here?
I wish you the best. I welcome your message.

 

[downndone2]

No real distractions, just non-stop misery. Need to find a way out of this and asap

 

[outrider567]

No real distractions, just non-stop misery. Need to find a way out of this and asap

Non-stop misery, I can relate--Don't get any respite from sleep either because of constant nightmares

 

[downndone2]

Non-stop misery, I can relate--Don't get any respite from sleep either because of constant nightmares

I'm so sorry you feel this way too

 

[milly]

There is always a light at the end of the tunnel... at least for me.