quietpill

quietpill

I'm bleeding, I'm not just making conversation.
Nov 27, 2024
35
I'm feeling so overwhelmed currently by the emptiness inside me that keeps growing bigger and angrier everyday. If by some miracle of effort and money I don't have I could get better and improve myself, I'd still be trapped in my body. It feels so pointless to even try, especially when I have no friends, family, or dreams to love anymore. I can feel myself dragging the few people making half-hearted and half-forced attempted to "be there" when I know that, in reality and from personal experience, they don't want to hear or go through the difficulty of comforting my hyper-depressed, endless thoughts and ruminations. After all this time, all I have to show for my life is a disappointing lack of monetization and cultivation of the few skills I do have, my quickly fading physical attractiveness that I resent despite fearing the loss of it.

I really feel that it's just too late. I don't want to smile, I don't want to fake it till I make it, I don't want to be seen or touched anymore. Being understood has never been an option, even when I am trying to talk with people here who say they're searching for conversaation, I see them become disappointed and put-off by me regardless of whether I ma trying to be friendly or not. I don't know how I keep getting it wrong over and over again. Nothing ever works or clicks, and nothing ever gets better. It's just me, alone, as always.
 
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R

Redacted24

Might be Richard Cory... or not
Nov 20, 2023
268
Sorry for that. It's rough to look around and inside and not find anything. It's not "living" in the sense that I think most people use that word.

At least here on this site, we can all be lonely together, and feel support. :heart:
 
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quietpill

quietpill

I'm bleeding, I'm not just making conversation.
Nov 27, 2024
35
Sorry for that. It's rough to look around and inside and not find anything. It's not "living" in the sense that I think most people use that word.

At least here on this site, we can all be lonely together, and feel support. :heart:
I agree, thank you for hearing me.
 
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Reactions: Redacted24

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