Might be leaving this weekend

[Rabbit50]

I'm sorry for what you are going through. I'm on here just because I'm fucked up in the head with depression and anxiety and I've given up on trying to get better. I feel guilty because I don't have any physical pain like a lot of people on here are dealing with but I'm exhausted with trying to deal with my current state. I'm always here if you need to talk. I'm not sure when I'm going to ctb but I'll be happy when the time is right to do it.

Thank you. I'm sorry for you too. You mustn't feel guilty because you don't have physical pain. I'm sure many people on SS don't either. I don't, apart from the effects of the anxiety. I'm here if you would like to talk too. Where in the world are you? I'm in the South West of the UK.

 

[Idontmatter]

Thank you. I'm sorry for you too. You mustn't feel guilty because you don't have physical pain. I'm sure many people on SS don't either. I don't, apart from the effects of the anxiety. I'm here if you would like to talk too. Where in the world are you? I'm in the South West of the UK.

I'm in the U.S. right outside of Philadelphia. I'm just exhausted all the time because of being anxious. I have to do this soon. I hate to die alone but I'm looking forward to finally getting permanent relief. I always need someone to talk to. This forum is all I have and it has taught me a lot. Yep

 

[Rabbit50]

Thanks. I just freaked out a little yesterday since I need this to work. I won't have the stuff for nausea but it should be fine if I fast. I just have to make sure I have enough time alone this weekend.

I'm not sure if fasting will help. I tried the 'water intoxication' method, where you drink more water than your body can cope with in a short period. I read that other people had vomited, so I fasted first. It didn't help though, because I vomited most of the water. It might be different for SN, but probably worth looking in to.

 

[fillthevoid]

My inbox is always open for you if you'd like to talk or vent, no judgement. You don't have to feel alone. You can tell me to get lost, but, I would like to offer my honest opinion based on what you wrote here, and it sounds to me like you haven't had many people in your life to make you feel worthy and loved. I'm almost certain that you are not so bad for everyone around you as you think you are. Often, the kindest people are the most self-critical. I'm sorry you have to feel this way and that life had led you to a place where you feel all hope is lost. Many people would tell me that I have much to live for. But there comes a point where you cannot be bothered trying anymore, the effort does not seem worth the low chance of reward. Perhaps it is the same for you, perhaps not. But please make sure you base any decision to CTB because it's what you believe to be best for you only. If there is even the smallest chance it's not, or that a little injection of kindness could improve things for you, hold onto that. Please. It's always your choice ultimately. But there are kind people out there who can do that for you, and hope may not be lost for you in that case. I just felt this needed saying by at least one person.

 

[Idontmatter]

I'm not sure if fasting will help. I tried the 'water intoxication' method, where you drink more water than your body can cope with in a short period. I read that other people had vomited, so I fasted first. It didn't help though, because I vomited most of the water. It might be different for SN, but probably worth looking in to.

Well I just want to make sure my stomach is empty so as much sn is absorbed as possible before I vomit.