Venting might attempt soon

[qwert3948]

Im thinking about attempting on january 16

no particular reason for the date, by the way lol

i say attempt because i am actually really hesitant. i'm really not sure if i'll succeed.

i'm scared and numb. i don't think i'll be able to. i just don't know what to do anymore though

it has to happen at some point right?

living while knowing i might die soon is really weird. it's why i usually don't plan beforehand and just wait for the impulse.

anyway, i don't know. i'm totally a coward so i might backtrack. deep inside i know i don't really want to die right now, but what other option do i have? it's not like i have magic powers to just suddenly make life worth living. i don't even know what i truly want.

truly i just want to be okay. but what the hell does that even mean?

 

[Pale_Rider]

The answer is no. It doesn't have to happen at some point.

And you are worth so much more then termination based on obscure non-reasons.

You should at the very least know what you want.

 

[qwert3948]

The answer is no. It doesn't have to happen at some point.

And you are worth so much more then termination based on obscure non-reasons.

You should at the very least know what you want.

i'm just tired of feeling pain. i feel like a burden to my family and i don't think i'll ever be able to live a normal life. i don't know what it is, but there's something in me that is wrong and i'm not strong enough to fight it.

i thought i might aswell give up. not even i feel like fighting for it, so who will? no one is coming to save me in the end. no one will save my family either, so i should take the burden out of them.

i am just tired, but obviously just being alive is not enough. i always need to do more and i can't

 

[Pale_Rider]

i'm just tired of feeling pain. i feel like a burden to my family and i don't think i'll ever be able to live a normal life. i don't know what it is, but there's something in me that is wrong and i'm not strong enough to fight it.

i thought i might aswell give up. not even i feel like fighting for it, so who will? no one is coming to save me in the end. no one will save my family either, so i should take the burden out of them.

i am just tired, but obviously just being alive is not enough. i always need to do more and i can't

I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sure you will be more of a burden when you ctb with no reason your family can wrap their head around is my response to that.

 

[thislifeisunfair]

I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sure you will be more of a burden when you ctb with no reason your family can wrap their head around is my response to that.

I agree, if you were to ctb, your family would wonder what they did wrong. It would scar them for life. And dying is permanent. You can't come back from it. They'll wish you were there, but you can't be. But I also get the pain of living, and dying seems like the only way out of it.