Venting might attempt soon

[qwert3948]

Im thinking about attempting on january 16

no particular reason for the date, by the way lol

i say attempt because i am actually really hesitant. i'm really not sure if i'll succeed.

i'm scared and numb. i don't think i'll be able to. i just don't know what to do anymore though

it has to happen at some point right?

living while knowing i might die soon is really weird. it's why i usually don't plan beforehand and just wait for the impulse.

anyway, i don't know. i'm totally a coward so i might backtrack. deep inside i know i don't really want to die right now, but what other option do i have? it's not like i have magic powers to just suddenly make life worth living. i don't even know what i truly want.

truly i just want to be okay. but what the hell does that even mean?

 

[Pale_Rider]

The answer is no. It doesn't have to happen at some point.

And you are worth so much more then termination based on obscure non-reasons.

You should at the very least know what you want.

 

[qwert3948]

The answer is no. It doesn't have to happen at some point.

And you are worth so much more then termination based on obscure non-reasons.

You should at the very least know what you want.

i'm just tired of feeling pain. i feel like a burden to my family and i don't think i'll ever be able to live a normal life. i don't know what it is, but there's something in me that is wrong and i'm not strong enough to fight it.

i thought i might aswell give up. not even i feel like fighting for it, so who will? no one is coming to save me in the end. no one will save my family either, so i should take the burden out of them.

i am just tired, but obviously just being alive is not enough. i always need to do more and i can't

 

[Pale_Rider]

i'm just tired of feeling pain. i feel like a burden to my family and i don't think i'll ever be able to live a normal life. i don't know what it is, but there's something in me that is wrong and i'm not strong enough to fight it.

i thought i might aswell give up. not even i feel like fighting for it, so who will? no one is coming to save me in the end. no one will save my family either, so i should take the burden out of them.

i am just tired, but obviously just being alive is not enough. i always need to do more and i can't

I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sure you will be more of a burden when you ctb with no reason your family can wrap their head around is my response to that.