Discussion Methods as Forms of Expression

[Soul]

Most people here seem to favour a death that resembles falling asleep - not just from our own viewpoint, but also from the point of view of whoever finds us. It's like we're more weary than angry; we don't mean to upset people; if we can remain rosy we'll probably pay extra for that. I'm weary. Tuck me in and let me rest.

There are also those who are fine with turning blue, dangling from the ceiling, vomiting, writhing - very sorry, baby, but you don't get to pretend I'm just asleep. I don't care if it hurts. I want you to see my bitterness. I want you to have to deal with it.

Some of us favour more public methods. I don't care who sees how devastated I am - I'm jumping. I'm leaping in front of a train or a truck. So it'll traumatise the driver - like I'm not traumatised? and who cared about that?? Obliterate me.

And so on. All the methods convey something. What about yours?

 

[Dead beat dad]

Most people here seem to favour a death that resembles falling asleep - not just from our own viewpoint, but also from the point of view of whoever finds us. It's like we're more weary than angry; we don't mean to upset people; if we can remain rosy we'll probably pay extra for that. I'm weary. Tuck me in and let me rest.

There are also those who are fine with turning blue, dangling from the ceiling, vomiting, writhing - very sorry, baby, but you don't get to pretend I'm just asleep. I don't care if it hurts. I want you to see my bitterness. I want you to have to deal with it.

Some of us favour more public methods. I don't care who sees how devastated I am - I'm jumping. I'm leaping in front of a train or a truck. So it'll traumatise the driver - like I'm not traumatised? and who cared about that?? Obliterate me.

And so on. All the methods convey something. What about yours?

I'm just tired brother. Sick and tired of being sick and tired.
The thought of drifting away in to the arms of sleep everlasting fills me with a sense of comfort.
I'm sorry for what those who find those who CTB will have to go through, life is just sad, there is so much sadness and not enough kindness.
DBD

 

[Onomotopoeia]

I have not made a real decision. That said the only thing my method will or should convey is that I don't want to be here. It's not about anyone else it's about me and if that is selfish so be it.

That said it seems super unlikely I would invite trauma to someone else that is not necessary. I.e. someone is going to find my body so that can be a bit traumatizing. My method will not change based on what my body will look like with the obvious exception that I would not jump in front of a train or do anything to put anyone else in harm's way.

While it may not be about anyone else I do not invite nor will I be responsible for adding to someone else's pain beyond what is truly needed for my escape

 

[KnightOfEnceladus]

Mine conveys who and what I am: traumatized, tired, beaten down, and just for once wanting to do the one truly selfish thing I've ever done, to have something go properly and not hurt me. It also draws on my knowledge of pharmacology. And, finally, it is the fruit of learning, far too late, to trust someone. That someone has helped me prepare, and with her blessing and her far-off assistance, I have the confidence to go when it's time.

 

[IsItReallyParanoia]

I literally never thought of this nor do I care how people will interpret my suicide. They never understood so why tf would I care how they see me after death honestly.

 

[LaBrava]

The only method I had thought about in the past was hanging as I didn't know much about other options. Now I'm hoping to use N and a large part of the reason for that is that it just seems more dignified to me to just fall asleep on a bed.

 

[been_there]

Ideation may convey expression, but the act itself is function over style.

 

[NOT]

It is something that has to be done and I am on it.
Really dont care about suicide notes or how my funeral is gonna be like.

 

[Soul]

I literally never thought of this nor do I care how people will interpret my suicide. They never understood so why tf would ai care how they see me after death honestly.

That's cool. I'm not suggesting we should care how anyone sees us; I'm asking what the methods express. Some of us are angry and want that to be clear. Some of us want to quietly erase our existence. Some of us want to blow ourselves to bits because we're raging desperate. And so on.

Ideation may convey expression, but the act itself is function over style.

Ok, but the function is the same no matter which method one chooses. What's yours (if you feel like saying)?

It is something that has to be done and I am on it.
Really dont care about suicide notes or how my funeral is gonna be like.

Nor do I. I'm asking about what the methods we choose express, not about notes or funerals or whatever.

 

[been_there]

Jumping. Or being pushed now I've mentioned it.

 

[omoidarui]

i live in a dream world, my head's always in the clouds so the idea of gassing myself out with helium appeals and is fitting.

 

[Superfluous]

My method is drowning. The reason for choosing this method is that I don't wish my body to be found for the following reasons:

• I don't want any remaining family members to know (I've had no contact for almost 30 years)
• I don't want my body to be repatriated
• I don't want to be remembered, so no funeral or cremation, and certainly no gravestone
• I want to my death to have the minimum possible impact on the environment, as much as is within my control

I realise that I may not achieve some or any of my goals, but it's the best I can do with the resources available to me. I feel this is a form of expression, although I guess it really depends on how others interpret or perceive it that ultimately determines how it's construed.

 

[Halo13]

Most people here seem to favour a death that resembles falling asleep - not just from our own viewpoint, but also from the point of view of whoever finds us. It's like we're more weary than angry; we don't mean to upset people; if we can remain rosy we'll probably pay extra for that. I'm weary. Tuck me in and let me rest.

There are also those who are fine with turning blue, dangling from the ceiling, vomiting, writhing - very sorry, baby, but you don't get to pretend I'm just asleep. I don't care if it hurts. I want you to see my bitterness. I want you to have to deal with it.

Some of us favour more public methods. I don't care who sees how devastated I am - I'm jumping. I'm leaping in front of a train or a truck. So it'll traumatise the driver - like I'm not traumatised? and who cared about that?? Obliterate me.

And so on. All the methods convey something. What about yours?

I think there's a good deal of truth in a chosen method being symbolic of a statement be it wanting peace, slumber, revenge, sympathy or just not caring either way. I'd prefer mine be unlike the way I've lived - pleasant and peaceful.

Excellent post

 

[Nobodysfault]

Most people here seem to favour a death that resembles falling asleep - not just from our own viewpoint, but also from the point of view of whoever finds us. It's like we're more weary than angry; we don't mean to upset people; if we can remain rosy we'll probably pay extra for that. I'm weary. Tuck me in and let me rest.

There are also those who are fine with turning blue, dangling from the ceiling, vomiting, writhing - very sorry, baby, but you don't get to pretend I'm just asleep. I don't care if it hurts. I want you to see my bitterness. I want you to have to deal with it.

Some of us favour more public methods. I don't care who sees how devastated I am - I'm jumping. I'm leaping in front of a train or a truck. So it'll traumatise the driver - like I'm not traumatised? and who cared about that?? Obliterate me.

And so on. All the methods convey something. What about yours?

Its poetic yet i dont agree, most of us wants the first option but cant afford/get the supplies.
I dont want to turn blue and i dont want my head to be crushed on concrete, yet these are my options because there is no N or SN or entiemetics in my country.
I still scroll this forum to find a new affordable way to end my life in a way that i will seem to be asleep when found.

 

[Soul]

Thanks for your additions. @Superfluous, your reasons are impeccable, and to me the metaphor speaks for itself.

@Halo13, thanks for getting what tree I'm barking up here - very appreciated.

@Nobodysfault, you're right: Availability is key to any choice, and yet poetry finds some leeway within that, doesn't it? I don't have access to peaceful poisons, but I'm still not bitterly enraged enough to choke down drain cleaner to make my agony unforgettable to anyone who hears about it; I'm not shattered enough to jump or cut my own throat. So I'll look into the night-night method that sounds so peaceful, or learn to make partial suspension work, preferably with a strong silk scarf that won't hurt.

I wish all of you - all of us - lives we find worth living and then deaths that do what we want them to.

 

[Halo13]

Thanks for your additions. @Superfluous, your reasons are impeccable, and to me the metaphor speaks for itself. @Halo13, thanks for getting what tree I'm barking up here - very appreciated.

No worries! After trying to ctb for almost two decades, I've put much thought into this very subject. I can certainly understand what others mean also. Pretty complex metaphor, actually.

 

[Soul]

Pretty complex metaphor, actually.

It is indeed. Our beautiful @Superfluous becoming immersed in another culture and then choosing to be engulfed in another element - that's deep in every sense. @Onomotopoeia taking special care not to hurt anyone else, while others don't give a feck about that, and the @KnightOfEnceladus finding a way out that's off the beaten track, rigorous and precise, whilst @omoidarui floats away on helium ... Cool.

 

[LaBrava]

I'd prefer mine be unlike the way I've lived - pleasant and peaceful.

This sums me up as well.

 

[agreement]

I'm with you on this.
I've always said that our different methods were something more and deeper than just means of dying like they were a kind of "suicidological" signs.

I'm an "hanger".

 

[Roger]

I'm with you on this.
I've always said that our different methods were something more and deeper than just means of dying like they were a kind of "suicidological" signs.

I'm not so sure that this is invariably true. Undoubtedly, some people choose a method, often spectacular and flamboyant, because of the effect it will have on public opinion in general, or maybe on a smaller group of people.

Remember Jan Palach ? I didn't have to look him up - 50 years later I still remember his name and what he died for, and he came instantly to mind when I started to type this post. That's the effect he had on me.

Men, I suspect, often choose a "manly" method.

Me ? As easily, painlessly, quickly, quietly and cleanly as I can contrive, with as little upset to other people as might be possible. I don't really mind if anybody thinks my method was a bit cowardly.

 

[Partial-Elf]

Thank you for this wonderful prompt/post. For me:

• Hanging is a symbol of hopelessness, somehow more so than other methods. This is fitting for me as I have little optimism for my own future or that of the human race
• Hanging also kind of reminds me of an animal who is caught in a trap and suffering, which is once again fitting
• I'm a male and have always been a little more creative/sensitive and less MURICA than the norm in my community, so hanging feels more fitting to me than firearms
• I've dabbled in tarot and other divination systems (don't think they're "real", just fun) and was always drawn to the hanged man. You can read more here, but the thrust of it is "pause, surrender, new perspectives, letting go." Seems right in the pocket for me
• I value elegance and simplicity in problem solving and certainly feel like my preference for hanging is a manifestation of that. I love how simple and direct it is
• I also would like to hang in a cabin in the woods, mostly for the pleasant environment, quietness, and isolation. I wonder if this choice of location for my method would be considered self expression as well for the purposes of this thread?

 

[Crystal Labeija]

Your suicide alone will leave a lasting impact. No need to make it worse by dying in a painful and violent manner.

 

[Soul]

Your suicide alone will leave a lasting impact. No need to make it worse by dying in a painful and violent manner.

Ah but people who choose those routes aren't making it worse; they're choosing methods that suit them. Some people value painlessness very highly; others value certainty more; others want to make a point. And so on.

 

[fauna]

So it'll traumatise the driver - like I'm not traumatised? and who cared about that?? Obliterate me.

I love this. Although I don't want to intentionally traumatize anyone, nobody ever cared. Why should we care about others? We could go our whole lives reaching out for help and nobody would give a damn.

Obliterate me? Count me in.

 

[Scribble Fan]

I sort of romanticize train suicides. As a kid I absolutely loved going to the Henry Ford Museum, the trains were so awe-inspiring:



The only problem is the poor train driver and my agoraphobia... shame really. I suppose I'll just have to night-night my way outta here... or hang if that doesn't work.

 

[SinisterKid]

I really dont care how I go. If I can procure the things I need to go peacefully and quietly, great, if not, some other method with have to suffice. As long as it works this time around, I really am not bothered what it is so long as no one else is hurt in the process.

 

[Soul]

@Scribble Fan, thanks for illustrating so clearly what's impressive about trains

 

[262653]

I'm going for full suspension + masturbation as a natural sweetener (I don't call it erotic asphyxiation because an orgasm isn't the goal.)

• Fits my lazy efficient nature. All needed materials are at my apartment so you can say it's entirely homemade.
• Not painful. I don't like pain but losing consciousness like that feels very scary. Masturbation will be used to counter that.
• Not concerned with afterdeath or other's feelings. Whether I left crap all over the place or not, I'm not the one who's going to clean the mess.
• Hands-on approach. This method can be honed with practical experience and doesn't require extensive research like chemistry-involving ones.

 

[Soul]

@BabyBirch, I've done a little googling to find peer-reviewed articles about what may be behind different choices of method.

Some of what I've found is rather simplistic, eg women choose "less lethal" or "more passive" methods than men do; or that people who complete suicide use more lethal methods than those that merely attempt.

But some of them look like they might have some relevance to your mother's choices, including switching methods. I hope some of them, and/or something listed in the bibliographies, might provide some insight.

Stability in the choice of method during the period preceding a suicide attempt and in attempt repeaters

scielo.isciii.es

Choice of a suicide method: Trends and characteristics

The aim of this study was to examine (1) suicide trends by most prevalent methods in Queensland, Australia, during 2000–2015, and (2) characteristics …

www.sciencedirect.com

WHO | Methods of suicide: international suicide patterns derived from the WHO mortality database

www.who.int

Method choice, intent, and gender in completed suicide | Request PDF

Request PDF | Method choice, intent, and gender in completed suicide | Women who commit suicide use less violent methods, such as drugs and carbon monoxide poisoning, than do men, who more often use violent methods... | Find, read and cite all the research you need on ResearchGate

www.researchgate.net

 

[death137]

In the past partially b/c I saw no other option and partially b/c I was fascinated with blood or bone crash I tried to jump and cut my carotid artery.

My present method is full suspension hanging. I'm not fascinated with it. The only reason I will do it is because I see no other choice.