messages to the void

[scared:bug]

kitty cat is void. he looks at me in the dark. he wants to know all the secrets. i know he will keep them safe. pain is nothing to him. pain is ok, pain is a river, flows and goes and flows and goes. he can share the pain, i know it, because it doesnt matter to him. pain matters to me. it matters, it really does. inside the body is a war. pain and war. i cant treat it right. i cant sit for even a few minutes because in the body, it is war. it is suffering and pain and it sucks. sometimes it makes me confused. i am a human on the earth. i live my life with my self every day. i see through my eyes. i think my thoughts. i feel my feelings. i do my patterns. i dont know why or how. or how to change. it bothers me a little bit. i wish i could spend time in silence. without the pain. there has to be something more than the pain. i think the cat can tell me.