Venting Merry Suicidal (and final) Christmas!

[WornOutLife]

So, here it is! My last Christmas has come. I plan to CTB next year. Don't know when exactly but I guess I'll only cope with this world a few more months.
It feels strange. This is my 32nd Christmas and and there won't be a 33rd.

Anyway, Christmas is not that special anymore for me; have lots of family problems, suicide is on my mind 24/7, depression, bipolarity, I'm being monitored 24/7 (well not really, I get some freedom now, after my failed attempt).

I'll just try to have some fun with my parents and my lovely dog.

What about you? Is this going to be your last Christmas too? How do you feel? I think some people will CTB today. I'd rather choose another day.

 

[botanormal]

I hope your final Christmas will be something to remember! This will be my final Christmas too, so I understand how you're feeling, it's difficult to really process that this will be the 'last one'. I hope that, despite all of our issues, we're still able to relax a little bit tomorrow, and maybe even have some fun! My dog loves this season too, he's always running around with the wrapping paper in his mouth, and getting all sorts of extra treats, not to mention the extra attention from family. It always makes me a little happier to see him happy, I hope you enjoy your time with your dog too, and your family of course! It can be really difficult to be happy during this season, with everything else going on, but I really hope your final Christmas will be something special, because you really deserve it. Wishing you a merry (final) Christmas!

 

[yive]

definitely last

 

[Seul]

I hope you have a lovely day!
For me, either it's my last Christmas or I'll live to over 99 years old and tell dramatic stories about how this was rock bottom and I thought it would be my last. There's no inbetween! I feel like either I ctb or I'm immortal

 

[Spitfire]

This will probably be my last Christmas.

I am a little concerned about the end of January to be honest, because I usually get crazier during that timeframe.

 

[MrBlue]

It will be unless things get much much better very quickly, which given my situation is exceptionally unlikely.

 

[HelloHell]

I was about to ctb today but decided not to proceed
Pretty sure this will be my last christmas

 

[justsad&done]

So, here it is! My last Christmas has come. I plan to CTB next year. Don't know when exactly but I guess I'll only cope with this world a few more months.
It feels strange. This is my 32nd Christmas and and there won't be a 33rd.

Anyway, Christmas is not that special anymore for me; have lots of family problems, suicide is on my mind 24/7, depression, bipolarity, I'm being monitored 24/7 (well not really, I get some freedom now, after my failed attempt).

I'll just try to have some fun with my parents and my lovely dog.

What about you? Is this going to be your last Christmas too? How do you feel? I think some people will CTB today. I'd rather choose another day.

Merry final Christmas! Make the most of it. Eat too much, drink too much and enjoy your sweet dog.
I can't imagine going on for much longer feeling this way. So I hope this will be my last Christmas. I look around at those people who really seem to enjoy the holidays and life in general and I think they don't know how lucky they are.

 

[Sherri]

Your one of my favourite ops here. Sorry that you going through a hard time....

 

[symphonyofthenight]

It's weird to think about that this is the last but I really hope you find peace after xmas. That's the only reason I'm holding on. I haven't interacted with you much but I have seen you around the forum and you'll be missed.

 

[I screwed up]

I hope this is my last month ... Cannot see more of this life pass by with my depression

 

[Amumu]

What happens if we call a NPC for Christmas man?

 

[rabbithole]

Also my last. I wish I could ctb today or tomorrow but it doesn't seem right to do that. I might ruin all future Christmases for my parents. I plan to ctb very soon after.

I hope your last Christmas is a good one. <3. I also really hope and pray for your recovery and another option besides ctb to show up for you.

 

[WornOutLife]

What happens if we call a NPC for Christmas man?

That sounds amazing lol

 

[Meditation guide]

Is this going to be your last Christmas too?

It's got to be, Another year like this past one is something unimaginable.

 

[an_alias]

I'd rather choose another day.

agreed. i'd spend my christmas with my family (although i wouldn't be able to now, of course) if i could and then CTB